My heart stops beating
Words can't escape my mouth
I stop dreaming and reminiscing
Feeling myself drown
Noises getting too loud
I look down under me into the deep sea
Waiting for somebody to notice my plea

I found myself gazing into those sea green eyes
Waiting to be baptized
At last, I was a sinner
Did not deserve any mercy
Cries echoed rumbling through me
Every time I hear it, I die slowly
Long and deary
The pain will go away I say to myself in a wary
It never did
Took away all of my glory

Looking into the night
Waiting for something mystical to occur
Found myself holding my breath
I spin around in a spur
My eyes go all blear
I can not see the truth
What life holds for me
Will I ever be able to

Looking inside a wishing well
Wishing that everything goes well
I wait for my wish to come true
I wasn't surprised when it didn't
It hardly comes through

My body is screaming out to me
No matter how much I hurt it
This has to be the end
But it tries to mend
An impossible task
I put on a mask
Waiting for my daily act
Set in stone in my contract

Reaching down inside of me
Evaluating all my insecurities
Judging myself every step of the way
No matter how hard I tried I cannot run away
I will always be a stray
Never accepted in society
Consuming me was all of my anxiety
People thought my life was perfect
If only they knew I am an addict

Putting a smile on my face
Thought I would get far
Didn't know pretense was phase
I was the complete and utter disgrace
I faked it until I couldn't anymore
I ran and slipped on the floor
Saw all the gore
Sun darkened leaving me blind
Abandoned me
Unlike all my crimes
Voices in my head said I couldn't get away
They were right
Everything in black and grey