I cannot recall the way your arms felt around me,
nor the softness of your lips against my own.
I do not remember the song or the rhythm as we danced,
close as we could push our bodies.
It slips my mind exactly what day your birthday was,
or if I ever called you,
to bless you on that day.
I cannot revive a single memory of the specific events,
of the time we spent together.

But after all this time, and the distance between us,
I have never forgotten the way that I loved you.
Nor the blue of your eyes,
or your heart shaped face,
And how beautiful you were to me.

I have never forgotten,
the way your voice was the only one I ever wished to hear utter,
the words that always made my heart skip a beat.
Nor will I ever forget the day
that you forgot me.

Lightness rolls through the cracks,
and I feel the warm caress of the sun on my bare cheeks.
Kissing me in the ways that you did,
in the darkness of the night, hidden,
from a world that condemns the practice,
of love that is nothing but pure.

Hiding my face in a pillow,
that still faintly smells like you.
I inhale.
Reminiscing about the way your hands felt against
my bare stomach.
And how you told fit so perfectly against me,
that I could swear we were puzzle pieces made for each other.

A smile curves my lips in the way,
that you’re always trying to capture in a picture.
I know you may not be my forever,
although, I’d rip the world apart for you to be,
I am glad to say that at least you are my
right now.

I’m not the person you had hoped would stand there,
all proud and tall, with a glow about me,
as I held her  hand, so small and delicate,
in my own, and whispered, “I love you…”

But I was this sad broken down figure instead,
bent in two, like a broken marionette.
You had no words to say to me that night,
or any other that ever made it better,
and that’s when I realized. You were never
the right person for me, never the person to hold my hand.

You needed me to stand proud and don that
radiant smile you had become so accustomed too.
But I couldn’t do that, after my light was extinguished.
Not for you, and not for the world.

You whispered in my ear, the words I’d always
told you, before I did something stupid,
or ridiculously brave, as I viewed it then.
“You’re invincible.” You said to me.
And I almost believed it.

Until I looked at my body so empty,
and devoid of the life it had harbored.
And I shook my head, and gave you a broken
Imitation of the smile you’d always loved.
“Not anymore.” I  said as I pulled my hand away,
and looked into the face of eternity.

I do not fear you, because, you
might take me over, but rather because,
if you leave me broken down and half formed.
Caught up in the passion of your love,
until you decide it never really meant that much to you,
then I fear I will forever wander the world,
sad and lonely, with only half of a heart.