i wish my troubles
could float off in the bubbles
but nope
they're staying here
all around my feet
i don't see them
but i trip over them constantly
i'm not ready for maturity
it's coming at me
with the speed of light
put up my one and only shield against it
it's not yielding
it won't slow down for me
i guess you could say
i haven't graduated childhood
i'm not scared
i can take the future and whatever it brings my way
but i can't let go
of the things i haven't experienced
concentration fades
the kids story books remind me of a better time
it just hit me today
that it only happens once
and quickly too…
i don't want anymore school books
i don't want to have this hurt
that i didn't find in the good ol' days
i'm sick and tired of worrying about who i am
i don't want to rely on artificial highs to get me by
i don't want to have to steal just to feel the thrill
one day this'll all catch up to me…
and i'll feel true regret
for the first time
hows that for growing up?
take me back
to that first day
when i almost killed my mother
take me back
and let me relive
every
single
day
maybe not to change anything…
just because i miss you,
my dear past
hurts more then every pain
that has occurred in my life
when i realize
i can never turn back the hands of time
peter pan take me away
an incomplete childhood
is what anchors me down
the current continues to nag at me
it'll never give up the fight
and it
will
win…

wish i could tell you i told you so,
but i didn't.
with each comforting heartbeat,
the only portion of life that's always there for me
we can only leave together.
the edge of my eyesight would blur,
peripherals no longer
i find it preferable that way,
and i saw those stars
which i love but am confused by.
you are one of those stars.
i think i despise you.
you once appeared so paranormal
divine.
now that facade of a goddess
has shattered
and the fresh shards
piercing deep into your innocent flesh and own self
and mine
change how we view one another.
driven by desperation
you've sunk into the deepest
and darkest scale of your unexplored options
now where are you?
inside the remains of that disintegrated facade,
that facade of strength and perfection.
now i see you as i should've from the start.
raindrops of pure lust and stupidity
pour from those clouds of truth and true self
that you rely on so heavily
to conceal and avoid.
however,
once upon a time
did you have such tainted depths?
or was you inner self identical
to your once intact facade
or did your weakness of the moment
allow her to inject you
with her own spreading mixture of
corrupt promise and ruin?
what have you gotten yourself into girl?
should have floated away with me
to the 4th dimension
into a brighter place with genuine promises
where i could have protected you
from your very own unexpected demons

the intense concentration
all things hushed
our mouths
yearning to be connected forever
our tongues intertwined
i'm on the floor
your hands on either side of me
we learn
after falling so quickly for one another
every little detail about each other
i want to learn everything about you
every once in a while
i'd get scared,
nervous,
and i'd break it off
but you would just press your lips to mine
once again
and i let you
i don't care
i'm your little doll
i'd **** for that kiss again
i fear that the taste of you
will be tainted
with the tears of the heart that's to be broken
i'll be poisoned with the guilt
and lose my appetite for
the taste of you
never able to enjoy it as i once did
forever
my blood will be tinted with the regret
sadness
guilt
and a shard of the broken heart
will forever circulate in my veins
piercing me as it travels through my very existence
contaminate me
poison me
i have the sense of wrong and right
i have yet to access it
**** me now karma