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there is peace here
a love that bleeds from a tree
darkness flees from the light
where sin and grace collide
Sweat inside me
dry
to the core
Memories
fading to horizon blur
Pores gasping
airtight
turning in on my skin
that once burned
alight with you
It started out so nice
This year
This life
My eyes wide with promise
My smile chasing its silver lining
Iris dilating like a magnified black button
Vacant, stupid
But promising

It started out so nice
When my parents tied the knot
Unmatched
Bracing for the windstorm to come
And the pumpkin oval moon
With their seventies corduroys
And their vinyl records
Scratching away at Elvis
In oval loops
Rocking and rolling on the living room carpet
Dying to be in love, madly
But unmatched

It started out so nice
When my sister was born
Cuddly thing
Running around
With her belly button
Wedged between her fingers
And snot running down her face
***** little thing
But cuddly

It started out so nice
On my bike one morning
Sailing on silver morning calm
Slippery
Gears seamless up and down
Leaning with life into hairbend corners
Straightening them out
Parental
And from nowhere a yellow taxi
Oozed from an exit
Greeting me with a thud
And then air
Borne to fly, it seems
Asphalt rushing at my face
Painful
But slippery

It started out so nice
When your lust grabbed my attention
Sickly, but lovingly
By the scruff of the neck
And your eyes threw me to the floor of my shyness
And your lips pried open my stubborn heart
With no regard for your own shame
How you gave me the lesson I needed
Before you tore away to someone else
Taking my throat with you
It was sick
But loving

It started out so nice...

Just before I stumbled into the Sugarman
The voice of the silvery soothing one, the same
The one with the indigenous eyes behind the shades
The one of perpetual expression of peace washing both highboned cheeks
With Big Ben behind him offering the world, the same!
Now hiding his golden smile in a shack of broken leaves and winters ice
Stooping his bent back against the galeforce reserved for the forgotten
Labouring to keep his gentle form afloat
Amidst the calm of his nothingness
Propped up by the skinniness of trembling knees
Sunk into the oversized roominess of his boots
Which plod the same snowbound path every day
In a soundless march to fetch his daily survival
And questions fell about me
Like spilt gruel splashing
And I asked why
And I asked
Why?!

Why you, Sugarman?
Are you really happy in your humility?
Do you still feel the butterflies
On a velvet afternoon?
It sure looks like it
You look just fine in your sea-purple Detroit harmony
I'm not there to share yours
But I'm ok with my dawn
And my sister is ok
My parents are ok
My girl is ok
Im not there to share your dawn
But I'm ok
The Man showed me a rainbow
Then He told of a barking dog
That could be silenced
Silenced in my thoughts at last
I believed Him and wept
The rays warmed me
For as long as it took
For Him to stop talking.

The Boy began to believe
The Son could at last be kissed
The King looked on with a smile
The Mother? Her ***** bright like a rose

I ran toward the banded colours
Where the promise of tenderness lay
Where the gold glint of relief shone
Splashed up against an eternal cosmos
Dripping with the honey of the womb
And the sweet down of heavenly soft
Under the melt of a fathers gaze
Holding mine in gentle play.

The sky was made of cardboard!
The rainbow was bands of steel!
The hint of gold reflected off a fools pan!
The honey? Archaic resin hardened!

I turned for an exit in a losers pathetic pose
Searching my steps backward for where I took the wrong turn
To this land of un-Edenic strange
To this place of oxymoronic weird
Where the promise so freely offered
Extended moments before so open
Now little more than dust relayed
From the very same palms of hope.

The words of kind turned to ice
The angels stood with swords barred
The Book of Love remained tight lipped 
The Barking Dog? Louder than ever into the ever darkening night.

I stood in bewilderment on this centre stage
Wondering if this was the right universe
Hoping for the end to this cosmic joke
That had found its way to my unfortunate mind
But relentless it was
And a sentence had been passed
It would be a noose of time, precious time
Regardless of my presence or absence

The noose firmed its rasp on my voice to quiet
The descent into silence engaged a metallic gear
The receding of those ones I loved into shade began
The future? Unquantifiable, heartless, maybe

It's been a world of dark for some time now
A land of tumbleweed strewn without wind
I've been rubbing sleep wanting eyes awhile
Too afraid to close them lest I miss what's hoped for
For fear I pass over unmistakable clues
Marking the return of the Captain of my soul
The Master of destiny bound to show
In this otherworldly time frame undefined to now

The cracks of light seem poised to appear
The oval dome sky now less unreachable
The hints of smile seen through frosted glass
The way back? Longer than the way toward, appears.

My hope is that you never tread my path
My dream is that you never need that rainbows allure
When you hear the dog barking, feed it with nurture
A savior is not all its cracked up to be
We are, after all, just human
Bound by the same defects
Slaves to the same weariness of time
And given to the same journey.

The light will always shine on the hopeful
The fortune will always favor courage
The past is always a slave to bad memory
The end? Always be healing anew.
A delicate hand paints on an invisible canvas
With blind fingers and a seeing heart
A loveliness no darkness could ever swallow
Because this hand is not afraid
Of the dark

Longing to chase shadows into their chains
To see water flow from a promise
A delicate hand paints the bluest skies
With clouds embracing the sun
On a canvas

What a remarkable sight inside one’s mind
These delicate brushes of happiness
Blind fingers paint with a seeing heart
Scattering darkness from a world
That’s grown cold
Copyright *Neva Flores @2011
www.changefulstormpoetry.blogspot.com
A crown of daisies on the dresser

Reflection of our joyous past

Bewilderment in your dear blue eyes

now blurred by pain...

I caress your feverish brow and smile

as I always have...

Let go...let the silent sleep still your pain

Memory keeps you close to me

Your laughter like bells rings in my ears

Your special glow still lingers

Sleep now my friend...

Embrace the great love in eternal grace
KMC@2011 For my friend Tina who lost her battle with cancer age 39 on feb.19th...
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