Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
ChildofGodyay Nov 2018
it's not very long you know...
if you really think about it.
thinking you are still young but you are halfway around the clock.
whatever you do, its recorded.
whatever you do, it matters.
you are just passing by.
just a mist, you are gonna fade away and die.
your life compared to eternity, your life is just a tick on the clock, just a breath breathed, a mist blown.
you can't get them back.
you can't earn some more.
you can't ask time to slow down.
if it's gone, it's gone.
if it's wasted, it's wasted.
you know that...right?


(Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. - James 4:14)
well, start by loving, forgiving that someone you have held a grudge against, or maybe really saying "i love you'' to someone. Money? it won't last. Those Gucci bags and Ferrari wont last either. But of course, not saying its bad to have them or work hard for money, just...dont do it the wrong way....

anyways, hope yall have a blessed week ahead, spend your time wisely!
ChildofGodyay Oct 2018
Letter to the devil, and the pains of this world.

Dear devil,

How you doin with the fact you have already lost?
How you doin with the urgency of Jesus' second coming soon?

Just to remind you, you already lost, and, do I have to remind your suffering in the fiery lake of fire and sulphur...forever? Ye...I don't think so.

Depression, stop hanging on to them, stop hanging on to me! Stop pestering the children of God, and just stop blinding them of the light of the Joy of Christ. Stop it! You somewhat comforting and soothing feeling, yet is the sharp sword that really kills...

Anxiety, stop making me stop in my tracks and feel like a failure, stop making me stop in my tracks on doing God's will and plan for my life. Stop dragging me down.

For the pains and diseases in the world, you would never stop them from being loved by God. Never ever.

Final note: God rules, God wins, God is in control, God is the Most high, Most pwerful, All mighty, Holy Holy Holy, the Holy one, worthy of all praise and glory and whole-hearted sincere love and trust and obedience. You are not, devil.

Sincerely and truthfully,
The one you tried to hurt and pull down.
Ye, back off devil, God already won.
ChildofGodyay  Oct 2018
Hi me.
ChildofGodyay Oct 2018
It seems, your tears filled up your bowl.
It seems, that, your mouth, your teeth, they chewed till they were sweets.
It seems that, your....
I can't do it.
Couldn't sympathise so well.
I am confused, and I am so broken.
I am breaking. I feel so dead.
I feel like, I...I can't...do that...or this...or them...
I have so many things.
"I am holding on..too tightly to certain things..."
I am scared and frightend.
I am lost. Feel forgotten.
I can't seem to breathe.
I am so tired.
Of....me.
Of myself.
This body, this heart, my enemies. .
Oh, how I hope I can be separated from them.
I didn't get enough sleep last night again.
I didn't....
I cant.
My fingers they are sliding across the keyboard, just trying to catch up the wild thoughts of my mind, and I stop, broken.
I want to rest, but I would be lazy.
I want to stop and think, but that's just procrastinating.
I....
I can't.


Sorry, 12258
Sorry God.
Sorry Mother and Father.
Sorry sister.
Sorry. To myself.

"Congrats you failed. Yes you."
I said.
Pointing to the mirror.
Just my thoughts sometimes.
When I lose sight of God...but...just...so confused and lost.
ChildofGodyay  Oct 2018
Ready
ChildofGodyay Oct 2018
Under your loving hands, like an infant, I rest, protected in hand.
Under the vast emptiness and dullness of the galaxy, your light shines, your robe, O so white!
SO glorious your face, your presence!

Your presence, it caresses me, with just a little bit more, I would have been crushed and would have been drowned under my own tears and would have dented the marble floor with certain and whole-hearted knees.

How marvelous is that cross...a word won't fit it.
That cross...if only words, dots, dashes, and punctuation can have more to offer. An endless murky drowning sea of words of different fonts and sizes won't quite make the mark.

You made my mouth like a sharpened sword. Ready to fight for your name, ready to stand my ground, ready to make the darkness fear and make fallen angels regret their mistakes. They already are.
ready to open hearts and minds, as you call many to you.

You make me like a polished arrow. Ready to go wherever you shoot me, ready to tear down what the devil has built. Ready to have your word, the gospel tied to me, as I fly through the spiritual realm and spread your word, the gospel. Simply the gospel. NOTHING MORE NOTHING LESS.

You hid me in the shadow of your hand. You cover me. You protect me. You hide me even if it seemed like all eyes were on me. Maybe they are on you. I want to be more like you in image O LORD.  

You concealed me in your quiver, God USE me!!! IF only words quite make sounds of hunger and thirst and the cries of my spirit and my new heart to you! You polished me and I am ready.
Ready whenever you say its time to go, or then I have to stand strong. Ready whenever, wherever, however you call me.

You polished me.
I am sharpened.
I am a polished arrow and have a sharpened mouth.
"Okay LORD GOD, I am ready."
USEEEE MEEEE AHHHH I WANT TO TRULY SINCERELY, WHOLEHEARTEDLY LOVEEEE YOU AND TRUST YOUOUOUOUOU AN TRULY HUNGER AND THIRST FOR YOU!!!!
ChildofGodyay  Dec 2018
:)
ChildofGodyay Dec 2018
:)
i didn't know why i felt dark as i dwelled in the light.
i mean, everything is fine, going well, all swell,
and yet i felt dark and well....left in darkness.
wishing i was dead, crying in the silence of the night at 1am, i was hoping someone could hear my chocked cries.
.
but then.
you reminded me you are real.
you have always been.
you opened my eyes, you opened my wrinkled hands.
you've held my heart close to yours.
your light shines true.
your love, grace, mercy, kindness rings true.
and maybe i don't know why i feel the way i do, the way my mind is wired.
but you say your plans are good.
your plans would not harm me but give me a hope and a future.
you will be my light, my strength, my hope.

and i will shine your light on other people too.
i will do my best.
heyyy, so urm, God has really been so real. So i was in this period of time in my life that i was just so down, and sometimes i still am, but God kept on and keeps on reminding me that he is close, that he is real, so many times i wanted to **** myself, but by his amazing grace, AMAZING GRACE, LOVE i am safe.
he truly changed me and he loves you too :)
accept him, he wants to have a personal relationship with you...
you can message me to i guess know more if you are curious about Jesus and the Bible :)))) i will try my best to answer you :)
ChildofGodyay  Oct 2018
nothing.
ChildofGodyay Oct 2018
spilled some tea.
i spilled some tea.
tapped my foot on the murky seas.
with long, sword-like trees, avoiding the stomps of my feet.

money.
i need to raise money.
trying to make it up for the spilled tea.
and all the knives i shot.

sticks and stone can break my bones
and words can cut and **** with knives,
but nothing is gonna stop me.

nothing.
a bit vague and needs more editing but mehhh
ChildofGodyay Sep 2018
no, i dont need the fancy lights and studio lights.
no, i dont need the cheering crowd, the rushing sound, bursting loud.
no, i dont need the big halls, and palace *****, and studded jewels and rings.
no, i dont need people with the same beliefs.
no, i dont need a cheerful heart or a forced one.
no, i dont need a perfect home or a  have to have  ice cream every day at home.
no, i dont need a brain of intelligence or the wisdom of an owl
no, i dont need to frost the broken heart, or to force myself to light up a broken heart.

to praise the King.

He makes my heart light up.
He is where i want to be with.
His presence is better than being a heir to an earthly throne.
He is willing to be with me when I am lonely.
He is all I need.
Amen!!!! haha you guys should listen to Tori Kelly's new album! the messages of each song is so amazing! God bless all of yall!
ChildofGodyay Jan 25
how?
how do you love us crawling creatures?
destined to burn in hell.
why do you love us when we hated you?
how did you love ungrateful brats like us?
how did you have the love to send your own? very own Son, your only Son, to die for us?
when our fingers could trigger guns and it kills.
when our mouths and tongues, we choose to spell death...
when our backs we choose to turn away from you.

how...can it be?
that a KING would die for ME.
that he will die for a killer, abuser, liar, blasphemer, ungrateful creatures, ***** thinkers, lovers of darkness, a deceiver, a pretense, a past-tense, an empty shell.
you filled me up.

we have the capacity, to be worse than a meer ******.
****** would look like a drummer boy.
how evil is our *****, twisted, darkened, chained-up hearts?
how deceitful are its slippery jaws of blackened teeth dripping with death?

the pride made our eyes puffed up with fat.
unable to see the net we set up in front of ourselves.
how foolish.
how proud.
we think we deserve even a life.
we don't

if you see the sin in yourself?
you would agree.

yet.
YET.
The Father
sent
his
One
and
Only
Son
To Die
For
Me
and
You

He REPLACED your place on that cross, on that grave, on the day, on that cursed tree.
it was supposed to be you and me.
he died for me and you when it is that we should be the ones dying.

open up your eyes!
open up your hearts!
open up your hearts!
open up your eyes!
open up your ears and hear!
open up your hearts and receive Him!!!

i have seen dead shells come to life and are filled!
i have seen blind eyes filled with the shimmering of life!
i have seen hardened hearts change!
i have seen the wonderful bundles of life he creates in the wombs of mothers!
i have seen the dead turned to life
i have seen his glory.
i have felt his presence.
He is so real...
i couldn't deny it.
believe it.

He is calling for you
inviting you in
its your choice to let him in or not...
Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
-John 14:6

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was with God in the beginning. 3 Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. 4 In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. 5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome[a] it.
John 1:1-5

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2 because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you[a] free from the law of sin and death. 3 For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh,[b] God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering.[c] And so he condemned sin in the flesh, 4 in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.

5 Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. 6 The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. 7 The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. 8 Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God.

9 You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ. 10 But if Christ is in you, then even though your body is subject to death because of sin, the Spirit gives life[d] because of righteousness. 11 And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of[e] his Spirit who lives in you.

12 Therefore, brothers and sisters, we have an obligation—but it is not to the flesh, to live according to it. 13 For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live.

14 For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. 15 The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship.[f] And by him we cry, “Abba,[g] Father.” 16 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. 17 Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

Present Suffering and Future Glory
18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. 19 For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. 20 For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope 21 that[h] the creation itself will be liberated from its ******* to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.

22 We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23 Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. 27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[i] have been called according to his purpose. 29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. 30 And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

More Than Conquerors
31 What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33 Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34 Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written:

“For your sake we face death all day long;
    we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”[j]
37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[k] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
-Romans 8

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes[a] so that it will be even more fruitful. 3 You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4 Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
-John 15:1-4

Then Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.
- John 6:35

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 12:1-2

For there is one God and one mediator between God and mankind, the man Christ Jesus,
- 1 Timothy 2:5

16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. 18 Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son.
-John 3:16-18
chook chook chook.
The eager devouring and tearing of scissors.
Snapping away existence.

Hooked on the killer music, encouraging loathing, affectionate for what is affectionless.

you have been passionate for a knife.
a lie a disguise
deceptions

sweetly disguised.

so...sweet
your eyes are lamps, tempted into the night.
away from the

light.

the crumbling of the purpose you were made for.

the snapping of your identity.
so eagerly ignored.

snip snip snip
goes the facts of love.
goes the truth that's

smacked right in

your face.

Bald spots laid bare.
for the evil one to be there, to take you away,

to take you there.

to where

your death is every few forevers.
and where suicide is no longer an option.

why was it an option.
the night skies were your dreamt of destination.

A compromise, a quick route.
comfort is what you want, and you find it in

death?

It's not too late.
the hair is cut off but at least you still have a head.

Its not too late.
For you to say

"Lord Jesus, forgive me my sins this very moment."

This very moment
Jesus has forgiven you.
God loves you, even when you don't feel like you are.
ChildofGodyay Jan 22
prickles and thorns,
sticks and stones,
brains and maggots,
all limp and cold,
a little darkness here and there,
a little pain will do it right.

bowl cracked and torn,
cursed and wrong,
only beautiful with intricate patterns and bright colors and filters but with musical scores gone wrong.  

click click liked,
swipe swipe left or right,
drinking nights,
they've seen them all.

is it fun to feed the darkness?
is it fun to feed the pain?
or the anger or the malice or the judgment or the cane?
maybe, the flesh seeks for the pleasure of the wrong kind,
the wrong sign, the evil one loves his daily dose of darkness.
he doesn't want you to draw the line for the things that are wrong.
he wants you to sing his wicked songs.

when you surround yourself with darkness how "sweet" the sound of his teeth crunching, munching on the juicy contents of your choice.
"great choice of food"
here's is his preferences,
instead of light and life,
put darkness and death,
instead of joy, maybe a bit of despair,
instead of full dependence on God, maybe just an "eh I am near there"
instead of choosing to choose Him instead of them, just choose them,
those who love evil and eats its fruit, those who love to dwell in darkness, in the woods, those who feed their darkness....in vain.....

the darkness you surround yourself with will mold you,
the pain you keep feeding will just grow within you,
if you keep feeding yourself with darkness you won't feel very good, won't you?
Jesus is the light, Jesus is life, His Word is light, His Word is life, and it is my guide, i choose Him.
i know it is sometimes easier to choose the dark but it will never be worth it, never worth the wait, never worth the suffering.
in Jesus, the suffering, the pain is worth it, in Him i have life!
life like none other, filled with purpose and light!
i feel so free! feel like i could take flight!
i am truly free in Christ Jesus!
i am truly in peace in Christ Jesus!
i am joyful in Him!

Jesus i love you,
i want to love you, more than the heavens or the stars,
more than anything or anyone in the world,
i want to love you with all of my heart, all of my soul, and with all of my might.
on your wings, i will take flight.
i have fed that evil before, but i have learned not to now :)
hehehhehheheheheehheehheheehheehhe probably incomplete but yee will be keeping alll you guys in prayer! if you have any prayer request, you could tell me :)
expectations crowded my mind in the days when my desperation was sorta high.
it felt like i fitted in with the rest, fitted into their league of rash lovers and surface swimmers.

it started with a "had enough."
which led to me having to rush and led to my second decision and then it hit me ******* me but yet so soft and subtle--it seemed to be.  

bothering and confusing, assumptions were made.
And they tormented me yesterday and the day before, and the day before....it nearly got me today.

i saw _ again and i chose to shut my eyes, just not completely, i chose to slip by but not ignoring the fact that i knew _ saw me at the corners of _ eye.
i didn't even wave goodbye or smiled a "hi".

sigh, how could i forget, the making of a moon?
a laughter that made me cringe and sin,
a memory that never seems to fade away, a lasting portrait still swings in my mind today.
only when i see _
.

if i don't know i have let _ down already, when _ expected a nicely wrapped gift from me.
my heart and my chest was tied tightly together, and i seem to be unable to breathe, and i seem to pause           only to know that i am sinking in, bre e e eeeeeeeee a t hing in.

i place them into
                               your hands,
                                                      i do not know what will happen, but i am rest assured in your plans.
i pray and hope that you dont have a lot of stress and for your safety!! And happy chinese new year to my fellow friends!! God has been faithful!! PRAISE THE LORD!! God has plans for me, and he knows them through and through.
moving.
the plates are moving.
signal's crashing, vision blurring.
chaotic.
storms are brewing, storms are spilling.
spilled.
blood splattered, tears weeped, guns fired.

money's killing, topping the wanted charts.
beware of her kiss as well, she'll steal your heart.
your soul.

money's killing, topping your wish list.
beware of her kiss, she's got you already.

metal clashing, heart's stop pumping, babies crying, airplanes crashing, guns been fired, words been said, scars are made, empty shells claim the result.
if I said it all, time will run out.

rest in peace.
you've seen them ripping through graveyards and movie screens.
rest in peace.

what if I told you that you can rest in peace now?
living.
where chaos are still present but you have an ever-present help.
where problems are still lurking but then you have a rock to stand upon.

A Cornerstone.

where you are not dead anymore but living.
not an empty shell anymore,

walking on dead-filled streets.
warning: a high concentration of dead in the bloodstream.

but a divine exchange changed It all.
a divine exchange between mortal and God.
a divine exchange between life through death and through the love of God.
a divine exchange from us, to Jesus.
God's divine plane.

good news: eternal life is bubbling inside you.
when you receive him, accept him.

why hesitate?
why doubt this divine love?
this love is greater than all others, believe me.

believe Him.

you might have wronged him, hated him, spat at him and mocked him.
but he died knowing all that, he died knowing that that is going to happen to him, and yet.
He died for you and me, rose to life to be glorified as God, as our eternal and glorious King.
A King unlike any other.
true peace is found in him alone and no one else. Jesus Christ of Nazareth.
ChildofGodyay  Oct 2018
shoulders
ChildofGodyay Oct 2018
tears like bullets scarred the floors
and the floors were made of gold.
the couch was soaked in tears and i could see my fears.

i didn't know I had claws for fingers and ice for my skin.
and confusion became more familiar to me.
and sin drowned me still.

but when all seemed lost.
and when the noise seems to **** me within,
i....hear...you.

i looked beneath me and saw large,  large shoulders, far and wide.
shining with glorious white.
the oceans below was more treacherous than my rivers.
and the fire burned more than the voices in my head.

Lord, you carried me.
through and through.
on your shoulders....
black and blue
inspired by the song of the same name by 'for KING AND COUNTRY.'
Next page