It is 4 a.m. in the morning,
At peculiar little moments,
For no exact reason,
Sometimes I absorb a moment best that I can
And ask myself,
Will I ever remember this?
I usually never do,
The only memory I have of those moments
Is asking myself if I will remember
Maybe this is why I write,
So even if daily life makes me forget,
Capturing in detail the moments most significant to me
Will make them immune to the natural decay of memory

So, now,
I wonder
If the pitter patter of this night's summer rain
Will stay as a happy memory in my brain,
Or by tomorrow, wash away
There is no way to know
I just have to feel this moment,
And let everything go...
Let everything flow~

It's August now
I think of how
Everything goes too quickly,
Swiftly,
Like soft sand running through my fingers,
Sand dollars, Maine
First thinking of sand,
But now I'm a child again,
Visiting Maine
With my parents
The sea smells fresh,
Lobster,
Maine is known for it's lobster
You dip lobster in butter,
Because that's how it's eaten, Violet
I bought a souvenir for my Mother
Took a boat to see the whales
But they decided not to show up
I remember seeing a cute boy on the boat,
I imagined what it would be like if he was my boyfriend,
I was probably eight
Everything in childhood
Could never have prepared me for
Being a teenager
And becoming an adult
Childhood was so, so
Innocent
I knew of pain,
But I hadn't yet been wrecked by pain,
I was merely an observer at that point,
But things change when you take pain personally,
But pain is not personal
So, ultimately, it's our choice to either remain in the ruins of the wreckage, wallowing over our losses,
Or pick ourselves up, glean the lessons and rebuild our life,
Integrating both the pain and joy of our life within the new building blocks

So, as this summer rain falls
As it has before,
For over twenty years,
As long as I've lived
I let this time pass with ease
I ask myself if I will remember,
And I probably won't
But what's most important is that I love to my fullest capacity
Within every single forgettable moment.

Lord, with what care hast Thou begirt us round!
Parents first season us; then schoolmasters
Deliver us to laws;—they send us bound
To rules of reason, holy messengers,
Pulpits and Sundays, sorrow ******* sin,
Afflictions sorted, anguish of all sizes,
Fine nets and stratagems to catch us in,
Bibles laid open, millions of surprises,
Blessings beforehand, ties of gratefulness,
The sound of glory ringing in our ears;
Without, our shame; within, our consciences;
Angels and grace, eternal hopes and fears:
Yet all these fences and their whole array
One cunning *****-sin blows quite away.

Naturally it is night.
Under the overturned lute with its
One string I am going my way
Which has a strange sound.

This way the dust, that way the dust.
I listen to both sides
But I keep right on.
I remember the leaves sitting in judgment
And then winter.

I remember the rain with its bundle of roads.
The rain taking all its roads.
Nowhere.

Young as I am, old as I am,

I forget tomorrow, the blind man.
I forget the life among the buried windows.
The eyes in the curtains.
The wall
Growing through the immortelles.
I forget silence
The owner of the smile.

This must be what I wanted to be doing,
Walking at night between the two deserts,
Singing.

     'A little bird I am,
Shut from the fields of air,
And in my cage I sit and sing
To Him who placed me there:
Well pleased a prisoner to be,
Because, my God, it pleases Thee!

'Naught have I else to do;
I sing the whole day long;
And He whom most I love to please
Doth listen to my song,
He caught and bound my wandering wing,
But still He bends to hear me sing.'

This is what I want,
I want a love just like a fire
Profuse with passion and desire
I want a colorful, vibrant love
Granting me permission
To be beautiful,
Full of wild ambition
I need him
To embrace me like
A vine embraces a trellis,
Without choking me,
Or limiting me
I need to maintain my autonomy
I need sweet lips I can kiss,
That I will never grow tired of
I need a soul
To serve as my companion
For the endless adventures
I dream up
I need a rebel,
To push me past my limits
I need a nonconformist,
To **** the rules with me
I need a wild soul,
Just like me..