Block - unblock - block
Heart opened, heart shattered, heart locked.
Mind screaming, silent dreaming
Mind hushed, dreams rush.

It seems like you are playing musical chairs,
I am free of you, but when the music stops.
When the world grows silent,
You sit in my mind again.

Unblock and stare at the words proclaiming "online"
Curiosity crawling up my spine.
Wondering if you ever opened our chat and stared as well.

Block - unblock - block
Heart opened, heart shattered, heart locked.
Mind screaming, silent dreaming
Mind hushed, dreams rush.

Every time I see you
I feel we can start afresh, anew.
You smile, I smile.
We try to remain in denial.

We go on as just friends
We finally make amends
We pretend nothing happened.
Then something happens

My heart flutters,
But nothing can come of it,
So it shatters
I locked it again, but you are a skilled lockpick.

unblock - block - unblock
Heart opened, heart shattered, heart locked.
Mind screaming, silent dreaming
Mind hushed, dreams rush.

I wait for your message to arrive,
You're no longer blocked, you're alive.
But it never comes,
I become numb.

My dreams are black,
Because if I sleep too deep,
I might miss your message back.
The memories creep.

I can see them sneaking over the fence,
Maneuvering through every defense,
Until it stands like a shadow learing over my bed.
A demon stuck in my head.

Block - unblock - block
Heart opened, heart shattered, heart locked.
Mind screaming, silent dreaming
Mind hushed, dreams rush.

I am almost over you.
I have almost made it through
This tormented affair
This maze of dispair.

The memory of you no longer walks with me down the street,
I don't see you in the places we used to meet.
Your face doesn't burn in the back of my head,
But now you have crawled into my dreams instead.

My mind is working through the last bit,
But I am so exhausted.
So tired of fighting guilt and shame,
So tired of breaking all over again
Whenever I hear your name...

Block - delete number
Heart broken, heart shattered, but heart finally locked.
Mind screaming, but screaming a different song.
All of the dreams are finally gone.

It is over.

I never thought I would feel so alone
lying right next you.
I never thought you would complain and moan,
If I tried to kiss you.

I never pictured I'd feel so much pain,
While you are lying RIGHT there.
I never believed I would go insane,
because you wont hold me after I had a nightmare.

Late at night,
When the stars come out,
I get a huge fright,
Because I suddenly begin to doubt.

It is like I don't know you anymore.
You turn your back on me.
It hurts, it is so **** sore,
Becoming more and more unsteady.

If you think the cold night is dark,
just wait till you see inside.
You lie and break my heart.
Making me want to cry and hide.

Then when morning comes,
I put on a fake smile,
I watch you drive after the sun.
I try to maintain my denial.

But every night, oh so late,
the only thing keeping me company
is the demons I create,
and I let them live with me,

because when I'm scared
I don't feel the pain.
As long as the demons are there,
I never have to be alone again.

You tried planting seeds in my heart,
But somehow they landed in my lungs,
Although the blooming  flowers are a beautiful work of art,
I feel like I no longer can breathe, nor run.

I threw some seeds in your heart,
I watched as green spread from the seed,
But instead of the flower I expected,
There were stinging weeds.

I took a step closer,
To touch what I grew.
I expected something soft and tender,
But instead I was stung by you.

After collapsing one night,
When the flowers started killing me from within
I decided it's time to fight
I poored a bottle of herbicide down my throat.

Instead of killing the flowers,
It just made me numb,
It dripped from my throat to my heart
And turned me into this monster I've become.

It's killing me...
And you couldn't be bothered,
I'll never be the same
and you're frolicking in a garden filled with new flowers.

Close your eyes and feel the air,
it is filled with whispers.
The silent whispers of lovers,
speaking of life made simpler.

Close your eyes and breath it in,
the sweet tinge in the air,
of laughter and glee,
spilling over from a stranger somewhere.

Open your eyes and look at me,
see the ocean of love in my eyes,
staring back at you,
eyes that have been searching all their life.

The memories come and go in waves...
Sometimes I wish the tide will take me away...
But all it does is rock the boat.
Destroying any foundation keeping me afloat.



I wish I can forget,

this ocean of regret.

But no matter how hard I try,

the liquid leaks through every crack left unrecognized.



I rush, trying to patch up what remains,
but all this is done in vein.
My future slips through my fingers
as the past slips into present.

Even if I somehow stop every leak...

I can't remove the water already in me.

The weight slowly making me sink,



into the dark depths...

Lips pressed together to form an 'o'
Releasing a breath, ever so slow.
The air was caged in a soapy dome
Racing towards the neighbouring ozone

A warm breath fading into midnight blue.
Evicted air just trying to pass through.
The sky hurled tear drops down,
steering the troubled bubble into a ghost town.

Sneaking through a forgotten crack,
lost in a creaking wooden shack.
A little girl of two,
came skipping into the room.

She looked at the dislodged air,
as if it was a silent prayer.
She held out both of her little hands.
An oasis in this waste land.

Closer, warmer, safer, just don't rush
, but as soon as the little bubble touched
It was gone.
Seen by no one

The bitter breath finally free

I keep going to the places we used to go to...
Hoping that if I wait there long enough, you will show up again, like you did before.
I sit where we kissed, because the memories seem more real there...
Like a reflection on water...
But as soon as I touch it, the ripples warp the illusion and your smiling face is gone again.
I listen to a song I really hate over and over... Just because you loved it...
And somehow listening to it still makes me feel like we're sharing something special.
I look at our picture every day. The way you smiled made me feel like I was the most special girl in the world.
You smile like that in her photos now.

I'm glad you moved on, really I am...
I am glad that you found someone who sees a future with you.
I just wish I didn't have to lose you in the process.
And I wish I didn't have to become another story  of your past...

I feel like an old, fragile book
Falling apart... Flourished love fading from my spine.
Every pointless conversation with some pompous pretentious peacock leaving dark red circles on my pages.

I can feel myself tearing at the seams
Wind stealing the rustling pages of my dreams
All because you're not here

God might be the authentic, artistic author...

But you are the reader

your delicate eyes, woo each syllable.
You're the reason manicured, savage nails haven't been able to tear pages so feeble

You are not the writer... But the reason my story was written in the first place

You are the reader

Every swirl, curl and loop designed to carress your mind
Every drop of ink, perfectly shaded to match your eyes

You are the reader

The one who turns solemn pages into a fluttering melody
Giving the disarray of letters meaning

And I can't wait to feel your soft hands tracing my cracked spine
Your careful finger tips tracing every word and line.
I can't wait to behold you unfold every story untold.

I can't wait for you, to climb back into my world of words.

Because somehow you read this book,

When it ran out of prose, woes and poems.

even when it's left abandoned by fancy idioms and metaphors

Indescribable ink dancing no more.

You read this story... When all there was, was a blank, bland, bare block of white
Beckoning for you to complete it.

And when asked why...

You simply said , "because I am the reader"

It seems like he is my very heartbeat
The wind beneath my feet,
The air in my lungs,
The reason why every other relationship went wrong.

He is the reason why I fought on,
Why I spat out the pills and stayed strong.
He replaced every tear with laughter
Explained why I could not force my head to stay under the water.

He is so beautiful.

I have been fighting all my life,
Fighting the thoughts that cut my mind like a knife,
Like the knife, I used to decorate my body,
Thin red lines covering where a selfish monster once touched me.

But with him, it is like the battle is won,
Like the demons and monsters are gone.
With him I’m not scared half to death
Of the thoughts loose inside my head.

He is so wonderful.

He takes my breath away,
But I would choose empty lungs every day,
Because he fills them up with sighs of relief,
That spills over to my wide smile, stretching from cheek to cheek

He is the king of the hill,
He made the demons go still.
He showed me who I could be
Moreover, he reminded me…

That I am so beautiful… and I am so wonderful… I am worth the fight.

A drop of paint dived from a brush into the water.
The tear bursted and imploded,
creating clouds of color,
every cloud continuing to unfold.

Until the arbitrary colors gathered,
molding into the shape of hands.
Each finger transformed into a road,
on a map leading to far away lands

places to run away,
places to call home,
where there is no night or day
a place where anything can belong

but the drop didn't stop,
it kept running,
looking for a softer place to fall,
but the paint was quickly thinning

stretching beyond reach
tripping over molecules,
aiming for a glassy peak
before tumbling into inanimateness.

The drop didn't reach its goal.
The drop failed.
The drop should've stopped before it was too late.
Left with regret, because it was derailed.

It gave its all,
but it couldn't reach the peak...
But the artist was in awe,
So much so that the creator couldn't even speak.

The drop's "failure"
was her greatest masterpiece,
the last drop of paint she had,
has made her life's work complete.

The best kind of poetry,
is the kind that can speak
without a single word.

Even the constellations seem to compromise,
when you lose your spark,
recreating pictures of art,
to reignite your heart.

You were a wanderer,
but you still left your mark
Your life is a message;
that anyone can conquer the dark

Everything kept changing around you
no familiar faces left around
I can hear your voice through the crowd,
A lost voice crying to be found.

Then you looked at me,
like I was the light at the end of the tunnel
You ran towards me, I leaped into your arms
and you gave me a great big cuddle.

As I was held tightly in your arms,
the stars once more fell into place,
The fact that we have each other
is proof of God's amazing grace.

Built to be alone,
A missing puzzle piece
With no home.

Created to stand apart,
Like a bullseye,
but there aren't any darts.

Born to a different lifestock.
A black sheep,
Without a flock.

Pieced together perfectly,
A stained glass window,
placed where no one can see.

There is no place
on this planet
for someone with a sealed fate.

Hopeless romantic,
Doomed to be alone,
withering to manic.

All the world blind
One left behind
All against one.

Alone

I feel like I am looking at my life

Like it is inside a snow globe,

People flying and fluttering around me,

Unaware that they are in my world.



The whole world is moving,

But I am standing still.

I am in the middle of it,

Watching it flow and spill.



I am the centre,

But I am alone.

Set apart as some say,

But I long to be a clone.



I long to touch

I long to move,

I want to belong,

I want to love.



But all I can do,

Is watch and see.

How everyone dances

Around my glass figurine.



Holding the globe in my small hands,

Filled with chaos and silence.

Holding my world, my land.

This empty substance.



I wonder if someone else

Is looking down at me.

thinking that the crowd

makes the figurine look awfully lonely.

When I read what you write,
my heart yearns for your happiness.
For you to find your bride in white,
for your life to be less of a mess.

I pray for you to age with grace,
for your heart to flutter,
for you to fall asleep with a smile on your face,
content mumbles all your sleepy lips mutter.

While sitting outside,
I spend all of my shooting stars,
wishing you didn't have to hide
your broken heart and scars.

but if my prayers and wishes are denied,
I pray that you will lose your memory-
every tear you've ever cried
even if it means forgetting me.

All I want for you,
is to find the happiness you deserve.
I'll do whatever I have to do,
so you can finally find serenity on earth.

There falls no shadow where there shines no sun
The stars don't smile when the morning comes.
The burning daylight makes the darkness retreat,
But shade only exists once the light faces defeat

This is all good and well,
But there is a greater story to tell,
About the light and the dark
And how a void has a heart.

A love story older than earth,
The lovers turmoil suffered from birth.
How the light and dark yurned to be one,
But the sun can't shine once the night has come.

No happily ever after for black and white
As they dance side by side all day and night
Never leaving one another, they yearn to touch
Reaching and stretching, but not even a brush.

They were polar opposites,
But thrived due to their differences.
They brought out the best in each other,
But they remained cursed lovers.

Cursed to be on the brim of love,
No attempts to unite are enough.
Remaining too little or too much,
Never completed, their dreams crushed.

So they explore all the earth together,
Stuck in this tormented dance forever.
Maybe one day they will find a way
To become a passionate grey.