Her hair tangles on the pillow as she shifts
Her fingers twitch as her dream hits its peak
A gentle snore releases itself from the depths of her throat
And I can smell the tang of her breath
It's absolutely revolting
But it's what makes her human
I love her
I love her for the way she lets out a deep breath and grunts
I love her for the way her fingers crawl across the sheets to search me out
I love her for the way that her whole body leans when they find me
I love her for the way that I'm the one that she curls into every night
Every evening
Every day
Every morning
I'm the one that she holds
I'm the one whose knuckles she kisses and caresses
I'm the one whose tongue tastes her passion
And knows the texture of the insides of her thighs
I'm the one who looks at her stretch marks and sees growth
I'm the one who watches as her eyes flutter then open
They focus on seeing
Then they focus on me
*And I love her for it

I can see the way she looks at him
She loved him once, she can again
She let him fall and left him to drown
But here I am, I won't let him down
He's mine to hold and I love him so
She may love him now but I won't let go
I've seen his tears as they cloud his eyes
Her sudden betrayal had been no surprise
But she wants to enter again, and he may let her
But I'm not going down without a few things to say first

Perfect life
Perfect story
Perfect house
Sorta boring

White fences
Picket, at that
Not a bug
Nor a rat

No specks of dust
No dark spaces
But our heads
Are filled with dark faces

That stare us down
And steal our originality
We don't have a "home"
Our future's a dark alley

I can see your hand
It's right in front of me
Reaching
     Reaching
          Reaching

I'm tempted to grab
But I'm afraid of the one thing that could happen
Falling
     Falling
          **Falling

And the night pressed itself down
Flushed against the car doors
The fog creeped up the windows
Steamy and warm compared to the biting chill of the outside air
The fog became thick
As did the air surrounding them in the car
And the car shook rhythmically like a boat lost at sea
Gentle howls of wind like wailing ghosts
Spilling from all cracks
And forever they'll remember the moon

You try and you try
That ladder that you climb
Crumbles underneath your hands

You hold yourself close
You refuse to let go
But soon it's so bad, you can't even stand

There she is, beauty, it's true
She's waiting there, waiting for you

So you grab onto the ladder
And you pull yourself up
To get to her, there's some **** to go through

His warm chest drew me in as his arms guided me to lay
We stared at the stars on a quilted blanket that we found in the cupboard
Neither of us knows whose it is or how it came to be in our possession
And he kissed my forehead
To my temple
To my cheek
To my nose
To my chin
To my lips
..slowly..
..slower..
And we vanish into the hold of the other..

You are an ***
That is true
I can't quite think
Of anything good about you

You harass many
Apparently it's fun
I listen to your ******* jokes
Hey, are you yet done?

The way that you hold my hand,
So willingly, so happily
The way that you sprinkle kisses
Making fun of yourself
And others before you

You told me you loved me
But a little more talking and you were unsure
I'll never tell you how you're supposed to feel
It's not my place
But I've told you this before many times

*please don't get my hopes up

His hands skidded across my skin
His eyes were smoke-screened and I questioned him
Did he know who I was?
What he was doing?
Where we were?
He grabbed my hand
His lips pressed forcefully against mine, rough, bitten.
My lips matched his but they were.. delicate you could say.
Because I was seven.
They weren't full, they weren't sweet, they weren't "tasty"
The fact that my "kisses" were "good" was not something to be proud of
I'm fifteen. I know what you did now. I know how you hurt me.
There's only one thing I don't know by now.
why the **** did you do this to me?
i was only a little girl
but now i'm still just that, only hurt.
you shouldn't be proud of what you did.
you shouldn't be happy with yourself
i don't know if you'll get what you deserve
i just know that i didn't deserve that
well i might've.
*see what you've done?

******* up
I've done enough
Please hold still
This will hurt a lot.

Most people fall for blue
Like the sky fell in those eyes
But I fall for brown
Because they're so down to earth
Almost as much as you
Just like I like you
Or love you, should I say
A first love that has stayed since day one
And hopefully stays until there are no more days
And everything simply is done

You say I can tell you anything
But you know I'd rather not
Because the fear of losing you is worse than
All the troubles that I've got

I don't want you to believe
That I'm incapable of love
Because it's the only reason I cry anymore
From sane down below to broken above

And I don't want you to know
That every breath hurts now
I don't want you to see
That I cry every day and how

Because you'll leave like the rest
And I know that sounds rude
To assume that you'll be gone
But we both know it's the truth

It feels so much like a game
And the prize is so sweet
Every gaze that is held
Every brief little meet

I don't know what you've done
But I beg you, don't stop
If feels like the world is at a stand still
And I'm standing at the top

The stars are twinkling for me
The moon winks through her phases
I feel like I need more time
I need to meet these new faces

So I'll think more about you
And what I could lose
So I don't take advantage
And start things off with bad news

I don't know what I'm writing
It seems all jumbled and such
I feel like I'm faking
Like my words aren't enough

But I know that I'm not
The second the words are down
I can't help but feel phony
There are worse things around

What's the worst that could happen
What have I to be sad of
Nothing should stop me
I should be full of love

But why do I feel
Like these words are the truth
All until I click "Save Poem"
Is it because of you?

*No, that's ridiculous, right?

Wow, what a site
My own personal hell
To log onto's impossible
When you've got nothing to tell
You feel stupid for just checking
To see if they've noticed you, you guess
And when they haven't you feel down
Never saying "Is it my fault yet?

Either I'm the best
Or you're a liar
Either way
You started a fire
That I dare you to put out
I double-dog dare you to squander
Do it now and you're left to wander
In a dreary haze with no sign of love
I'm all that you have
Like an eternal cold hug

I'm dizzy and swaying
The room needs to stay in one place
Every person is blurry
I can't recognize a face

Maybe this time I've gone too far
Do you even care?
I'm about to let go of love
Will you hold my hair?

Pack it up, walk away; you must feel too unwelcome to stay
His glare is like knives, his voice like wind chimes,
And the contradiction quite confuses me.

She was just a stranger
Another face in the crowd
One that didn't stand out
One that didn't know how
But he was quite the artist
And enjoyed views such as she
The ones made delicately
The ones that couldn't see
Then the man swooped down like an angel
And rescued her from her life
And painted her how he saw her
Their love sharp as a knife
But he could not bear it
He could not compare to it
For every day before that
Was his choice to repair her
And he painted her forever
Pictures lining all the halls
Before he realized what she wanted
It was too late for she was gone
She disappeared like pain itself
To return when nobody could see
For the next morning when he came home
Sitting tall against the wall
Was a picture of him from her
Captioned "Love came not easily"

You seep into my mind like blood through a wound
Your words are the mixture of a gentle caress and harsh slap
I do not understand how you can do what you may and still let yourself breathe freely
I don't mean to be arrogant but I can't see myself doing the same

There were many things you did not say
There are many of the wrong people you didn't deny at your door step
Figuratively of course; even you are human enough to pity a poor outsider
But you would not properly listen to what had to be said by them

I can think you to be cruel and call you names until the sun sets
But you had the sweetest touch, the softest voice, the most needy hold
You acted as though I was every breath you'd ever need to take again
I don't understand, you either lied or stopped breathing

When you left me in the cold winter's air alone

Mirror mirror on the wall
Through their fear you make them crawl
Through their lies you ****** their souls
Through their hearts we never grow old

Mirror mirror my old friend
We strip these people of defense
We **** their spirit and all their friends
We keep young faces until the end

Mirror mirror on the wall
Am I the fairest of them all
With what I've done inside these walls
When will I get to be immortal

Mirror mirror you sly leach
With all the lessons I've seen you teach
All the pain inflicted on me
I **** all the fair women I can reach
I enslave these men, every, each

*Mirror Mirror

I feel so much sadness
In the way that you speak
To me when I'm crying
When my eyes start to leak

The way that you held me
Is different from now
It's all out of sympathy
The love has run down

You left me so quickly
You sped like the wind
And I miss you so sweetly
My old, dear friend

Waking up to a floor flying towards my face
To sweat clinging to my cheeks
Tears leaving a thick trace
Fear burning as quick as leaves

My heart pounded in my chest
My fingers ached in writhing pain
My thoughts seemed to become a test
And I feared what I saw could happen again

The darkness was blank
And it helped me relax
As though I slept in a cave
Like death with some hacks

Your cats don't care if you're crying into their fur
Because tears dry faster than bathwater
Your dogs wouldn't give a crap if you had cuts or burns on your wrists
Because you can still use those hands to play tug of war

Your cats will still walk all over you
And your dogs will still trip you from beneath

Because you are their master, their owner
You take care of them out of the goodness of your heart

I think it to be absurd if your turtle ignores you
Just for the color of your skin
So why should a human do it?

*Did you all forget that we, ourselves, are animals?

If I call you
Will you answer
Whether you're mad at me
Or can't stand it
That's it's my name flashing
Across your screen
That it's my heart chasing yours
After everything

If I draw for you
Will you accept it
You asked me once if I could
Yeah I remember it
I could sing this over and over
Like it's a song
Shout it right in front of you
You wouldn't even respond

Because you don't love me
You don't even like me
Sometimes you see me
Your eyes just start screaming
And I know this is all my fault
But I can't stop trying
Because it hurts to be near you
You make me wanna start crying

Again and again
With that rude glare
I loved you once here
And I'll still love you there
Because that's what I promised
And I never break those
And no amount of threats or yells
Can change that, you know

and as I sit here
close to tears for whatever reason it must be this time
you talk to me like I'm a human being
for the first time in years.
why?

And even looking at you
You're stressed and drained
And appear to be half asleep
I still love every inch of you that is and isn't in sight
You're not mine to keep
So I won't even try
But you're still here for me
Every time I feel like dying... and more
And I fear that's enough
To keep these feelings alive
And it scares me because I have got no right
To be bursting into your life
Left and right
*please don't leave me

Messages can be deleted
Memories cannot
Pictures can burn at any fingertips
But I'll remember your face forever

I can stare for a long time
And still see the same thing
A selfish cruel heart
That pulls my heart strings
And I'm lucky to have gotten
Out quite okay
Alive and well
Prepared for more days
That I know will suffocate me
Yet I welcome them still
Because through bad or good
I have plans to fulfill
And you could take part
If you wished, don't you see?
Your attitude decides
If you're worth it, to me

Gray walls
Gray minds
Searching for something
You'll never find
You long for adventure
But it's right there
You put me aside
But that's not fair
I wish for the same things
But I wish for a home
I wish for some things
That I've never known
And I want you to show me
That it's okay
Because you know what it feels like
To wish every day
And to hurt beyond hurt
As though I've done wrong
And my waiting is up
We have wished for too long

If you could do anything
Out of everything to do
What would you tell yourself?
That you're one of the few?
Who follows their dreams?
And listens to their heart?
Ignoring the truth
Avoiding the start
That shaped who you are
And who you'll be
You're not as rare
As you think you seem
And I'll tell you a secret
None of us are
You're no different
And nor is your heart

You know that feeling before your heart drops?
The slow concaving of your chest
And you want to **** and cry
But you're too hurt too afraid

And there's nothing you'll ever be able to do to forget
How badly that hurt, how terrible it feels to not be able
To take anything back
Yet it's allowed to take your happiness
Your smiles

**Everything

Some secrets were meant to remain secrets
You weren't supposed to tell me that way
That wasn't how I should've found out
And now I know
And I can't feel anything
Anything but what you said
In that shaky, quaky, terrified voice
Because I pressured you into spilling
More than just the tears that cascaded down your face right after
The break in your words
The hint of agony
Never again will I hear that
Because I will keep you safe
I swear it
My little flower

You can't be gentle
You can't be sweet
You can't be tidy
You can't be neat
This wasn't the plan
The plan wasn't you
Now I'm debating
Going all the way through
With what I had started
With what I have schemed
You've shown me a perspective
I'd never dreamed
And now I feel guilty
Which I shouldn't, you see?
My idea wasn't that
You'd go through with these things.
So, stop being gentle
Stop being nice
I'd hoped for pain
I'd wished for a fight
I wanted bad
But got good in return
I've never been so lucky
This shouldn't be heard of
But I appreciate all your work
What you've done for me
While I can't even wait
For three minutes it seems
You're so unlucky to have me
But please don't be sad
I'll try to make it all right
Now that I know what I have

I'm afraid to say
That I know you're here
Liking my work
And I'm honestly scared

What if you don't like
What you see upon my wall
Or what I write in this secluded place
No one knows at all

I didn't think you'd find me
You have me concerned
No one's looked as deep as you
Just writing this simply burns

You've revealed that you have discovered
Something I hold very dear
And I wonder if you'll ever understand
This is my home, here