Im terrified of COPD
But still smoke ciggarettes like a well used chimney
Soot building up the ashes unswept
Making it to 60, probably not a safe bet.
Drinking at altitude to catch me a better buzz
Fly fish for escape from grey matter fuzz.
If everything i built came tumbling down id stand on the rubble, three feet taller and proud.
Im better at descruction self disgused as help
A parking garage where a coffee shop stood, this is progress I yell.
This is self induced stolkhome im over exposed. The apture is broken light is burning my bones.
So Paint a picture with my ashes gradients of grey
Reimagine what i am instead seeing the self hate,
And ill thank you. For all the help and the memories
But nothings really changed and ill burn the photographs and ask

Remember these?