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it’s still dark
i’m still crawling in the dark
friends come to give me lamp sometimes
books provide solitude when i need to rest
or when i need to forget the darkness
this specific type of darkness that i have not yet used to
but maybe soon
until that tidbit of true light comes
i’ll just have to wait
until i can see the end of this tunnel
i wasn’t aware
that a hollow figure
can still produce a genuine smiling face
thanks for making me smile, you guys
i’ll do my best to make you all smile as well
before, i don't have people to hold on to whenever i struggle with something
now, i have them
and i won't trade them for the world
i love you, you five
there’s nothing a β€œsorry” can change
if it’s just a mere word
kept explaining why we’re struggling already,
and still saying sorry but doing the same thing
why bother giving us birth then?
to just support you guys?
this is your responsibility in the first place.
i’m so tired.
i love how people with the same light
doesn't go blind with someone's light
like they love it more
and i wanna be surrounded by those kinds of people
all throughout my life
i have experienced darkness before

some darkness felt peaceful, that i can fall asleep
some darkness felt painful, that i nearly cut my bedsheets through my nails
some darkness felt sorrowful, that i feel like i have an infinite amount of tears i could produce
some darkness felt wrong, that i had been stuck in it for so long i forgot what is right
some darkness felt suffocating, that i barely remembered how to breathe

but the darkness that i'm most scared of
is the darkness of emptiness.
this darkness felt hollow,
i don't feel alive yet i'm moving
i don't feel anything, yet i'm strongly feeling everything
every agony, pain, joy, i feel them all strongly
yet i feel nothing at all
i feel like i want to scream, but there would be no sounds from within
i'm a ghost, in a human's body
and i don't know how long i'd be hollow.

this might be my silent call for help.
doves will fly again
they will freely go through the wind again
and until then,
let's do our best not to be hunted
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