As darkest night seizes light of day,
a soft breeze whispers
to me through the trees
As I lay here on the cold harsh ground the concrete is my pillow
in which I lay my weary head ever so aware of the slightest sound
as blackness lingers all around me judgment once clouded
but now my mind is bright and clear,
thinking back to days of old
so much I did fear and a single tear dose fall as I'm chained to
this ******* wall for the rest of my days to remind me of a pain so strong
what did we hope to gain by drudging up past blames we both made
loves been broken now pains my token I've paid my dues as darkness
falls upon me and entered to raid my soul words unspoken
my heart is broken and turned to ice
no fire can ever melt body,
soul and mind tattered a lifetime of dreams shattered
I sit here in this dungeon you put me in over thinking
my mind bludgeoned when once deceived you feel your heart may
never be retrieved from the blackness that has taken over
and you are shaken to your very core by a pain so strong
all in life is wrong and in my head plays the saddest song
I longed for a love so divine for one I could call mine
and in a fleeting moment you realize you will never be fine again
everything was a fabricated fantasy a deluded truth for me to
believe a love that strong and true is real
it dose not exist
dreaming of it makes your insides blue a dark hue surrounds me
as I sit confined behind these walls closing in on me
more and more each day I once thought if only I would pray
for you every night I'd be found and rescued
but to my dismay you did not come broken dreams it seems
all will remain the same just as yesterday and the day before
it tore at my being, now I'm seeing the truth
I will forever remain a prisoner in this cold dark dungeon
you put my heart in for an eternity
as I hear the sound of my breath leaving my body
and carried away on the wings of a dove in a lightly falling snow
at last I know my destiny

Another night with these thoughts, forgetting where my head is,
At times I lay and wonder "Where on Earth am I headin'?",
Lettin' myself think "What if I woke to be 8 again, back on the playground with a few mates again?",
If I could go back do you think I'ma change a thing?,
Changes ring in my pockets as I run around doing what you consider "the strangest things",
Yet I don't care what you strangers think,
Another night thinking about alien spaceships and how I might be something of a different kind,
I'm not an artificial intelligent but I know I've got a gifted mind,
"With great power comes great responsibility" and these powers I insist to find,
I also think "Wouldn't it be nice to have someone to hold right now?,
Get in bed and we both lie down",
Talking, cuddles and kisses 'til we fall asleep,
Oh wait, that's not a thought that's all a dream,
All I mean to say is there's more where that came from,
It's another night with these thoughts, lost in space so I guess my brain ain't home.

Wet Face Buried In the Pillow
At The lowest of the lowest

Couldn't prove them wrong
Couldn't make you proud
Couldn't make myself proud

Beginning to pick at my apperance
mentally loud
"Whats wrong with me"

Did what was expected of me and Failed
Weight of the world is on my shoulders

Feels like my heart is getting hammered through with nails
Hurt by EVERYTHING, Even the sky is turning gray

I prayed but the right knowledge
just never stayed

But on this note
things have to change

There's just some " Priorities" in life
that need to be re-arranged

It was another episode
Really coming from the bottom

Could I fall any deeper than this ?
*** those hardships ? I have em

To go from here
Things are coming that I cant even wrap my head around

But it's coming
i'll just sit here and listen to these surrounding sounds

All deceit and lies
the winds whistle blows,
time surely flies,
and only time knows.

Dreams live on they say,
but dreams will die if lost,
so find your happy times or they
are overgrown with moss.

I walk along these times to see
that everything I knew, is gone.
No longer is what I used to be,
no longer is, what I have known.

Children's laughter from far away,
what did time do to me?
I need to go but want to stay
and bring life to this old me.

Can you feel it
Inside?
Like a parasite
Eating
Away at your mind
Feeding
On raw emotions
Seeding
The doubt inside

It’s buried so deep inside it’s a part of you

Making you want to place the blade and lean on the ******* point

Growing, getting bigger, feeding the rage inside so all you want to do is ****

Prodding and bending your mind until it breaks, ******* help me  to get through this ******* stanza

I love to hate
Don’t you?
Everyone around
Not safe
For anyone to
Stay near
And hate to love
Even you

Some people think I’m just ranting

Personally, I’ve believe that they can’t reach the ******* point

No matter what I say or think I just cannot change the way I feel

I just want to hold you, kiss you, *******, break you, **** you until you lay in my arms all cold and dead

Whisper of a broken
Conscious seeing you
For what you are
Just meat for the grinder
Do you feel safe
Here beside me?
Or do you want
To run away
Screaming
Pleading
Begging
For your
Life

Every day I cut myself wide open,
just for you to reach inside
and help yourself to all I have to give.
you keep helping yourself, then you just complain,
that you didn't like  the way I put the razor to my skin.
You didn't like the way I spilled fresh blood all over your new clean floor.
So...what would you say?
If I just walked away,
would you just close your eyes,
sigh and follow the trail of blood
just to clean it up once again
as you never remember to appreciate those who give.
I can only take so much of your ungrateful ways, everything is never enough,
you cause these tears and draw more blood.