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a e s t h e t e Mar 2016
would you stay even
after knowing my demons
have a hundred names?
s.a.b.
a e s t h e t e Feb 2016
A word turned into a phrase
into a sentence
into a paragraph

another comma wasn't sufficient
to breathe, a period was needed
s.a.b.
a e s t h e t e Feb 2016
Was there ever a more beautiful sound than your name? To speak it aloud makes my heart ring like a bell. Strange to imagine that, isn’t it – a heart ringing – but when you touch me that is what it is like: as if my heart is ringing in my chest and the sound shivers down my veins and splinters my bones with joy.

Why have I written these words in this book? Because of you. You taught me to love this book where I had scorned it. When I read it for the second time, with an open mind and heart, I felt the most complete despair and envy of Sydney Carton. Yes, Sydney, for even if he had no hope that the woman he loved would love him, at least he could tell her of his love. At least he could do something to prove his passion, even if that thing was to die.

I would have chosen death for a chance to tell you the truth, Tessa, if I could have been assured that death would be my own. And that is why I envied Sydney, for he was free.

And now at last I am free, and I can finally tell you, without fear of danger to you, all that I feel in my heart.

You are not the last dream of my soul.

You are the first dream, the only dream I ever was unable to stop myself from dreaming. You are the first dream of my soul, and from that dream I hope will come all other dreams, a lifetime’s worth.

With hope at least,
Will Herondale
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince
a e s t h e t e Feb 2016
I am all the lies I've spoken
I am all the truths I've left unsaid
I am all the promises I've broken
I am all the trust I've never given
I am all the love I should've shown
I am all the walls I've patiently built
I am all the void that I'm scared to fill

..and yet
namaste, said your soul
and I am all the soul that was redeemed.
s.a.b.
a e s t h e t e Feb 2016
i've reached the peak
the fullest my heart could get

one final kiss
one last cry
and i've reached the peak
s.a.b.
a e s t h e t e Nov 2015
002
All these years, I’ve been terrified
what if this long, exhausting journey
came to a sudden halt, and no one
ever learned to love me

Too caught up with a fear
I became too blind to see
that so much people have tried
to love me truly

What could be worse
than not being loved,

I asked myself

Years later, I’ve come
to a perfect answer

*not knowing how to love.
s.a.b.
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