Smiling ever so sweetly
A quick wink of the eye
She opens her palms slightly
And lets the dust fly

Mind you this is not pixie dust
Nor dried mud from a troll
But the finest of fairydust
That could ever be thrown

It seeps through the crevices
To the pages within
Playfully and knowingly
Lands on a poem with a grin

If your one of the fortunate few
Then you know what I mean
Because what has landed on you
Is the love of her dream

Your heart it does soar
As her dust lifts you up
Sparkling among the words
The magic of fairydust

It's been a month of Sundays
Since it is that I set face
Anywhere near this band of angels
In this most Holy Sacred Place

Guilt may overwhelm me
Shame may do me in
This day set forth may break me
Great sinner that I am

No one is less deserving
For I am the least of these
As I am covered in God's glory
Awashed with an inner peace

The days that I've been vacant
Are all apart in the grand scheme of things
Bringing me to my knees in my need of saving
And back to the Eternal King

As my brothers and sisters in Christ surround me
Pouring out love, not ones to judge
Tears of joy like flowing fountains
As another Prodigal son returns

Have you ever chanced upon a poem
In which you stopped and cried
Never knowing the reason why
This one poem turned your life

So much so you took the poem
And turned it into song
In which the world all sang along
Righting all its wrongs

Where the essence of this one poem
Poured out the sweetest melody
One in which the birds did sing
Bringing on an early spring

All from this one poem
That you chanced upon that day
Bringing to your life a change
Over what it had to say

This is just another love poem set to rhyme
Really no need to waste your time
Whether it's love you lose or love you find
It's just another love poem so nevermind

Just another love poem in your hand
Low on ideas, still high in demand
Been here for years yet to be banned
Another one of those poems way out of hand

Just another love poem tossed in the breeze
With just enough umph to fill a few needs
One or two I love you's with a few you love me's
Just another love poem brought on the scene

Just another love poem to come cross the wire
Just another love poem pulled from the mire
Just another love poem to jump into the fire
Just another love poem in dire need of retire

what you need to understand about me is that i am nothing more than misplaced passion and a pair of blindly swinging fists that tremble with unrighteous anger. so allow me to apologize in advance for the fires my subconscious starts. i am a clumsy compilation of ill-suited lines that will never see life in your poetry. at least, not like they used to. you are a book filled with with pictures i never got to take, and every day i am forced to sit idly by while she starts a new roll of film. the missile crisis reincarnate is inside my chest, so forgive me for not being able to control when i shake. forgive me for fumbling with syntax so crassly. i know better than to spew hate and call it poetry. please understand that the endless series of sinking ships in my head makes it difficult to form coherent thought. my thoughts, will **** me, if your absence doesn't first. i think about your hands more than i am proud to admit, and when i picture them reaching for her i feel so sick. i'm sorry. i am so sorry that i haven't yet learned how to moderate the volcano in my throat. i'm so sorry for spitting fire with my eyes closed. forgive me for confusing anger with bravery and burning down too many houses to count. in my misguided thirst for blood i weaponized memories and threw them like daggers in every direction, but the only one being hit is me. i am so tired of bleeding, i am tired of this one-sided war, i am tired of being a war. i tried so hard to be catharsis personified but i have to face the reality that my arms would only hold you like a grave. i loved you like rainwater, and lost you like time. you were never mine. you were never mine. you were never mine. i have to say that to myself every day because it eases the pain of watching you belong to anyone else. but i can't ignore the surplus of "what if's" wreaking havoc in my consciousness. i think that's why i get so angry when i picture you laughing with her instead of me. i am blocking out the memory of the night you told me my laughter could cure your sadness. ******* it. i am trapped in a nightmare where the walls of the home we built are lined with photographs of her. this is why i can't breathe at the thought of her smiling when the flash goes off. they say that nothing good stays; i have never been good at leaving, so i guess that makes sense. you once referred to me as an anxious mess you would spend the rest of your life cleaning up, and i can't get that out of my head. i hope you know, that after everything, i would still sit and collect dust on a shelf in your house forever, if that's what you wanted me to do. but i know it's not, so i'll go back to apologizing. i'm sorry that my rage doesn't have an off switch. i'm sorry for being a literal spitfire. i'm sorry for being an earthquake under her glass slippers. i'm sorry that my mouth is a loaded gun and that i have ****** aim. i swear to god i'm trying not to shoot so often but this is one of the hardest things i have ever done. so until i learn control i will burn in silence with the safety on.  

- m.f.

2002:
today i kicked the door
to history off it's hinges
my jealous frame:
still too proud to say a word
it seems my folks forgot
to pencil in growth marks
cause they thought their boy
would never grow out of small breath
******* dead, years now buried
and i bare his name
too many syllables
for my father to go back
fish & play football
to stand in the yard and play catch

1994:
my mom, the bombshell in retrospect
broke her back in her sleep
a thousand times
since the stairwell in 87'
she still sits for spills
post nuclear about settling
now from the couch
she's a weather report
spouting nonsense
that makes my father
grow grey, crack remotes
& slam doors to dark rooms
abandoning ship
for "cheers" & "scienfeld"
while my mother
sometimes forgets
and sets his place at the table
and my appetite is abducted
by family photos
my mother says things like
"go see your brother today"
-- Johnny's long gone
don't you remember?
we buried him
the day your smile died

2014:
you are inches from me
******* a stray hair
caught in the fabric of your coat
the last remnants of a dog
we laid to rest last week
and here we are
in the hospital again
people don't shake like dogs
finality is found
in the eyes of humans
passing archways
into shallow rooms
where plague and prayer
are the only songs sung
round the stagnant clocks
it makes me wonder
if the clipboards cry
over being the last thing
someone ever writes on
take a number, have a seat
stay a while
i am back, 7 years old
& there are different doors now
they buried the ones
you kicked in that night in '92
when my lungs
were filled with holy water
you never stopped smoking
*i never grew out of asthma

When you ask of me, why poetry
I'm not sure you understand
That it's the center of my universe
The very depth of who I am

The molecules in the air I breath
Oxygen pulsing through the veins
The storm brewing beneath the surface
The pounding of the rain

It's the timeless anticipation
Of the thought that's yet to come
The tearing open of life's seam
The beating of the drum

The first peak of the desert flower
When it feels the gentle touch of spring
The smile in the eyes of a child
And all the joy it brings

The in and out of the tide
In the pulling of the waves
When you ask of me, why poetry
What more is there to say

Oh, I'm being eaten
By a boa constrictor,
A boa constrictor,
A boa constrictor,
I'm being eaten by a boa constrictor,
And I don't like it--one bit.
Well, what do you know?
It's nibblin' my toe.
Oh, gee,
It's up to my knee.
Oh my,
It's up to my thigh.
Oh, fiddle,
It's up to my middle.
Oh, heck,
It's up to my neck.
Oh, dread,
It's upmmmmmmmmmmffffffffff . . .

Just before the sun is giving its birth
and millions of stars are embracing the earth
When all of the senses are being alert
and our souls are fully unhurt
Fully undressed and ready to convert
Unaware and completely impaired
with eyes wide shut and bodies off guard
Prepared to sacrifice and give away the heart
Those are the feelings of people in love
Those are the moments to cherish for life
All alone under the light of the moon
Waiting for her loved one to come home soon
Praying for the one to find his way
To come to her and forever stays