I hate you.
You should know that by now.
These permanent frown lines
etched into my brow
that I tell people are from squinting
really show the story of how you
moved into my head over a year ago
and still refuse to move out.
I really loved you-I still love you-How could I have possibly ever been in love with you?
You are Evil,
a Poison,
of the very worst kind-
the one that always leaves me wanting more.
An addict,
Please give me another Fix.
Please stay the hell away from me.
This ever-revolving door
is making me dizzy,
it's making me sick,
it's making me wish
I never started with this.
Please call me tonight.
You just reached out to me last week
and we both know I wasn't really asleep but
you couldn't have paid me enough to respond.
And yet, working out the perfect reply I'll never send,
I started at the screen until dawn.
The door is still spinning,
the room is now spinning,
I wish I could stop my head from this spinning,
we will always be the world's worst song on repeat.
You're a great thinker, but a criminal,
incapable of affection or empathy,
but you stole the very Earth right out from under my feet.
Don't worry though,
I think I'll get my sea-legs soon
and they'll finally be strong enough
to walk away from
you.
I recently started seeing a therapist. It's bringing up a lot of things I wish I could forget.