Eight years ago today
We hung out for the first time

We cut school-- tenth grade
We walked up the hill into the village

We got big slices of pizza
Then went to the bookstore

You were quiet, I was unsure of what to say but still talked
I said you were a good listener

You walked me home
We hugged and you said: "I'm gonna miss you"

I walked inside
I felt so happy.

i appreciate the ache
that comes from
a long day of walking in the sun

like a keepsake
is the joy tucked in my heart
after a day of choosing to smile
and laughing on purpose

some days i feel so connected
so entwined
with everyone and everything
i feel the joy swell through me
and produce love and peace in me

my mind and heart becomes as tranquil as a babe coddled in maternal arms
i rest in this eternal love

i love the ache
of a body well lived
and well loved.

viridescent vines
cloud my view
of the horizon awaiting me

i'm making my way through
a victorian garden
the fragrance of the many flowers
puts me under a spell

i fall down a winding spiral
and plummet deep in to my heart
it is dark,
within each beat silence reverberates

i'm drinking rosehip tea
it's so pink
rose petals float on top
steam rises to kiss my lips

should i continue to repeat the same mistake?
or take the road less travelled by my heart?
i'll have to venture beyond my habitual vices
i'll have to step out beyond the known

stick my thumb out into the galaxy
catch a ride to my next divine destination
i'll laugh every step of the way
and be okay with the oblivion that saturates my mind
i'll learn to live through my heart,
whole and complete,
spreading love.

wrap your hands,
grab it and hold tight
lavender silk
enveloping all of you
--sigh

release
lavender silk
drop into
the clouds

dreams
of iridescent skies
fantasize
with open eyes

float along
on the divine river
it will take you
where you need to be.

difficult, melancholy, putrid
rotting, decaying in your attic of secrets
you don't have to die here
see, the sun is finally peaking through
through blue green leaves
are you blind to the beauty surrounding you?
hold on,
let me shock you back to life,
count with me,
1, 2, 3
no, don't go toward the light
hold on with that breath,
there you go,
now exhale,
okay, woah
that was close
your tears are clouding your vision
all you can see is night
i beg you to see day,
please see day
see the beauty of life,
but you refuse,
and you tuck your heart away
under a cloak of unfeeling
it's the only way you know how to cope
with this brutiful experience of living.

(brutiful-- brutal and beautiful)

I've been down a long time
I've had a sad song singing in my heart
It all started long ago,
With my life spinning down a drain
It's hard sometimes
To feel misunderstood
And full of pain

I guess there's a grain of joy though
When your idols come crashing down
You're empty enough
To have the void filled with God
Because really it's only Her who can replenish
And heal you,
Without further hurting you

Maybe there's overwhelming evidence that you're not loved
But that's a falsehood,
Trust me, it's not true
Everything on this big blue earth
Is a testament of God's love for you.

They called you Luna back in the day
You peppered the night air
With grace and great joy
You whispered secrets into ears
And danced in the sand
You loved with a full heart
And drifted away when it was your time to go

In life you're always learning,
You're always growing
You're correcting your soul
And trying to excavate your burning desire
You've known sadness
And that's why you fight
To know joy again

You were once called Luna,
But now you're more like the Sun
Like a burning flame
Your flame had once become very low
But you've taught it how to grow
By being true to yourself

This evolution of your soul is a journey
But have hope, darling
Tend to yourself gently
And multiply your love
And you will grow
You will flourish,
You will thrive
And oneday,
You will look into your very own eyes,
And smile your genuine smile
Of your childhood self
Trust me,
You'll see
You'll have become the person you were always meant to be.