Friends are complicated
friends want to know everything
they are curious about
your test marks
your report card
who you like
your friends' secrets
who you hate
why do they have to do this
i mean don't they have a life?
blah blah blah
you know they say 'the cat died of curiosity'?
if my friends were cats they wouldn't have died of curiosity
they would've ****** the life out of me
until i gave up
and then they will rest
wow!!!
it's like they want to control every part of your life
and want an update once something interesting happens
they are so immature
if you don't tell them what they want to know
they will
bribe you
blackmail you
threaten to tell your other secrets
and even if that doesn't work
they do something unbelievably stupid
privacy is also a thing
and then suddenly they aren't your friends
but it's not your fault
if they want to act childish,fine
if they were your true friends
they would understand
and stop bugging you

At times the halls are really creepy
they are walked on by bizarre characters
who have completely lost it
gone cuckoo
they roam around like zombies
drooling on the floors
sometimes going rogue
bouncing of the walls
biting people
screaming
but then the authorities come
try to control it
and end up injecting them
with something that makes them sleep
to calm down
and change from their beastly forms into humans
crazy ones but at least they change
they are transferred from one room to another
those who have changed
into sane humans
are released in the world
but those who are not sane
will be imprisoned there for life
disappointing the halls
for they were tired of being drooled on
for being jumped and bled on
but at least the halls weren't in a school
in fact a mental hospital
but what's the difference
the children are insane in both of them
and end up driving the teachers crazy as well

I was sliding down the hill
it was very cold
i was gaining speed
slidin' to my death
faster and Faster
and FAster and FASter
and FASTer and FASTEr
and FASTER until
I was coming to a halt
i lost speed
and i went Slower and SLower
and SLOwer and SLOWer
and SLOWEr slow SLOWER
and then i flew
higher and higher and higher
until i reached heaven
and then i found a mountain
and then well you know the rest!

Sometimes i think
"why am i here?
what's my purpose?"
when i wake up in the mornings
there is this depressing feeling in me
makes me feel so shallow
meaningless
when i fail
when i stumble in life
I ask myself
"am i a failure?"
"do I even have a bright future?"
but that's wrong
i need to stay strong
and move on
correct my mistakes
achieve my goals
and stop having suicidal thoughts
even when i fail.

My life has been fun
it's been easy ,it's been tough
I've been always trying to please people
mainly in my school
but sometimes when I get the results
of pleasing them
and they aren't what I expected
It completely breaks my cycle
I'm not able to think or attempt properly
it's destroys my confidence
and
there is the crying feeling in me
like my soul is crying
screaming"WHAT DID I DO WRONG,WHAT DID I DO WRONG?"
and that depressing feeling becomes a guilty feeling
like a huge part of me is disappointed
which makes me feel worse
and to recover from that emotional wound
does take a lot of time
and when it does
i have already gotten my next results

People expect a lot
I,myself do
but most of the time I expect the best
from myself
I don't like putting up or displaying stuff that is average
that isn't excellent
but good
It's like saying"If I don't like it, I won't swallow"
and when because of the circumstances
If i do put up such kind of work,I'm not proud of it.
when i'm  assigned something
I take it seriously
I enjoy doing it
but when people expect a lot
they expect a lot from me
and I deliver
but sometimes because of the people i work with
We can't deliver perfection
maybe because of they don't want to do it
they want to get over with it
which ruins my name
smudges my reputation
I have seriously worked too hard to get on the top
and because of certain characters
I think,because of the comments we sometimes get
that it was my fault
I worry too much and I trust easily
but I don't let anyone take advantage of me
but because the people know this
they purposely don't do the work
and so that my reputation isn't ruined
I HAVE to do it
which is not fair
because in the end
if I get negative comments
then it's not worth it.

People take advantage of me
I don't think it's fair
I try not to let them
but
If I don't do the work
who will?
certainly not them
because of them
I only sleep 4 hours a day
and when the weekend comes
I'm extremely tired
but I still try to enjoy
going to my friend's party
going to watch a movie with my family
but I can't
I'm always planning stuff
planning my summer vacations
sometimes to weird places like
Nepal
Sri Lanka
Taipei
planning my future
where I'll study
where I'll live
what will I drive
how I'll contribute to the world
with all of this
i still make time to enjoy
study,achieve,have fun
and it's very tiring
I can't live like this
with the pain in my body
my legs,my feet,my head,my back
but so much time has passed
that I've gotten used to it
maybe because of my life
I sometimes think
"how it'd be great to live up to 150 years?"
maybe because I don't have time to  live my life now
and I'd live it when I'm older.

Right now i don't have time
to live life one step at a time.