Sitting in my chair
I start letting go that part me
Playing nervously with my hair
I can finally breathe
I was trapped inside
The web of lies I have woven.
I am finally but not completely free
My heart smiling slightly
The world looks a little bit brighter
I have proven myself to be a fighter
One day I will get the courage to end it all
Till then I will stand tall
Not taking the great fall
Stopped banging my head against the wall
Stopped guzzling the alcohol
Stopped feeling as if I got hit by a cannonball
Now I am sleeping at nightfall

My heart is imperfect
Full of holes and arms
That stretch out to others
In hopes of bonds
No two holes the same
No souls shaped alike
And only the right ones
May fill each hole right.
Relationships we build
Form the fabric of life
Loneliness in any form
Cuts sharp like the knife
To love is to know
To know is to hold
I will cherish those loved
Till all has grown old.

I just fall to my knees
Suffocating in all the *******
You injected in me
Poisoning my system
You built me my ultimate prison
I beg you to leave
Please allow me to breathe
Lying on the floor helpless
I can not even plead
I just bleed
Others stand watching as you slowly end me

I have hurt a lot of people
I did so even if I didn't mean too
Traveling up this steep hill
Pushing the rock up like Sisyphus
I may be a bully
I may act like a cold hearted *****
But that doesn't mean I feel the consequences of my actions
Passing my time with all the distractions
Avoiding my pay all my taxes
Trying to hide my true feelings
Acting all tough and unruly

I am paying for my crimes
Or am I?
Somebody please pay attention to my signs
I am crossing a line
Pretending to be fine
When I call, do not decline
I need someone to look at me as if I am a goldmine
Calling me like I am a hotline
Value me like a dollar sign
Not running away from me like I am a porcupine
Making me into their headline
I need someone to call me, mine
Do not make me say goodbye

I am a misfit
Standing in a huge world
Shut in a tiny cockpit
Sinking in a tarpit
No getting what I deserve
I may be a reject
Lacking a lot of respect
I am only human
Filled with confusion
Living in an endless illusion

Running away from who I am
Keep on posting on Instagram
Keeping up with social image
Never exploring my limits
Nobody should know I am a mess
Everybody thinks I am #blessed
I must confess
Behind this made-up face and pretty dress
I am distressed
People think I have no problems
Scrolling through and looking at all the models
I have hit rock bottom
Poisoning myself with these toxins
It just makes me nauseous
People just assume they know me
They are obnoxious
Guess I got to put my fake face on
I am far gone
Just a pawn
In this huge game of never-ending chess
Nevertheless
I just have to keep on moving on
Accepting I am the black swan
I am the oppressed