the bright light it's robbing me from my sanity.
prepared for the end of that rope.
sun, linger close to earth once more.
it yearns for the tickle of your rays,
lingering upon its surface.
it's so cold.
never leave me as the sun does...
continuation remains unclear.
terror coats my every thought.
heart beating as fast as my love grows for you.
instinct,
pushing against it, as if it were trying to slow it.
instinct, eternally victorious.
my ignorance puts up a steel wall against it,
hurting myself.
trust is absent.
please don't surround us.
with those bars of trust,
that will allow you to so easily break me.
fear of you leaving grips my heart
with it's icy claws, and it's perpetual stare,
warning me:
don't fall for him
it's telling me.
my little bit of reassurance
grasps all it can with it's minuscule grip.
i'm barely breathing.
just let me go home…
put my whole future for grabs
just to stare into those eyes once again
before someone takes them from me.
those eyes,
the only gateway past the facade.
i see you.
i just hope
you'll stay lonely long enough
for me to come home.
i shouldn't need to tell you
that it'll be worth it.
if i do,
i can forget about you in an instant
i tell myself

I'm ******* terrified.
Paranoia.
Constantly buzzing in my ear.
I cover my face
Lying, telling
myself it's not there.
If I can't see it,
it can't see me, right?
Please.
Don't hurt me.
Don't take from me my only source of sanity.
Looking back,
I can't go through that cycle again.
All of my scars.
I don't see a place for another one.
Hesitance,
takes on an everlasting duel with my instinct
of taking a chance.
That small,
but intelligent,
part of me says, stop.
Run,
Hide,
while you still can.
Wait this one out.
But I'd have to hurt you.
I'd have to hurt you by hurting myself.
Either way i'm *******.
Just for you.
I'll take this chance.
Might I be so bold,
as to say I might love you.

Nervous streaks
Pierce me straight through my very existence.
I'm in shatters.
Frightened.
The signs point to a good day.
This process,
No stranger to me,
Causes me and agonizing anticipation.
This process,
A known danger to me,
I can't let this slip.
In my thoughts,
These explosions are minuscule.
Calm down,
You jumpy cells
This might be alright.

i'm not afraid to sink into the depths again
the foggy deceiving depths of affection
under whatever circumstances i land
i am reassured that it will be a better land than my current
the black current is ever pulling me
it attempts to persuade me
to take the easy route
to **** me into a routine point of no return
i'm screaming out
protest
it'll never get me
dedicate yourself all you want beast
through it all
i'm a person
i am my own
i am forever becoming stronger
feet are both in bear traps
i ain't going anywhere
sure
i hope you're not a disappointment
i hope you can take it
the hand won't change its pace
if all doesn't fall through
would it be that bad to
fall for you?
because i may have already started…
come rescue me from
this melancholy cloudy night
that occurs each and every day

even the inevitable yearning for us,
the north and the south pole,
to recover whats lucid;
whats been left just for me,
leaving your share behind for this
world without my love.
shrapnel of your wasted time and love burrows
deep into my reason to continue
on this unforgiving track of meaning and purpose.
Hopes and encouragements melt
into the crimson puddle of my hearts tears

oblivious as time races by me
i'm still rooted to the same old spot
as i was in my childhood
time strains these roots

oh how i cried
why'd i waste those tears?

theres probably not a trace
of mascara on her eyes
no
that was another life
another time

these old pictures of mine
they begin to look a little like paradise
can i make it?
i don't want to change
take me back to those pristine fields
i would take a little more time to lay in them
the currents of the society
constantly pulling at each of my limbs

nothing will always be there for me
nothing
even the sky changes
how do i escape?
there has to be more than this
what a waste

I know you’re thinking it too
The unspeakable
We’re gonna make it together boy
We’re gonna make it
I miss you with all my heart
Last time I fell this hard
And this fast
It ended in a mistake
Afraid
But I have nothing left to lose
And I’m not going to make that common fallacy
Leave past experiences out of this
So I’m going to make that plunge
I really like you
How you would subtly touch me
In passing
The wonderful shivers it sent up my spine
The way you kissed me
Hard
I wasn’t expecting that
Your hands running up and down my back
Heaven
When I see you again…
My heart will skip a beat
And my smile
Will be outta my control
I’m going to stick with you
You’re the best I’ve ever had

And for you…
Don’t trying to be my friend
I’m trying to forget you
I’m trying to move on
It hurts to be with you
Knowing we’ll never make it together
I’m so close to being past you
And no
I don’t want to talk about it
I can’t take any you say to heart
Not after that ****
Please stop talking to me…
Just leave me alone
Like you were once so eager to do
You don’t even like me