Take me back to the days of a Ghanaian sunset.
When hope dwelled above the waters of despair
And I gazed into the eyes of a sinking soul.
Where trust and fear were honest and pure --
Felt in the mountains, cities and fishing boats alike.

I want the hot air, the mango juice dripping down my hand, the dirt kicked up around my shoes, the roosters in the streets, the taxi cab dodgeball games, the eggshell passenger rides, and the shy children singing across from me on the shore. Because I want it all back.

It's the feeling I had when I was there in a wide space so open -- it is a feeling I call free.

My care for you
is no justification
to torture myself.
You cannot wrong me
and keep me still.

I am my own,
I am not yours  -- which seems to be how you wanted this.

My concern is not if you win, however
but whether I choose to lose.
I will be free of you, in every sense free.

I shouted to the world:
"I want a love I can feel so deeply inside of me that my bones tremble.
I want to be known by someone so deeply that my body turns transparent.
I want to trust another so deeply that all my fears dissolve like snow.
I want to find a lover who loves me so deeply that his very blood flows free for me."

And I cried to the world and I searched for my own
When, still and small, I heard Him come to me:
"Have I not opened your blind eyes?
Be still. I have loved you, so deeply."

You are every word I meant to say.
You are the daisy chain from my youthful reminiscence that I never had a chance to wear.
You are the place in the darkness where I'd like to hide that I never quite found.
You are the breath on the back of my neck in the middle of a sleepless night that I swear I can truly feel.
You are my almost.

I tried to sleep away this sickness and sorrow
but when I finally awoke, all I felt was low
I tried to drown the feeling in a cup of hot tea
but the warmth and aroma only made it grow

I'll ask Charlie, Sam and Pat to get you off my mind
but I'm too filled with the thought of how long you'll need time.

When I tell you
“I don’t know”
it’s because my thoughts will not stop racing
and the fog in my head will not recede.

All I really know is I want you now
Even if I shouldn’t
And I’m not good at taking things
One day at a time.

Could I spend some time with you,
Would that be okay?

Even if we both know that
You'll have to go away?

Because I'm lonely and you've missed me and I need a way to feel.
Just know that it's all personal and you're not my plan to heal.