I always made an effort To make everything perfect You sat alone Driving in your own zone Blocking my voice with your headphones Stripping skin off my bones Leaving me to freeze in the cold Helped me make my gravestone Controlled me like a clone Around you, I was never free I always loved you more Then you did me
I stand in the rain Watching fall slowly around me You open my locked heart with your key It seemed impossible Was I being too gullible I never know why But I complied No second thoughts clouding my mind I was blind You won me over too easy Around you, I felt tipsy. Maybe it was a mistake Guess we'll know when I awake
I wish we never have to say goodbye Because it's so right The way you smile at me Makes my life worthwhile I am wondering why There is always a spark in your eyes When you look my way As if I am the one thing that is making your day
I am a misfit Standing in a huge world Shut in a tiny cockpit Sinking in a tarpit No getting what I deserve I may be a reject Lacking a lot of respect I am only human Filled with confusion Living in an endless illusion
He's hurting He pushed me away I'm not sure what to say The fact that I cared Made him scared He won't even try All he said was goodbye I want to be there Run fingers through his hair I'm trying to let him go My heart says no The longer I stay The harder it is to walk away
He's hurting He pushed me away I'm not sure what to say The fact that I cared Made him scared He won't even try All he said was goodbye I want to be there Run fingers through his hair I'm trying to let him go My heart says no The longer I stay The harder it is to walk away
Standing trapped inside Your real smile makes me go wild Staring at it for a while Brings out my inner child I want to embrace you You say you are fine but I see right through Your smile is fake No one else can see it, that makes me ache Seeing you struggle with your heartbreak You always give but people just take Don't appreciate you for who you are Watching you bottle up your feelings in a jar I can not help you from the sidebar You say au revoir
I wish i'd smile I wish i'd not think of myself as an exile I wish i'd tell the truth I wish i'd embrace my youth I wish i'd be vulnerable I wish 'I'd be more predictable Because behind my steely eyes A darkness arises There's something I am yearning I am not nothing Something people don't bother learning But deep inside far in my mind The burden I carry weighs down on my soul Somewhere inside me, I know I will never feel whole I will feel the guilt, hurt and headaches But if try to erase those past mistakes I can learn to smile And it might take a while But I know I can somewhere inside
You haven't killed me But I cry Every night I'm only half alive I am so close to breaking You have taken everything I have nothing left You convinced me I am a deadly sin I will never be the same I guess that was your aim Broke me down shamelessly until I couldn't bear the pain Filled with nothing but shame Who's to blame You? Or me? Who followed you blindly
Can't you hear my screams Oh wait you put them on mute Thinking this just one of my reoccurring themes You just sit there and brute I go out in my costume Pretending to be what I am not She is okay, you just assume There is way more to my story than the plot In case you forget I am afraid to get caught In all those lies I bought So I sit here and rot With all of my thoughts I couldn't be more distraught Wishing it would all stop Somebody has to play cop Before it's too late and I drop
Run as far away as you can Before I leave you In a trance With no chance Hollow You will find it difficult to swallow Taste nothing but sorrow Broken Used you like a coupon Your happiness will be forgotten Run before all you can do is regret Blaming me for the neglect
Running away from who I am Keep on posting on Instagram Keeping up with social image Never exploring my limits Nobody should know I am a mess Everybody thinks I am #blessed I must confess Behind this made-up face and pretty dress I am distressed People think I have no problems Scrolling through and looking at all the models I have hit rock bottom Poisoning myself with these toxins It just makes me nauseous People just assume they know me They are obnoxious Guess I got to put my fake face on I am far gone Just a pawn In this huge game of never-ending chess Nevertheless I just have to keep on moving on Accepting I am the black swan I am the oppressed
People always say there is something wrong in my head I just lay awake wondering in my bed If they are right or wrong I guess I might never know But I will keep on singing my song Sitting by the fireplace and drinking my Bordeaux
One, Two, Three I try to believe Four, Five, Six There is nothing left to fix Seven, Eight, Nine No one left to confine Ten, Eleven, Twelve I can never delve
You walk around in your attire Igniting my desires Let me be its buyer I want you And I know you want me too Without you, I am feeling blue. Wanting to run into your arms What's the harm? You are scared of getting hurt Well so am I So let's put our differences aside And live in the moment Before it's too late And what we feel gets delete.
You're driving me crazy I like it like that Kissing my neck Your hands trailing down my back Lying in the sheets Hearing our hearts beat The night's bittersweet Being with you is a blessing Feeling as if I am in heaven Hope it is never ending But I know you have to leave At last, they all do Waiting for you come back The longer you are gone Quicker the world turns black Turns into Armageddon
I love it when you just don't care I love it when you kiss me like nobody's there When it gets hard You are never afraid You never care what society says I love it when you do what you want Even if they said no Even if later on They said I told you so Maybe you should have listened to them I hate that you just don't care You should have stopped kissing me right then and there When it gets hard You should be afraid You should care what society says Run away from me Run the other way I hate it when you do what you want Even if they said no Even if later on They said I told you so
I can not try I need to leave you behind I hope you can understand It is best for everyone if you just move on with your life Loving me is suicide Listen to the voices inside your mind What they are telling you is right Don't doubt Stuck in jail I am here to bail you out.
Sometimes I feel you are feeling the same But then you go and give me fix feelings What do you want from me When you stare into my eyes We feel a spark Then you go talk about other girls Pushing me into the dark I feel like I want to hurl But I smile and agree Acting as if I am happy I can not make a move What if you disapprove? What if I am just naive? What if you are just thirty? What if I am a mere nominee?
Life is game To win you must know how to play Breaking the rules is a recurring occurrence It is the only way to gain your insurance Those who play fair Try to give you their assurance But will be trapped forever in utter despair You can never win the game Without a sense of shame Without sharing the blame Without an indirect aim Cheating or not The outcome will always be the same
Painless sleep Is that too much to ask? I sit there weeping As I drew my bath. The water slipped through my fingers Like every compliment I got Drowned underneath me until I forgot.
Putting a smile on my face Thought I would get far Didn't know pretense was phase I was the complete and utter disgrace I faked it until I couldn't anymore I ran and slipped on the floor Saw all the gore Sun darkened leaving me blind Abandoned me Unlike all my crimes Voices in my head said I couldn't get away They were right Everything in black and grey
I hear the battle cry I look up at the baby blue sky Covering my ears with my hand Make it stop I demand I stumble to my knees Wanting you to hear me begging, please My silent cries echo in your head But you don't help You pronounce me as dead
You're like a cigarette One hit and I’m addicted Around you, I start losing my etiquettes My feelings are conflicted I try not to fall But I am slowly You make me feel I am an angel Without you, I turn lonely No matter how many people are around me I always crave your presence Without you, I am nobody Being near you is a blessing I have to stay far Or you will break my heart
Looking into the night Waiting for something mystical to occur Found myself holding my breath I spin around in a spur My eyes go all blear I can not see the truth What life holds for me Will I ever be able to
Somedays I just want to stand still Pop another pill Numb the continuous pain Dance in the rain Accept the fear Maybe even shed a tear Silent Voices Without any possible choices My lips are shut Another cut Scars may heal Doesn't make them any less real There is no hope I will always be restrained by ropes
I drift away slowly You can try to save me But you won't succeed I am too far gone Consumed by all the greed I can not turn my switch back on Embracing my darkness Watching the blood slip through my fingers My reputation has been tarnished Pulling all the triggers Laughing at all the pain Having no weakness Is the only way Why should I change What can I say I am deranged Am I being awful? No I am only normal Why? Because I am mortal
You twirl me around in your arms Lift me up in the sky Feeling so high You exceeded my expectations I didn't know about the consequences Like how broken I would feel When you left me The tears running down my face Becoming as fragile as a vase Every step I take Would remind me of all the memories I can never erase Even after all these years No matter how much you hurt me We can never become enemies No matter how much we argue I will always remain in love with you
Suddenly your name on my phone Doesn't make me smile anymore Brings back all the memories Of the pain and the hurt And how I am the one to blame You wanted to help I pushed you away Left you wondering why you ever called me babe I was the worst decision you could ever make The feelings of guilt I can never shake If only you hadn't jumped in front of that truck On the freeway If you didn't get in the way You wouldn't have to pay Forever on a holiday
Sitting in the bar just drinking Tired of waiting for someone who will never come My brain going overdrive rethinking I will never reach an outcome Throwing my glass at the wall Remembering how it feels to be small Thinking of where I went wrong Drowning all of my sorrows and mistakes Why do I have to be so fake Looking back and remembering how it feels to have a real smile Always acting as if I am on trial But I can not I am too scared Everything in my fantasy Just sitting by myself drinking Hennessy
Sitting in the bar just drinking Tired of waiting for someone who will never come My brain going overdrive rethinking I will never reach an outcome Throwing my glass at the wall Remembering how it feels to be small Thinking of where I went wrong Drowning all of my sorrows and mistakes Why do I have to be so fake Looking back and remembering how it feels to have a real smile Always acting as if I am on trial But I can not I am too scared Everything in my fantasy Just sitting by myself drinking Hennessy
Waiting for the time to pass me by Caught between all of my lies Can't give a single reason why Blinking tears from my eyes I love the night Everything will be alright It is the perfect time Seeing all white Not trying to fight Who gives a **** Unleashing who I really am Stopped acting as if I am in an exam No need to lie No need to deny I can fly If I only let go and say goodbye
Bullets pierce my heart ******* tightly by my arms Tape covering my lips Sawed in half by my lips Cuts covering my feet Wrapped in a black sheet My body is a cutting board My brain can not load Not processing any emotions Unshaken by motion Voices getting loud Not hearing coherent sounds How much more pain can I take Ignorance is a gain
Can I let go of my pride My fear of rejection Staying away from you is like only inhaling carbon dioxide Love spreading in my body becoming an infection The longer I stay away The closer I am drawn near You stay in my mind day by day When you're around there is nothing to fear I know you feel a connection I know there is a spark when we touch There is no objection I crave you so much Waiting for you to make the first move Time stands still when you walk in the room There is nothing you can improve Freed my heart from its tomb Kissing you slowly Tangled up in sheets Doing the unholy Embedded in my dreams
Falling apart Unable to pick up the pieces Of my broken heart Hearing the sirens of the police Running away Faster than a prey I can never commit More afraid than I like to admit
Baby, you want me out So you scream and shout Baby, you want me now So you dream and pout Make up your mind Knowing what you want isn't a crime At least don't string me along There's a half and half chance you will be wrong But if you pick right, we will be dancing in a song Going far into the beyond I just need a response I know it's scary to be strong If you fall We fall together Just give me a call Love like ours can not measure
You pushed me away You pulled me near I tried to pray No matter what I do I always felt the fear Always fell down the stairs I started running and running The world started to look less cunning Then all I saw was red I was free I was finally dead I was as happy as I could be That didn't last long You were way too strong You see I thought running was the answer I couldn't be any more wrong The thing is I did not know you were a necromancer
Climbing the mountain One step at a time Watching the fountain Bringing joy into everybody's lives I pick up the pace Thinking I could reach faster But it wasn't a race Only led to disaster Lost my footing The ground was pulling I was pushing Fell into the fountain Looked up and saw the mountain Drowning the happiness Absorbed all the emptiness Consumed by darkness
Reaching down inside of me Evaluating all my insecurities Judging myself every step of the way No matter how hard I tried I cannot run away I will always be a stray Never accepted in society Consuming me was all of my anxiety People thought my life was perfect If only they knew I am an addict
I watch you silently from the other side of the room Aching to come near you Stand by your side Hear what stories you are telling Those feelings, I denied I am a puppet on the string You might not know it But I am controlled by your every movement Your beauty is inhuman The way you stare into my eyes Chuckle at my jokes My stomach fills with butterflies Igniting my hopes I want to trail my hands down your body Hold you tight in my embrace When you ask me something, the only thing I can say is oui. Falling under your grace. You are the one I want to impress You are the one who makes me feel whole These feelings I cam not process You make me feel safe like home.
These are more than words on a page They are alive Holding my demons captive inside Unable to ever die They strive They thrive Makes my thoughts go into overdrive They will always survive Move and wither for attention Waiting to be mentioned Trapping me into another dimension I need an intervention
I lost my best friend the day I made that choice It's torture that she can't remember my voice All the pain I caused will always eat me up inside You were there for me Turned a blind eye on my flaws Followed all the law A strong sense of the cause I'll regret forever that I hurt you You held me together with your glue You always came through My decision is the reason you are gone And I wish you could hear this song Of the hurt, pain and the rain But maybe you, not remembering will be a gain
Watching him from afar Watching him smile burn brighter than a sun His laughs echoed down the empty walls Keeping me from having a great fall. He is making me hold on to my sanity Without him, I could be doing all sorts of profanities Wanting to trail my hands through his hair Reminds me of how I cant and the despair. He turns around to face me with his piercing stare I wish I could touch his face I swear All the hopes and dreams we could share So many words and gesture I can use to show him I care But I can not I am too scared Everything in my fantasy Just sitting by myself drinking Hennessy
My heart stops beating Words can't escape my mouth I stop dreaming and reminiscing Feeling myself drown Noises getting too loud I look down under me into the deep sea Waiting for somebody to notice my plea
Cross my heart Hope to die Soul's tearing apart People telling me I am the bad guy Pretending I am strong Acting as if I have no fears They all knew I was wrong They are lurking near Gripping me by the hair Pulling me under Come with us, they dare Doing their best to make me suffer I try to scream for help They silence me till death Not allowing me to even yelp I can feel their breath on my neck Their hands trailing down my body Picking apart my judgment Making me into their zombie Throwing me into their mental dungeon