AND NOW THE RELATIONSHIP CRISIS FORECAST ISSUED BY THE SANE SIDE OF YOUR SELF ON BEHALF OF THE MERRY TIME & KEEP YOUR GUARD UP AGENCY.
The general synopsis at mid-life is:
Late 40’s
dogged by blighted love life
new all time low
expected by that time.
new all time low
expected by that time.
***
occasionally very poor at first
becoming
moderate or good.
F**k all
(hand over fist)
******.
Marriage 3 or 4
becoming a bore.
Blonde mantrap
34-24-34.
**** Mrs. Fitzroy
(formerly Finisterre)
affair deepening rapidly
expected imminent.
Getting carried away
hoisted by one’s own petard.
Chances it will work out alright
moderate becoming decreasing slight.
Fair Isle sweater left
carelessly behind in car
Eh...uh uh!
Big mistake.
Violent storm warning
boyfriend built like Viking.
Gulp...not Dover Wight!
Becoming cyclonic
...moronic.
Severe icing.
Oh *****! Despair. Panic. Flight
What more could go wrong?
Chelsea 2 West Ham 1!
Town gossip Lundy Fastnet
informs wife.
Accused of infidelities
backing off into continual lying
veering towards disbelief
clothes thrown out in street.
Locks. Changed.
Caught fast in net
like trashing fish.
Future visibility
moderate becoming poor
in showers.
Drunk. Again.
Singing in the rain.
What’s it all about
...Alfie
AND NOW THE RELATIONSHIP CRISIS FORECAST ISSUED BY THE SANE SIDE OF YOUR SELF ON BEHALF OF THE MERRY TIME & KEEP YOUR GUARD UP AGENCY.
The general synopsis at mid-life is:
Late 40’s
dogged by blighted love life
new all time low
expected by that time.
new all time low
expected by that time.
***
occasionally very poor at first
becoming
moderate or good.
**** all
(hand over fist)
******.
Marriage 3 or 4
becoming a bore.
Blonde mantrap
34-24-34.
**** Mrs. Fitzroy
(formerly Finisterre)
affair deepening rapidly
expected imminent.
Getting carried away
hoisted by one’s own petard.
Chances it will work out alright
moderate becoming decreasing slight.
Fair Isle sweater left
carelessly behind in car
Eh...uh uh!
Big mistake.
Violent storm warning
boyfriend built like Viking.
Gulp...not Dover Wight!
Becoming cyclonic
...moronic.
Severe icing.
Oh *****! Despair. Panic. Flight
What more could go wrong?
Chelsea 2 West Ham 1!
Town gossip Lundy Fastnet
informs wife.
Accused of infidelities
backing off into continual lying
veering towards disbelief
clothes thrown out in street.
Locks. Changed.
Caught fast in net
like trashing fish.
Future visibility
moderate becoming poor
in showers.
Drunk. Again.
Singing in the rain.
What’s it all about
...Alfie
*******
THE SHIPPING FORECAST...
An aural nautical weather map of an imaginary cut-up sea where the naming enters our nation’s consciousness....becomes part of the British psyche through its radio recitation... a litany... a rosary...mantra... a prayer of various here and theres that can only be imagined.
An oral/aural concrete poetry whose art belongs to Dada... an incantation of sounds and places only imagined...well known unique distinctive soundings and their hypnotic reassuringly ritualistic resonant repetition which is held in the greatest affection...mesmerically obscure...soothingly safe...strangely comforting...a litany of waves coming across the airwaves like a lullaby or a wartime coded message or Cocteau’s Orphée trying to decode death on the radio.
As iconic as the tube map with its elegant geometry of twisted coloured lines...it has become part of our mental landscape that our senses seek out as being quintessentially British.
It scans...it’s got rhythm...who could ask for anything more.
Something rich...and strange.
*******
Especially in its bedtime for Britain broadcast with us all drifting off to the strains of Ronald Binge’s SAILING BY(also the writer of ELIZABETHEAN SERENADE) as we sip our coca...lock the back door...put the milk bottles out and try to persuade the cat to come in as the day is put to bed and finally laid to rest at precisely 00: 48
And now the Shipping Forecast issued by the Met Office, on behalf of the Maritime and Coastguard Agency, at 1625 utc on Monday 31 May 2010 for the period 1800 utc Monday 31 May to 1800 utc Tuesday 01 June 2010.
The general synopsis at midday:
It is read out on Radio 4 at 0048,0520,1201 and 1754 (local time) . All broadcasts are on LW on 1515m (198 kHz) and some transmissions are on VHF. It gives a summary of gale warnings in force, a general synopsis and area forecasts for specified sea areas around the UK. The radio bulletin also includes the coastal weather reports (0048 and 0536 only) .
The music played before the Shipping Forecast is 'Sailing By' composed by Ronald Binge.
The mystical marine areas are as follows:
VIKING NORTH UTSIRE SOUTH UTSIRE
FORTIES CROMARTY FORTH
TYNE DOGGER FISHER GERMAN BIGHT
HUMBER THAMES DOVER WIGHT
PORTLAND PLYMOUTH BISCAY TRAFALGAR
FITZROY(FORMERLY FINISTERRE)
SOLE LUNDY FASTNET
IRISH SEA SHANNON ROCKALL MALIN HEBRIDES
BAILEY FAIR ISLE FAEROES
SOUTHEAST ICELANDetry whose art belongs to Dada... an incantation of sounds and places only imagined...well known unique distinctive soundings and their hypnotic reassuringly ritualistic resonant repetition which is held in the greatest affection...mesmerically obscure...soothingly safe...strangely comforting...a litany of waves coming across the airwaves like a lullaby or a wartime coded message or Cocteau’s Orphée trying to decode death on the radio.
As iconic as the tube map with its elegant geometry of twisted coloured lines...it has become part of our mental landscape that our senses seek out as being quintessentially British.
It scans...it’s got rhythm...who could ask for anything more.
Something rich...and strange.
*******
Especially in its bedtime for Britain broadcast with us all drifting off to the strains of Ronald Binge’s SAILING BY(also the writer of ELIZABETHEAN SERENADE) as we sip our coca...lock the back door...put the milk bottles out and try to persuade the cat to come in as the day is put to bed and finally laid to rest at precisely 00: 48
And now the Shipping Forecast issued by the Met Office, on behalf of the Maritime and Coastguard Agency, at 1625 utc on Monday 31 May 2010 for the period 1800 utc Monday 31 May to 1800 utc Tuesday 01 June 2010.
The general synopsis at midday:
It is read out on Radio 4 at 0048,0520,1201 and 1754 (local time) . All broadcasts are on LW on 1515m (198 kHz) and some transmissions are on VHF. It gives a summary of gale warnings in force, a general synopsis and area forecasts for specified sea areas around the UK. The radio bulletin also includes the coastal weather reports (0048 and 0536 only) .
The music played before the Shipping Forecast is 'Sailing By' composed by Ronald Binge.
The mystical marine areas are as follows:
VIKING NORTH UTSIRE SOUTH UTSIRE
FORTIES CROMARTY FORTH
TYNE DOGGER FISHER GERMAN BIGHT
HUMBER THAMES DOVER WIGHT
PORTLAND PLYMOUTH BISCAY TRAFALGAR
FITZROY(FORMERLY FINISTERRE)
SOLE LUNDY FASTNET
IRISH SEA SHANNON ROCKALL MALIN HEBRIDES
BAILEY FAIR ISLE FAEROES
SOUTHEAST ICELAND