I run to the shore
I dance on the edge
My emotions are the white flecks
in a snow globe shaken
Aroused and beating
My heart is beating and big
Growing
ever growing
My roots are deep
And now my foliage will show
All that has healed in me
and everything that is yet to heal
Still
I stand still

I run to the waves
I ******* Brave
My courage
My love
I feel special
I feel a quiet gratitude
Gently pulsing within me.

Roses bloom under
A late summer moon glowing
I must understand.

Confusion is addicting
I devour metaphors and gulp down symbols
Forever attempting to conjure a path that is most fitting
To finally discover the key to that which fulfills

But I turn down wrong roads
Most times I find myself stranded
I have no chosen destination to which I set out to go
So I am as a vagabond haunted by the multitude of roads

I've sought a saviour
But I know I must save myself
A total overhaul of my behavior
Will guarantee the something else (I seek)

I've been running for so long
But now I have no other choice but to collapse
For I am no longer strong
All my youthful energy has been sapped

If only there was a way
I could know for sure
I just don't want to make a big mistake
One from which I could never turn back

But a silent whisper in my heart
Says these words to me
"There has to be a better way"
And for this way I pray.

The sky is a deep dark blue
Fading
The city twinkles in the distance
The water plays with the shore

I am so grateful

I arrive home
I take my dog out for a walk
I stop by my friends house
Where the bible study is held
A few friends remain
We laugh,
We love

I walk home
Beaming
Love pouring through me
Like an endless waterfall
I am full
I am loved
I am so happy.

The meadow glows with a soft ambivalence
The air is humming with the chattering of birds
They try to do their best to impress with nests of decadence
But eyes aware see through the facade
My heart dreamt of days when wounds will be shared
In circles of trust and love
To heal that which congeals, and blocks the flow of love

I spent some time to tread the earth as a sojourner,
I set out alone
Though I never felt lonesome
The world spoke to me,
The earth kept me company
Her symphony carries through the universe
I felt loved and warm
I felt found
Though some may have described me as lost.
I was so profoundly found
In the company of the earth.

At night I would travel to the silver moon
And dance upon her
I would see the world below me
Blue and green and beautiful
My heart felt like a treasure beating in my chest in that moment
There was so much to be grateful for,
And there always has been.

It's quiet
Slow like molasses
I hear the children in the background
and the church bells ringing
I love but I still hurt,
this low hollow ache of undigested agony
I covered it with a smile
but it still overcomes me
I am like an ocean
Typically calm and serene
with little bursts of waves
touching people's feet
But storms come unexpectedly
a turbulence that I don't think I can withstand
I am like a light house
standing strong
on the rocky ground
As violent waves crash over me
It's quiet now
But the waves ache deep within
I'm wary of awakening them
And waking my self up to my unease
I just don't want to think anymore
Because I'm scared of crashing down
Just need to listen now
and try to love
despite my wounds.

Look at me
Don't turn away
Look into my eyes boy
And don't let yours stray
My eyes will tell you everything,
But I know that's not okay

I understand
That sometimes people make decisions
Without a clear plan
And so things get jumbled
And things become unclear
Like you're not sure where you're going
You don't know who to love
But it's all okay for now,
I guess
Life is just a wave
For us to ride

And yet I still yearn
For our eyes to meet
The way they once did
Last year
But you turned your face away
You disappeared
I'll never truly understand
Why you did

I know you want to look
But now you only glance
You can't reconcile your desires with your shoulds,
You can't abandon your social expectations
For a dream come true.