Sebastien

Sebastien May 2014

Your heart is big
its spreading
its powerful

Your charm is an even bigger device
it grapples onto people
it pulls them in

It has strength
You have power
but you have self-hatred
and your love is infectious
and people already like you
and i would rather not disturb that

I already did enough harm
don't want to start a wildfire
they are powerful too
but you are better
and will find someone
just as powerful as you

Written about a person, its love you could say, but its not. I am trying to not doing this again.

Sebastien Jan 2014

So ****** wrong

I am a ****** messed up person
I have weird things going around my body
EVERYTHING hurts

Sure,
midterms are coming up
I AM NOT IN MY NICHE
RIGHT NOW

THIS IS NOT ME
I have weird things
I want to talk about
I am just so embarrassed

Every waking moment
is hell
Every sleeping moment
is hell

So many things trigger
So many things hurt

I just told someone about my love for them
WHEN AM I PAYING ATTENTION?

Everything is wrong
nothing helps

I just want to melt in the shadows

die
die
*die

"Never push a loyal person to the point where they no longer care" - Anonymous

Sebastien Jan 2014

Dont want to anymore

I don't want to go through this nauseating pain again
its enough i have to deal with it more than once in a day
i just.
don't want to go through this...
...loneliness

Anything I do.
Anything I say
nothing makes sense
Not that it ever did
and
i have nothing

I am tired
but i cant sleep
I have to finish my work
but i cant,
because i am not good enough
I want to be a spark
but if i dont know if i will make it through this
how will i live
to see the day
my spark
works?

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh
so many thoughts
and yer i am going to be sharing this
what's with me

I am lazy, stupid
crazy
clumsy
can't think straight
can get distracted
headaches
this is too much

BUT i dont have a choice
I have to live like anyone else would
so be it then
i don't matter,
never did
never will

My apology to you was never accepted
hey, look
a trend!
I can't do a **** thing correctly.

You can try, and try and try and try
But nothing is in sight
so you give up.
I want to keep moving
but I am losing my own
motivation.

Sebastien Jan 2014

You know who we should ****?

Time.

We should take time down
because it hurts
being apart for a while
it hurts
trying to sleep with nightmares
it hurts
and they say time can heal
time.
is taking too long

i find it surreal now
does it really exist?
Or is it another illusion of man?

We should **** time
so we won't have time any more
We should.

Just cease to exist,
without time.

I am not fine, i have nightmares and cannot think straight. I have headaches. Pain, remorse, guilt, stress. Everything in one body. Hurts so bad to be unloved as well.

I am certainly out of my mind with my third poem, apologies. I am unwell right now..

Sebastien Dec 2013

WHY 10w

Hey,
I know your hate

Just...
Please forgive me,
*please

Another one..

Sebastien Dec 2013

Spend a night 10w

I want to spend time
with you
please,
I love you.

I feel a passion to love you again, I have nothing right now. No sanity or anything. Help Me by loving me. This is my first poem, so apologies if its not good..

— The End —