River

River Nov 2015

Just my cup of tea

My hair dancing with the breeze

My heart exploding with love and kindness

A clear blue sky

Beheld in my eyes

Tears of joy stream down my cheeks

Years of misery washed away on a desolate beach

The bad memories have sunk to the bottom of the ocean

Lifeless and without motion

The children and the trees

The melody in the breeze

How everything is so serene

And my mind feels ever so clean

I can lean into darkness while showering myself with light

Everything is alright, the beauty is so ubiquitous I'm blind

Love has no sense of time.

River Nov 2015

Love Letter to a Friend

Dear Friend,

When will I see you again?

I heard that life's unfair

That the one you share your heart with has become ensnared

I'm writing you to tell you, it's OK to be scared

And I really, really care

I'll always be there.

Sincerely,
Your Friend

River Nov 2015

Untitled

This is interesting
My heart is writhing
I desire to see him
But the thought of that being a reality makes me depressed
This clearly doesn't make sense
I think my anxious mind needs some rest

In his presence
I cannot breath
And yet, I do not want to leave
If a smile is all we exchange
I spend the rest of the day in a happiness I cannot explain

I soak in a bath of self imposed pain
And I very well think this negativity is vain
When he beholds me in his eyes I hope I seem sane
His merely speaking my name
Makes me fall a part
And I have to pick myself up in shame
I just cannot explain...

It's like dying and being reborn
Like being an exploding star
Cascading neuropeptides dancing with my human heart
Signals like fireworks go off in my brain
When he's near
And he can't hear the craziness going on inside,
but I still fear

about a crush

River Nov 2015

What is the truth?

But who am I
A teardrop traveling from my eye
As I witness the pain
and the truth in the lie

I want to sit all day and wrap myself within beautiful lies
And watch the sunrise
The truth makes me feel bare and scared
I couldn't manage it; I bar my ears from hearing truth
When it touches my ears, I just feel so confused

I've searched up and down and all around for this thing people call The Truth
Magnifier in hand like a sleuth
But it still eludes me, like it does everyone else
The world is moving and living
But I don't think I want to be apart of it...
Because the more I hear about what truth means to others
The more confused I become
I just want to meet someone with answers
This search deprives my life of fun!

With all this uprooting tradition and reasoning and overturning superstition and dogma,
The meaning that has imbued my life has waned
I'm a lost traveler searching for truth and a clear cut purpose.

River Nov 2015

Everything Is Light

Everything is light
Everything is life
Everything is right

Every turn
Every scripture
Every scorn
Every rupture
Can't hurt you
Eternally nestled within the cradle of Divinity
Endless, abounding safety

I see God in everyone's eyes
Even in the glaring hateful stare of my enemy
I see a friend to me
Life has no limits
We are boundless
One day to leave the body,
To expand our Spirit.

I can hear it
The secrets of the Mother Earth
The more you quiet your individuality
The more you can hear the Truth of reality

All previous ******* has been obliterated
Within this flesh I have been designated
Assigned a human obligation
Bound by flesh and it's desires
To spread the teachings
That God lies dormant within us
And when awakened, is far reaching

Insecurity used to take hold of my body
And forecast my every move, thought, and inclination
I existed within a constant state of deprivation
In life I did not participate for hesitation
I missed countless celebrations
Because I searched for external celebrations
Fabricated Happiness
But I always turned up empty handed
And sorely lost
Until Spirit, surely, but slowly
Led me to open my inner eye
And I started to experience great celebrations within myself
When I gave up searching,
When I gave up my identity
Surrendered my desires
And practiced detachment

Either sprawled out, limbs outstretched
Or sitting upright in a meditation pose
Surrendering to the Divine
Allowing dogma to flow away from you
Making your body the church, the temple
Which Spirit and light can fill
All worries melt away
As once again,
You recognize your origins.

River Oct 2015

Good Times

Instead of hiding and numbing
I decided to engage
Sure, it's scary,
intimidating,
Vulnerable
But I rather engage with my heart beating rapidly and vibrantly
Than sit back in the sidelines
Making opinionated observations
As an excuse not to engage
So bring the good times,
Bring the storms
I want everything
I come unarmed.

River Oct 2015

The Boxer

The boxer has so much rage
Pacing to and fro in within the safety of a cage
She is bright, mighty and powerful on the stage
Where all wild inclinations can be un-caged

Her brain burns violent red
Her anger originates from her head
In the grasp of aimlessness she lay in her bed
In the grasp of torture she wishes to have her pain bled

Maybe if she could see pain in her opponents eyes
She would understand why
We all have this inclination to fight
Why we become ruthless and inhumane through the darkness of our life

If she caused someone else to bleed
Maybe she could conceive the victory
With her punches--In making someone small
With her kicks--In making someone fall

Being kicked down, beat, and unwanted
Is all she ever knew from birth to now
She just needed to understand her existence somehow
Picking fights on the street isn't allowed
So she chose to fight an opponent for a crowd.