Her name is Ava,
An autistic girl who just needs love,
A beautiful angel sent to us,
From almighty God, up above.
She's in her own little world,
That is far from here,
What she doesn't know is that she's loved,
An innocent girl who lives in fear.
She may be aggressive at times,
Disobey the rules and cry,
But she can't help her actions,
We can only hope and try.
I can empathize with her,
I can cry like her as well,
But I will never see the world through Ava's eyes,
A girl with much to tell. :)

He picked up the glass,
Right up to his lips,
He closed his eyes and clenched his teeth,
As he took consecutive short sips.
He put down the glass,
And sank down in his chair,
As he contemplated his thoughts,
Of every wound, every tear.
He looked through the glass,
And saw his reflection on one side,
But why did he have to see himself this way?
As he put his head down and cried.
He drank his sorrows away,
And emptied the glass soon enough,
He couldn't bear drinking alone,
When the times do get rough.

He ran until he could no more,
Insipid pawprints, on all fours.
He was instantly taken aback,
Thinking they'd attack!
But fooled by him,
His reflectin oh, so grim!
He pranced through the night,
Out of his own hidden fright.
Yet it wasn't until,
He solemnly stood still.
But there had not been a sound,
As he foolishly turned back around.
If he only knew he was not the same,
Would he experiance no shame.
But he walked unwillingly amongst the night,
With not a sound heard, not a sole in sight.

I stand atop a hill,
Right in the thick of love,
Deeply pondering my thoughts,
From high, up above.
It was not until I saw your face,
Did my heart slowly start to pound,
Envisioning nothing more than blurriness,
From all around.
As I look into your eyes,
I can’t help but form a luminous smile,
A feeling that comes only within,
And appears all the worthwhile.
How did I find such a worthy guy?
Respectful and sincere beyond belief,
Loving and very much admirable,
Attractive, heartwarming, with perfect teeth.
I stand atop a hill,
Embracing you with loving arms,
Kissing your lips with passion,
Discovering all you’re charms.
You leave me in much suspense,
Every time we unite,
You’re love to me exceeds all expectations,
A feeling oh, so right!
So much freedom,
We endure,
As we embark on new adventures,
With much to explore,
I stand atop a hill,
Smiling endlessly through the night,
Because I know you’re always there for me,
Always shining bright. <3

I love my boyfriend,
I love my friends,
I love my pets and sports I play,
I love em till the end!

My family depicts a broken heart,
But it is my heart that has shattered,
My heart that fought to become happy,
My heart that truly mattered.
A broken heart can never be fixed; only strengthened,
And I wonder why I have a difficult life,
How I'm always forcing happiness into my heart,
Actual feelings of hard work, pain, and strife.
I make myself cry,
A broken heart not healed,
I ponder my former thoughts,
That have tightly shut and sealed.
But if I died a smart girl,
Causing her own pain every day,
I would have some form of life,
Where I would surely be okay.
I can't control others; only myself,
And I made many mistakes I will forever regret,
But a broken heart remains sealed,
And to never forget.

What is truthful

Don't ever give up your life,
For the one you care very much about,
Because the others are left with everything but *you,
Feelings of sorrow, rage, and doubt.
Why did you abandon our family?
Why did you neglect every one of us?
Now only you can tell us why,
There's decreased love, and abandoned trust.
Don't ever let him make you feel inferior,
Losing grip of your dreams,
Because you are nothing but youself,
Or so it seems.
Don't force love into your heart,
It gives love a great shove,
But if you comfort each other,
That's true love.
You cannot change him,
Only he, himself, is able to,
So do what your heart desires,
Pursuing what you want, and what you choose.
Love is omnipotent,
And can only be felt by you;
In only a matter of time,
Will your love appear true.

Never give up,
What you have already started,
Because you never know when,
A new beginning will come.

There's a saying,
"You never know, unless you try,"
Though some things may stand beyond your reach;
Lettin all this time pass you by.
Can you imagine your faults?
Or exceed expectations?
If you're going at it alone,
From overpowering temptations.
Life is a bridge,
Where you either stand or fall,
But never imagined,
So frail and small.

\

Nothing more disgusts me,
Than living with my brother and father,
And an inadequate mother.

Nothing disgusts me more,
Than living with my brother and father,
And an inadequate mother.

Nothing more disgusts me,
Than living with my brother and father.

Nothing more disgusts me,
Than living with my brother and father.

As the golden sun sets,
My eyes tear and sparkle with joy,
The burning torture of the day; gone,
And now the white light to enjoy.
I sit at the stroke of midnight,
Eyeing beautiful lights up in the night sky,
Thousands; millions enraptured my acceptance,
Watching is a privilege, yet not to fly.
There is more to be seen,
For tiny stars are resting above me,
They call on me as to do a favor,
I am to count these stars,
Every one I see.
Yet the beauty gets more intense,
Of newer, bigger stars forming,
Yet my ears follow another sound,
There becomes grayness for storming!
Stars faded one by one,
Some vanished in a row,
For this was no joke,
Nor any show!
The most widely know star,
Burned the cloud,
For whatever tiny stars were left cheered,
The night seemed so proud.

On a summer morning,
Monkey had awoken early,
His eyes all sleepy,
And his hair wildly curly.
Swoosh,
He opened the door,
He had to use his mouth,
Because his tail was way too sore.
  Slam,
Monkey shut the door behind him,
His friend Panda,
Was called hungry, hungry Jim.
Monkey was off to work,
His tail dragging on the floor,
He was sure to be back in time,
To feed his family of four.
Although monkey was guilty,
He missed work twice,
Monkey was confidently sure,
His boss would be all nice.
Monkey had walked to the glass,
It said no dogs allowed,
For sure he was a monkey,
He walked in and proudly bowed.
His boss said he had to leave,
For he was not a monkey,
But monkey had explained,
He was very chunky.
The boss escorted his out,
Angry as could be,
For sure he was a monkey,
Can’t his work boss see?
He decided to go food shopping,
At the nearest grocery store,
He wanted to get home quickly,
So his family wouldn’t be that poor.
Monkey walked to the grocery store,
His feet were aching,
It was 10 miles away,
This was a big risk that he was taking.
Monkey got there very fast,
Quick as in running,
It said only monkeys allowed,
Wow that sign was stunning!
Monkey had barged in,
All the monkeys were looking at him,
He was told to get out,
So then he visited his old friend,
Hungry, hungry Jim.
When monkey had arrived,
Jim had told him he was a dog,
So Monkey left ashamed,
In the new deep fog.
Monkey had decided to go home,
And Comfort his 3 young ones,
He’d see his wife,
Oh, he loved them all a ton.
Hungry, Hungry Jim smiled,
As if he was really, really bad,
He decided not to eat him today,
He saw him so sad.
Monkey’s house
Was just around the corner,
It was a pretty color white,
But most of the time,
There was not much light.
He had opened his house door,
So lonely and ashamed,
He was a monkey,
He had claimed.
Monkey flickered on the light,
Nobody was there,
His wife and kids left him a note,
“You are a dog, we could not bear”.
Monkey was so depressed now,
He walked to hungry, hungry Jim’s house
He had tiptoed in,
And was as quiet as a mouse.
Jim had caught him,
And asked why he was not home,
Monkey had explained,
His house is just a comb.
Monkey said his family had left him,
Because he was a dog,
They think I don’t belong,
And am just a plain old hog.
All of a sudden,
The panda ate him whole,
And the only thing that was left,
Was his sad little soul.

The time spent thinking of you,
Is endless every day,
You stole my heart rapidly,
I feel grateful to this day.
Occupying myself works best,
When I’m struggling alone,
You are my whole life now,
You have gracefully shown.
My love for you is as high as the sun,
As clear as the sea,
As visible as light,
As close as we can be.
You help me to see,
That we are a whole,
That I’m not broken,
That we’re in control.
I keep feeling love for you,
Where our fate lies ahead,
I’m bound to fall hard for you,
I might tell it to you instead.
Our love exceeds a thousand miles,
Romantic as a glass of wine,
As we learn and laugh endlessly,
Is when I see us shine.
Sweet o’ valentine,
I love you ever more,
Sweet o’ valentine,
Look at us soar.
Beyond the barbed wire and gate,
I see a shadow of only two,
Inseparable and complete,
For Zach, I truly love you.
I can tell you just how I feel,
Not only from a work of art,
Not just through words,
But through my beating heart.

It was my father who left me,
To discover a place of his own,
Lonely, but dishearten I felt,
For a place called “unknown.”
Baffled was I,
As to why he suddenly left me,
I trembled alone in fear,
Was I a goner soon to be?
Where have my hopes gone?
Withered away to stone,
Leaving nothing but the past,
For a place called, “unknown.”
Why do I feel resentment?
My father had a horrifying tone,
Had left me heartbroken,
For a place called, “unknown.”
My heart beats like thunder,
As I shiver to the bone,
My father ruined me,
For a place called, “unknown.”
Where will I go from here?
Too much my father had shown,
A martyr my father will always be,
For a place called, “unknown.”

He left me deserted in a field of endless fog,
Turned the car around and left me,
All because I whispered, "I hate you,"
And so desperately yearned to rome free.
So I walk through the unknown,
With only the clothes on my back,
But where was I going?
For I hadn't kept track.
I looked of the colors green, blue and purple,
Of endless bruises everywhere,
My back, face, neck, and heart,
And desperate love, in the air
Why should I cry my misery away?
Too exhausted from all the pain,
I'm too hurt for love,
That marked its permanent stain.
Haven't cracked a smile in years,
Since my father exploited me,
Feelings that I was worthless controlled me,
I am heartbroken, you see.
Who am I anymore?
Isolated in the midst of despair,
Hurt on the outside and inside,
Every wound inplanted, ever tear.
I walked through a path of misery,
Comtemplating a life I never had,
A life that shrouded my mind,
From an ashamed, cold-hearted dad

Be grateful for the things you have,
Rather than the things you desire.

Life has its bumps and sharp edges,
But you've made it this far,
So don't stop now.

Maybe he just needs his space...

I'm sitting here,
Waiting,
To be happy again...

Maybe he doesn't want to break my heart,
Already knowing,
That he lost interest in me,
Not too long ago.

If I didn't have my friend Flo,
Or tennis, running, and my close friends,
I couldn't live in this world,
A world killing me inside...

I try to make an effort,
But I guess it's just not good enough.
And just putting it out there,
I guess I'm the one to blame...

I love him so much,
But I don't know,
If he loves me back anymore...
I guess I have to just suffer through,
This strenuous relationship.
But how strenuous could it actually be,
When no one's even trying?...

I hate my body,
But that's nothing knew,
Because I've always hated my body.
I hate my rock solid bed cover,
But I've always hated the bed cover.
I hate that it's hard for me to make friends;
It's always being hard making friends...
I hate that I have acne,
While other girls are tan without acne.
I've had acne for a while now...
I hate my phone,
I hate my clothes,
I hate my face,
I hate the fact I have massive anxiety,
Every day...
I hate that I'm never happy,
That I can never just simply enjoy life,
Even though it is summer now...
I hate that I can't communicate well with my boyfriend,
After already being with each other for other nine months.
I hate my huge ****,
Always did...
I hate not having anything to do,
For the time being.
I hate that I can't open up to my boyfriend,
When he certainly can't open up to me.
I hate losing.
I hate always being angry,
Always having something to worry about.
I hate pushing myself,
Even though I know I have to.
I hate that I don't really have the connection,
I used to have with my boyfriend.
I hate that it sort of faded away after nine months.
I hate that my boyfriend doesn't understand my feelings,
Yet I can'topen up to him,
Because I feel he won't care,
And he has no time to listen.
I hate we don't have fun in our relationship,
As much as we used to.
I hate that there's very little spark he feels,
I could see it in his eyes...
I hate that I'm starting to feel detatched from him.
Maybe he deserves better,
Than me.
Maybe he's not right,
For me.
I hate that he has no clue,
Of how much I still love him.
I hate that I can't show him,
How much I still love him,
Because we're becoming too distant.
When will we have that talk,
Where I could fully open up to him?
I hate that he's too good of a guy for me,
Intelligence, handsome, funny, respectful, athletic, etc...
But am I doing this to myself?
Or does he not feel the same way,
I feel about him every day.
Did he install a video camera in my house,
Or on my body,
Where he watches my every move?
And doesn't like what he hears or sees?
I might be thinking way out of the box,
But there's something not right now...
I hate myself,
I hate myself,
I loathe myself...
People say it's not your fault,
Or not everything is your fault,
But through my problems,
It is all my fault.
And I'm always going to think that way.
Maybe I'll become depressed again,
Maybe even suicidal...
Again...
I hate that he only talks to me,
In a matter of need,
Not want...
I hate that I'm not interesting enough for him,
That I'm just a casual seventeen year old girl.
Maybe It's me,
Because I feel it is always me.
Maybe he actually wants to leave this relationship,
But doesn't know how to do so...
Maybe he's not telling me something..
Maybe there's another girl...
Maybe he's mad at me...
But I still feel no spark.
I can only love him now,
If he loves me.
And I've never stopped loving him since our relationship.
I hope he loves me back.
And doesn't just say he does.
Because he really is an amazing guy.
It tore my heart apart when we were apart for so long,
Throughout the school year.
Maybe this is the best I'll ever get...
He is offely quiet and reserved,
When I invite him to special occasions,
But maybe he's scared,
Or nervous,
Or scared of me,
Or scared of us,
Or has doubts of us...
Maybe I'm wrong about everything......
But I know what I'm right about,
Is that I cause myself too much pain inside,
To the point where I wish I could just,
Run far away and hide...

If I am so shy,
What's the point in living another day?
When I have so much anxiety,
There's nothing left to say...

I just ran a fifteen mile route,
With my best friend Flo,
Just a look at those tiny feet,
Just go, go, go!

It is my brother's barmitzvah tomorrow,
And he's a little overexcited today,
Screaming, ranting and raving,
While practicing for his barmitzvah.

Yo quiero,
Llamar a mi madre,
Por que...
You creo que tengo,
LA GRIPE!

I may have hurt you deeply,
But I did it only out of love.
...And I still love you deep inside.

I walked on the mellow heart of a newborn,
Tiny palms moving frantically in the open air,
I conveyed my frustration and embarrasement of her,
Such a devious mind; had she not cared?
Wasted away in her own little world,
Among rainbows to perfection,
But sticks and stones she's left me with,
A long-lasting, sallow complexion.
She cried me a river,
Out of hatred, not love,
She's ashamed to be a part of life,
From miraculous God, up above.
In her eyes of black,
She continuously trembled with fear,
When cancer took over her,
and hurt me deeply,
I suddenly knew,
the death of her,
Was almost near.

I love him
.

I'M HUNGRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NO FOOD OMGGGGGGGGGGGGG

I'M HUNGRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NO FOOD OMGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Wake me up,
When I'm ready to take chances,
When I'm ready to accept fate,
When I can be myself anywhere, anytime,
When I become happier,
When I learn the meaning of, "goodbye,"
When I express the love that remains in my heart,
When I become less nervous.
Wake me up,
When I move past my faults.
Wake me up,
When I'm still wondering,
Why I'm long gone.

You are ****,
And you know it,
So be proud!

I've learned,
To accept whatever hardships (crap)
come my way.

I look in the mirror every day,
And I am never satisfied with what I see.
I see a girl with acne and scars,
Who's pretty, in all actuality.

I stay quiet,
For a reason.
And that reason is,
Because I'm just afraid,
Of what people will think,
Of me...

I used to feel isolated,
But now I have anxiety.

I was once suicidal.
Now I'm just hurt.

Maybe I am unlikeable,
Even though nobody says anything to me;
They just glance,
And turn away.

He wants to study something,
And he said it's me...

What?
WHAT?
WHAT??
Words that are tedious,
And last till eternity,
There is no better question,
Than the question of uncertainty.

I'm lost in my own thoughts.

I am cold,
Bored,
Tired,
And I miss tennis. :(

What's for dinner tonight?
I'll settle for a plate of hope,
And a glass of anti-anxiety.