I Am Poetry...

Held together by these lines
with my substance
black on white
here for all to see
the true makings of me...
Each word that you see
is a fragment
a shard of the
bigger picture...

And all that i am
is all that was written...
By the hand of another...
My Mother...

I am 1 of 4
Epic Poems
Started by her hand
but unending in stature
I Am "Shandel Louis Pruitt"
For Short it's "Del

:) lightly thrown together.... no real thought in this one

When I look at you
Know what I see?
A divine young queen
Worthy of better things

It may just be me
Since I don’t think
That you really see
Where you should be

True love is near
But you ignore it
No really, it’s here
You’re looking at it

Yet divinity is blind
Time & time again
Since you should be mine
Not just my best friend

A love like this
Should never be ignored
In my heart you’re loves missed
Yet my heart’s still yours

So sing to me
My divine, young queen
Your angelic voice
Resounds in me…

As true to you as the sky is blue
I’ll love you & bear your pain
Yes it’s true, I still love you
That’s one thing time will never change
It seems to me, you’d cry for me
If my life came to an end
But still you see, there’s a love that we
Still hide from all of them
I won’t leave, without you boo
So in pain is where I’ll stay
Until I know you, will be here through
The Joy, Pain, Night, & Day
So I’ll shed these tear, until you’re here
No…. until WE run away
Ill be right here, so have no fear
I’ll wait forever and two days

As I sit and reminisce
I see it’s been so long
I understand it’s you I miss
And the time when we went strong
Baby girl I love you too
That’s something I can’t change
As true to you as the sky is blue
I’ll still carry all your pain
My love for you still grows and blooms
Like a flower long forgotten
It hold’s the heart of a champion
It smells of sweet seduction

What more is there to say
Other than you’re an angel
Who blesses me day by day
And protects my heart from danger
Within your beautiful wings
I’ve found my saving grace
Into my listening ear you sing
As I gaze lovingly at your face
The many bleeding wounds I bear
Are mended by your gentle touch
Enemies attack us if they dare
Our unison will sustain the rush

Laying in this mess
Watching this room spin
Upon my desk
I notice my pen

Like a sword and shield
My pen and pad
The weapons I wield
The strength I have

Like a volley of arrows
I launch my words
My heart it shows
Through these adjectives and verbs

If only I’d verbalize
As sincerely & and sweet
As the words in my mind
Feverously flow onto this sheet

It’s my new year
Time for my new struggle
That’s one less fear
One less reason to be muddled

The emotions of his heart rage through his faltering mind
As he pretends it’s all copasetic he’s dying inside
His ascetic hopes are forlorn, mislead
Yet his vitriolic speech is calm, yet feigned
The deceitful gaze of one who’s dead
This tormented anguish is where darkness reigns

The subversion he’s endured to show her his integrity
The staunch defense he supplies is his loves continuity
Yet truth be told to him it’s all illogical
To him the words are more unsatisfactory than death
A claim of love leaves his heart more thoughtful
Since the same claim of love still resounds in his head

Now I don’t know how well you understand most my words
But what’s being said is what you’ve already heard
There’s more to it though if you can’t really tell
But you’ll know who I wrote about hopefully
And all I’m tryna say is… umm… well…
I do love you and hope you feel the same about me…

I just wanna let you know
I really do care for you
I just wanna let you know
I’ll always be ther for you
I just wanna let you know
I’d give up my life for you
I just wanna let you know
I’ll spend all my life with you

Just because you still love him
It doesn’t change us
Because what we have
And will become
Love has said
“You are the ones”

Since we’ve started
It’s never stopped
Love’s grew
And bloomed
It’s budded
and blossomed

the beautiful finish
is this beautiful flower
I mean the look in your eyes
And warmth of your smile

So I just wanna let you know
that i'll always love you

it’s all the little things you do that keep me so infatuated…
the little changes in your hair…
the days when you want to dress ****…
and the days you dress classy…
the days when you change your make-up even a little…
or those when you don’t wear it…
the sound of your voice on a good day
and the look in your eyes on the same…
your open expressions of emotion
happiness, joy, & pain…
hell even the days your p----- at me…
and the days you caused me pain…

see honestly
it’s just everything
you are
and all you’ll be

everything I never had
and everything I’ll ever need…

I love you!

It’s really funny
I mean the things that we
Least speculate
To be happening

I mean all around us
Nobody knows
About this love
That continues to grow

They see that we
Won’t give this up
But don’t understand
That we ARE in love

Just think like this
When I bring the ring
And drop to one knee
What will they think

Who cares really
When they’re so simplistic
Desiring not true love
But a hit it & quit it

If that’s what I wanted
Would I still be here
Telling you sweet things
Speaking sft in your ear

I know you’re my love
And I your’s to
My divine young queen
I mean my everything

So when all is gone
And red becomes blue
Throughout the stars you’ll know
I’ll eternally love you

I’m falling
D
O
W
__N
Deeper into the darkness
Without my angels love to guide my heart
My mind is simply regressing.
And readdressing light as darkness
With this forlorn trust
And mislead love
Could it be lust
I’m feeling… huh?

A light in the dark
A ray of hope
Shaped like a heart
Yet formed of gold

A guiding light
This angelic thing
That’s scooped me up
And helped me free
My mind from matter
And hopes from dreams

And finally it seems I’m falling up

Into the graces of heaven
Bringing freedom from pain
and the lust of other men
I’m finally able to live for me
Since after all this time
It’s finally become we.

So protect me
In your angelic wings
Let me fight for we
Making us eternally free…

t’s like I already knew that this would happen
I knew I’d go and break you down
But if we can boo let’s pretend
That it’s just us & no one else’s around

I didn’t really mean anything that I said, I regret that letter
Because I’d sooner be dead Than find love that’s any better
I mean baby please believe in me
At least gimme a chance to replace your wings

I apologize sincerely for making you cry
I mean there’s so much more you became to me

You are the reason I don’t cry
And why I’m so strong
You’re what makes me try
& why I’ll live long

I think of you as my tears
So I won’t cry because I’m afraid that I’d lose you
& you’re in my dreams
So I don’t wanna wake up cause I know you’re not near me…

First you say yes
And we’re back together
A promise was made
That it’d last forever

Again you said yes
And accepted the ring
A light in the dark
If you know what I mean

Once again it’s a yes
But the rings come back
And I’m confused
The beacon of hopes
Ben severely bruised

next question I’ll ask
are you after someone else?
Better yet is he tryna get at you?
Or is it something coming back from your past?

My heart says no
But my mind says maybe
My eyes are fooled
And my ears say yes

But still I’m here
Looking at you in hope
But the rings is gone
So where will we go?

It’s like every time
I look at you
Nothing more than good flashbacks ensue
To way back when
It could’ve been us two
Until that day
I left from you

It’s true
I’ve had dreams of you
I mean you could’ve been my boo

It’s true
I did cry for you
You cried for me too
So what could I do?

It’s true
I fell in love with
I felt you loved me too
But if not that’s you

But to speak pure truth
My dreams of you
Sparked new desires too
Desires brought need
Those need were you
So if you need me
I’ll stand right here

Truthfully…
I’ll stand right by you…

I never thought I’d say this
But you wasted my time
Through all we said & did
Marriage was just a lie
You should have just told me
I wasn’t for you
Slight changes in me
Are still unclear it’s true
After all you said
You’d just leave me now
But my whole family
Will say I let you down
From depressed to obsessed
In forty-three flat
Obsessed turned to love
I want to send it back
Fake love, true pain
Caged dove, scattered brain
Broken heart, bleeding veins
In the dark is where I’ll stay

I regret letting you go
Just thought you should know
I don’t think I’ll take you back
Cause my regrets hurt that bad

You are the air I breathe
& the water I drink
I mean you are my dreams
& all that makes me
Better yet my completion
My protection from regression
The smile I show
& the light of my soul
In a simplistic meaning
You can be called one thing
Because what you are to me they truly don’t see
That you, my boo, are “all the good in me”

i've seen your wings
i've witnessed your love
of you my heart sings
to be free like a dove

as i wholeheartedly gaze
at this dreamscape called love
the world couldn't change
my blessings from above

As a reborn young man
or an awakened sleeper
for you i will stand
protecting you from danger

as strong as i am
i'm nothing alone
the woman i have
is what make me whole

my family believes
your what's best for me
amongst other things
you've recreated me

in the past i've lied
and broke plenty of dreams
but this time i'll try
to make this dream gleam

(this poems out of context)
(sounds nothing like me)
(so let me take a rest)
(while you see what i see)

*deep breath
cleared thoughts
finish the rest
now what will be brought?

Okay...

back in the past
i just flirted with you
i didn't move fast
and i didn't get through

as time went by
you began to realize
you had caught my eye
but i took to much time

i got sent to a group home
and dreams of us died
as far as was known
that was our goodbye

the visits began
and our paths crossed again...
though i wasn't the same
i had the feelings from then

we walked to the store
i made small talk
conversation was a bore
and that was my fault

i had to ask you
and i'm happy i did
i hoped that from you
i'd hear what i did

upon one month
3 words were said
they really packed a punch
but they still play in my head

my response was the same
oh... and about that first kiss...
there's really nothing to say
except the feeling is missed

in the time i spend
away from you
weekly damages mend
at the sight of you

so what i'm trying to say
is you've rebuilt my spirit
you're my main thought day by day
it's just now that you hear it...

I love you

Tic… toc …Tic… toc… Tic… toc…
The rhythm of my heart’s been established…
As my mind synchronizes to the tempo of my emotions
My Symphony Of Emotion Begins…

Tic… toc …Tic… toc… Tic… toc…
Conducting this masterpiece is cautiously managed
Every belief has a unique impression
My Quartet of Passion Begins To Play

Tic… toc …Tic… toc… Tic… toc…
…The Tempo’s Slowing
Let’s Add a nice kick
Through Devotions Blowing

Tic… toc …Tic… toc… Tic… toc…
To Keep Our Place
The Vocals Of Love
Come Into Play

Tic… toc …Tic… toc… Tic… toc…
Keep the metronome’s Tempo
Move This Melody Forward
Before The tempo of the metronome slows down…

What good is a day when nothing goes right
When your hopes & prayer do nothing at all
The dreams & schemes in your mind run irrelevant
& the love from another seems nowhere near passionate

What good is a day of falsely proclaimed love
And those you had feelings for give purely faux hugs
As a kiss leads to pain & a heart drops cold
While a deceptive love is what’s plagued your soul

What good is a day when hope falls forlorn
And the happiness you knew has morphed into scorn
While confusion, disdain, & pain are abundant
And your rage fueled question is a silent “who done it”

Why live a day full of painful emotions
An Emotional stress that can shatter devotion
Darkness and hatred harboring a lie
As the mind opens up one wishes to die

What good is a day when it all falls amiss
When your thoughts are deceived as you prepare to run
In reality the truth to this problem is
The only things wrong are those you haven’t done

Inhale….
Take with this breath the people who you love
Exhale…
Release the problems that their putting on your heart
Inhale…
Picture yourself flying freely like a dove
Exhale…
And remove you’re thoughts of entrapment in the dark
Inhale…
Taking in all those you truly love
Exhale…
Free yourself from those who broke your heart
Inhale…
Taking in the warmth of lips touching while you hug…
Exhale…
Freeing thoughts of that one setting you down in the dark
Now Inhale…
Hold it… Hold it… Now Think…
“As I Exhale What Good Will be left here for me?”

I said I’ve moved on but maybe I haven’t
All the days from our past replay in my head when
I’m out in the world… or sheltered at home…
My feeling were real… this you had known…
But you broke me down with no second thought
It’s no wonder it's us who had never fought
My passionate kisses, your intimate touch
Make my days hard to live, but live I must
So as a heart falls asunder, thoughts fell askew
And all that I had was all that made you…

Yet between the silences my heart awoke
My placid mind forms rhetorical questions
To determine the meaning of the words we spoke

“…I love you…”

From you such a desired announcement
Fell flat like the plane of reality
When thrown against the intangibility of the unknown…

…and yet..
“I really loved you”

So as I gave my heart to you more with each passing day
You picked at it just to throw pieces away…
Now the pain I feel is more immense than you know
Sincea as each day goes by, I wish my memories would go…

“…but the pain is a reminder that I’m alive”

Because since that fateful day
You’d never guess I’d think I’m dead
As the incapacitating truth hit my heart…
…My nerve endings burnt out…
And my heart gave in to despair…

“But I Believe That You Will Be Fine”

Just as I believed that we’d work
But as I was once told the truth does hurt…
Accepting things the way they are is the only remedy
To redeem a lost soul from the emaciating pain

“…I miss you…”

Well if you did as you say you do
You’d seek me out…
And notice that the person I’ve become
Isn’t a person at all…
I’m a shade… no the Miasma…
Left from the dark in my heart
And the light of my love has disappeared…

“… You’ve Been In My Dreams…”

Do you know why?
Because I sure did…
The feelings I had
Weren’t that of a kid...
I loved you
And did what I did to prove it
But then again…
Girls want Men..
Not growing kids…
So the loss of me…
Will resound in your heart…
………
While you have your light…
I have my dark…
………

As I shadow the life
That I once lived
All the pain and strife
The things I did
All the times I lied
And things I hid
Are what changed my mind
To a mans from a kids

With a deceptive heart
You broke me down
Way back at the start
When I never frowned

You played the game
And faked the feeling
So I feel true pain
Since I was kneeling

I gave you 2 rings
And a love so true
Beyond material things
I gave my world to you

But by your decision
We split again
During a deep depression
I found “you won’t be missed”

So as time moves on
I will too
As I sing heavens’ songs
I see what I’ll do

During my time of change
You remain in the past
And after my hearts’ pain
I won’t come back

Your mistakes dictate your life
While my decisions form my heart
Your decisions are what broke your mind
My mistakes are freed me from the dark
You said love and wasted my time
I said love instead of playing smart
But my use of love put me in the light
While yours… heh…
Yours left you dead in the dark...

So as I start a new life
I leave you alone
All the pain, the strife
Left when I came home

Your heart may break
But that’s in your hands
there’s no more I can take
I can’t be your man

My heart was true
But your’s a lie
So whatever you do
You’re not in my life

So flee to him
Hide away in his arms
Or go to them
Your friends “they are”

no tears shed…
my eyes are dry
as I lay in y bed
you’re not on my mind

so leave it be
you’re not right for me
I regretfully free
My new nothing…

I am what I am
An infectious spirit
Like the black widows’ venom
I will stun your senses
At the sound of my voice
The whole process begins
No matter your choice
You will give in
Try as you may
The venom is active
The contagions’ set in
The defenses cave in
Corrosion’s just happened
Within a few moments
You’re entranced by the
Virulent Being
Meaning the makings of me

I am “Shard The Virulent"
With a little piece of me
Your life becomes mine
And the infection spreads on

what is love?
the soul of happiness
or the essence of pain

could it be fictitious?
created by the mind

but still...

The weight of love
against reality
is close to nothing

basically...

take your mind
add your heart
subtract a pain
add a smile
and try to balance the equation...

but i deter from my topic...

my postion's love not math

so basically

the balance of love
and life
wrong or right
fact or fiction

equates to be

inconclusive...

This thing is rare
in our mislead world...
everlasting imperfections...
hinder hopes forlorn...
while it all falls down...
People somewhere have faith...
that what they feel tomorrow
is the same as today...
For these are the lovers..
the hopeless romantics...
warriors of the heart...
the seekers of devotion...

I,
being of them,
have a powerful tale...
heartbreak and lust...
litter my trail...
leading to one day...
known as the present...
it's in...
while that's out...
my future's the now...

With a heart so tender...
and dreams so faint...
the emotions i speak...
should bare no weight...
but it's impossible...
that these things...
would be so hapless...
an emotional burial...
will never happen...

Assault...
Defense...
Protect...
What's left...
but one day soon...
what i've had
will have left...
from me
to be...
in another's life...

and what i'll be...
is what's by their side...

So I'll Fight...
Not Run...
I'll Wage War...
For Love...

Battered...
and Bruised...
I'll still receive my fate....

I'm tired of the fake
i want true...
and i'm tired of the same old
Red Vs blue
i'm tired of the blame
placed on me from you
And i'm tired
of the lost words "I Love You"

what's wrong in our world...
why can't just live the facts...
or follow the bible
and say "Jesus did all that!?"

since pride and prison
Run right along with popularity...
and fame and fortune...
all share fate...

a death in the end
not form natural causes
stress and losaes
bulk up and nothing softens

I am more than you know...
but a little less than perceived...
i've shadowed a soul
and feigned what's seen
the manifestation of blessings
is a pain in me...
but my heart's prayer
is truly believed...

As i enter this day...
i've got my mind set...
the death of my soul....
will be the growth of what's left...
reality...hmph...
i deny those thoughts...
as my tongue rolls
my battle's pre foguht....

The day progresses on
my feet grow cold...
as fear sets in
the cold takes hold
dragging this frost onward
i approach my world...
admonishments abound
as she breaks me heart...

shocked by her speech....
in my heart i decide...
suicide of myself
it what must be done....
as i surrender to darkness
flame burns within...
and just like that...
i'm reborn again

standing tall and strong...
looking out at his world....
i approach and reach for her...
a prayer to christ
for all he's done....
he killed me off as a child
a made a man from a son....

with my world at hand...
forward we will press
battle onward for love
not a deceptive glory....

I’m a poet by nature
And all that I do
It may put me in danger
But that’s what I do
I write from inside
I prey on my mind
My thoughts have to die
To express what I hide
Impassionate words
Unrehearsed lyrics
My mind has been burned
These words mar my spirit
Like locusts over crops
Or a plague on humanity
Swiftly I drop
And resent all this harmony
I write from inside
At least I try to
My thoughts must die
So I can feel my cries too
For impassionate lyrics
And broken verses
Are all that I’ve written
And all that I’ve spoken

Poverty
Blurred Pigments of Red and blue
Bring to mind the police
Responding to our crises
Aptly and alert
Though upon arrival
It’s pure brutality…
They oppress and beat
Abuse and misuse
Break our spirits
Lowering us deeper into this
Depression…
No… it’s and economic Recession…
In which inequalities are abound
For the rich stay rich
While the poor fall hungry
And We…
The…
People….
Fall beyond Poverty…
Straight Through The misguided…
Rage of the government…
And Deeper than just a simple
Economic Inequality…

We’ve
Reached
The
Poverty Stricken
Greatest Recession….
Known As
A Secondary Great Depression….

I Am…
The future of humanity
And my words refute
Any doubts of this generation
As I stride
In pride
With my head held high
I refute darkened thoughts
And maniacal obsessions
For the obsessed
Will…
Never…
Prosper…
I am…
Empowered
Through me words
Although I’m in poverty…
My life won’t fail
It will out shine the sun….
Because my dreams are more…
Than the unfathomable
Vastness of Space…
My dreams make
space look tiny
Because
Faith…
Fueled…
Dreams…
Never Fail…

I Am…
A King…
A vision of Royalty
My Glow is incomparable
To that of the light…
I…
Being me…
For We…
Advance onwards
To a brighter future
For this world…
By reaching my dreams…
Just
Hold
Faith
In
Me

Look at me…
I’m a well of thought…
So deep
In the dark
it seems
I have no bottom
Fluid thoughts
Drawn from the aquifer
Of minds and people
All around

look at me
i'm growing
& blooming
my mind is
expansive
encompassing
the light
the dark
converting them
to energy
to fuel
my dreams
through
a process
called
"Photosynthesis"

i remember when I first hear her voice…
just that one simple word
“Hello”
And my mind became whole…
Filled with images of
Us walking hand in hand through the
Chaos wielding nothing to protect us
But the other’s smile…
As our voices reverb on the walls surrounding us
Returning the beauty back into the eyes
Of those entranced by the serenity
Caused just by her presence

I remember gazing into her eyes
And sharing the first kiss
While riding across the bridge
On that big cheese bus…
As my lips touched hers…
And our thoughts unified…
A rainbow of emotion
Shone into our lives…
And the passion forged then
Shall grow forevermore

I still dream
Of the vows
We spoke of making…
I to her
Her to i
Of eternal love
& pure devotion…
But the bond fell short
And the feelings fizzled out…
But I’m waiting for they day
They re-ensue

The time is now
Our bond’s re-forged…
I’ll have her back here in my heart…
As this plethora of
Prismatic…
Emotions eminates outwards
All that’s left here is
A flower blooming
within

I am... something more than nothing...
nothing less than anything...
looking for a heart to dwell with...
a place where i have purpose... fruitless & forlorgn...
i wander blindly... with my cane of hopes...
and seamless desires...
tapping every surface listening for the stir of echoes...
hoping the reverb from one is what i seek...


i am... blinded by the lies...
and false proclamations... that love is real...
and looking back at me...
as though the one i seek has been here always...
and i know she hasn't or else she would have assisted me...
a blind man... in crossing this road to eternity...


i am... forsaken... repetitively... continuously...
by this entity known as love... looking at my thoughts...
invisioning what true beauty must look like...
holding it's mirror of forlorn hopes...
as it falls becoming shattered dreams...


i am... lost... in this darkness... for i lost my sight...
to the smiles of false love...
and shards of promises thrown in my face...
you are the reason i'm blinded...
all the things you bombarded me with to my face....
and knives you've jabbed into my back...
the pain you caused burnt out the sensory nerves in my eyes...
and no amount of surgery can repair the damage you've caused...


i
am
incomplete
What
Is
A
Man?
Without
His
Senses
???­
Nothing

Power
i brandish it so beautifully
just as a name was bestowed upon by birth
this power was given to me by
my powerful grasp over this simple language

twisting definitions
into the churning souls
of my innermost thoughts
to unleash a potpourri of imagery
meant to dazzle and fluster ones mind

like water from a faucet
new uses for common words
run from my mind...
to my pen... to my paper
at a rate considered impossible

for even a supercomputer
can't comprehend things
at the rate
by which i create tem

my careening mind frame
caught in an updraft of simplistic thought
adapted and integrated
the simplicity of your worlds...
to create the complexity of mine!!

There is Power in my words
oh how i love these adjectives & verbs
my adoration of this language
rooted deeply in fables..
and mystic lore

set in place long before
my great great grandmother was named...

Weaving the lyrics of my mind
into a tangible form
something verbal and legible
that touches the heart...

Concocting experiments
to combine the English language
with the literary elements of old...

Praying that i add
the correct amounts
of this and that
so the resulting bond
of Chemicals
Eradicates your mind
leaving a ravaged wasteland
of thought


I am Astral
these words are my Pulse
bearing to you my Genetic Code

O Lord... here i go again...

These poetic rootz
shine through so beautifully
unveiling the fathomless depths
of this mess
i call a brain
no...
a mindframe...
intensely irrate
and predictable
the dismissable
truth of the lies
in my mind
runs blank
against the grays
going daily
from they're lips
through my ears
to my fears
showing nothing...

But a fearless
fathomless...
painless
blameless
remission
of my life...

Refrain from reading those lines...
this here is the truth of this mind

An admission of sins...
and faults...
the fears of my timeless
realm known as my mind...
Lonliness lead to the tears
and shattered dreams
of this forlorn heart...

Sadness caused this endlessly
reforming wound...
This bleeding ****
spilling my innermost emotions
out onto the floor
Before the world

.....Yet this is only the beginning of my plight....