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Bipolar Hypocrite Dec 2014
Patched Quilt
Bipolar Hypocrite
Dec 2014
I held up that grand quilt in my tiny hands, thoughts rushing past my mind.
That denim piece splattered with red paint,
ah, remember when you wore that for the first time as you picked carrots with Dad?
That cotton piece filled with a vibrant orange,
how could you forget? That was the dress you wore to your first ever play recital.
That baby pink rayon piece,
you wore that on the first day of high school, you could not forget.
That grey wool piece,
that was your Christmas present, and you wore it near the fire. You spilled hot coco on it.
That rare purple leather,
that is too important to forget. Remember, it was the jacket you wore on you first date.
That blue flannel piece,
you loved that one. You wore it all the time, ever since the first time you wore it when you won “best speaker” at a school competition.
That brown cupro piece,
you wore that to your mother's birthday, the one where she got promoted to L.A.
That green polyester piece,
never can forget, could you? That was the shirt you wore when Dad and Mom divorced.
That white lyocell piece,
you wore it at your graduation party, and your whole family was there.
That barkcloth piece,
it was a day to remember, you united with you brother once again in that dress.
That calico piece,
you wore that to the hospital when Granddad got a heart attack.
That black and white damask piece,
that was so beautiful, so you kept it for your dinner. Which you hadn't realized was your engagement dinner with your boyfriend.
That red gingham piece,
wow, that was the time you met your dad's girlfriend. And Mom had not moved on.
That black lace piece,
a day never to forget. It was the funeral of your Granddad’s, and that was the dress you wore.
That grey gauze piece,
it was the shawl you wore when you visited your grandma, and found out she was ill of depression.
That amazing white gazar piece,
a memorable day. It was the dress you wore to you wedding.
That turquoise silk piece,
too soon after your wedding. It was the part of the purse you took to your Grandma's funeral. *
That white and blue jacquard fabric,
that was the fabric you had for your curtains, when you moved into your own house.
That leopard print intarsia piece,
it was an amazing day. Your mother visited you the first time in your new home. The both of you cried with the rain pouring outside. Nothing could have ruined that beautiful moment together, united.
That satin cobalt blue piece,
that dress you wore to the dinner with your parents and husband. Only to later realize that you brother had met with an accident.
That exotic lantana piece,
you remember, don't you? You wore that dress when you met your brother days later, severely hurt.
That red lace piece,
you went to London with your husband wearing that. You were so excited.
That madras piece,
it came from that cushion out of the four your husband bought you.
That cream organdy piece,
your mother had found it in her closet, a dress from her mother's, and wanted to give it to you.
That deep purple paisley piece,
you wore that on the day your mother died.*
And like that, all the thoughts came back to me. All the pieces of my past, fit in together. But it never made sense – that was how my life worked. And there were more pieces, more parts, to fit together, until my life was spread out in front of me. Like a patched quilt.
That denim piece splattered with red paint,
ah, remember when you wore that for the first time as you picked carrots with Dad?
That cotton piece filled with a vibrant orange,
how could you forget? That was the dress you wore to your first ever play recital.
That baby pink rayon piece,
you wore that on the first day of high school, you could not forget.
That grey wool piece,
that was your Christmas present, and you wore it near the fire. You spilled hot coco on it.
That rare purple leather,
that is too important to forget. Remember, it was the jacket you wore on you first date.
That blue flannel piece,
you loved that one. You wore it all the time, ever since the first time you wore it when you won “best speaker” at a school competition.
That brown cupro piece,
you wore that to your mother's birthday, the one where she got promoted to L.A.
That green polyester piece,
never can forget, could you? That was the shirt you wore when Dad and Mom divorced.
That white lyocell piece,
you wore it at your graduation party, and your whole family was there.
That barkcloth piece,
it was a day to remember, you united with you brother once again in that dress.
That calico piece,
you wore that to the hospital when Granddad got a heart attack.
That black and white damask piece,
that was so beautiful, so you kept it for your dinner. Which you hadn't realized was your engagement dinner with your boyfriend.
That red gingham piece,
wow, that was the time you met your dad's girlfriend. And Mom had not moved on.
That black lace piece,
a day never to forget. It was the funeral of your Granddad’s, and that was the dress you wore.
That grey gauze piece,
it was the shawl you wore when you visited your grandma, and found out she was ill of depression.
That amazing white gazar piece,
a memorable day. It was the dress you wore to you wedding.
That turquoise silk piece,
too soon after your wedding. It was the part of the purse you took to your Grandma's funeral. *
That white and blue jacquard fabric,
that was the fabric you had for your curtains, when you moved into your own house.
That leopard print intarsia piece,
it was an amazing day. Your mother visited you the first time in your new home. The both of you cried with the rain pouring outside. Nothing could have ruined that beautiful moment together, united.
That satin cobalt blue piece,
that dress you wore to the dinner with your parents and husband. Only to later realize that you brother had met with an accident.
That exotic lantana piece,
you remember, don't you? You wore that dress when you met your brother days later, severely hurt.
That red lace piece,
you went to London with your husband wearing that. You were so excited.
That madras piece,
it came from that cushion out of the four your husband bought you.
That cream organdy piece,
your mother had found it in her closet, a dress from her mother's, and wanted to give it to you.
That deep purple paisley piece,
you wore that on the day your mother died.*
And like that, all the thoughts came back to me. All the pieces of my past, fit in together. But it never made sense – that was how my life worked. And there were more pieces, more parts, to fit together, until my life was spread out in front of me. Like a patched quilt.
Patches are like memories.
Someday Jun 2023
The Devil drives a red Škoda
Someday
Jun 2023
I caught a glimpse of the Devil today -
He wore a man's clothes
And he wore a man's skin
And he drove you home
Where I cannot reach,
Where I can't save you,
Where it's his domain
I caught a glimpse of the Devil today -
He wore a man's clothes
And he wore a man's skin
And he drove the car from your garage
By the house he built
That you cannot escape
I caught a glimpse of the Devil today -
He wore a man's clothes
And he wore a man's skin
And I wonder if I'd caught a glimpse of his face,
Would I have been present enough to leave?
I caught a glimpse of the Devil today -
He wore a man's clothes
And he wore a man's skin
And I felt the temptation Eve must have felt,
He tempted me to walk up to his car
And to wrap my hands around his throat,
Even though I know he could strike me dead,
I'd rather take death than leave his sins unsaid
I caught a glimpse of the Devil today -
He wore a man's clothes
And he wore a man's skin
And he wants to pretend
He's holy among men,
But I know he's rotten
And he's cruel and merciless
I caught a glimpse of the Devil today -
He wore a man's clothes
And he wore a man's skin
And I had been warned
To leave him alone,
But my fists run cold
When I hear his name
And he dares me to punch
And he dares me to bite,
Knowing he's got the upper hand
In every fight,
Knowing long as you're there
By his wretched side
None of my words can leave my mouth
I caught a glimpse of the Devil today -
He wore a man's clothes
And he wore a man's skin
And he drove you home to his domain
Where the walls are covered
With coats of pain
And peace is unknown
And love is rationed
And the windows are barred,
But nothing ever happened
I caught a glimpse of the Devil today -
He wore a man's clothes
And he wore a man's skin
And he proved to me
We're already in Hell
The moment you first spoke his name
He wore a man's clothes
And he wore a man's skin
And he drove you home
Where I cannot reach,
Where I can't save you,
Where it's his domain
I caught a glimpse of the Devil today -
He wore a man's clothes
And he wore a man's skin
And he drove the car from your garage
By the house he built
That you cannot escape
I caught a glimpse of the Devil today -
He wore a man's clothes
And he wore a man's skin
And I wonder if I'd caught a glimpse of his face,
Would I have been present enough to leave?
I caught a glimpse of the Devil today -
He wore a man's clothes
And he wore a man's skin
And I felt the temptation Eve must have felt,
He tempted me to walk up to his car
And to wrap my hands around his throat,
Even though I know he could strike me dead,
I'd rather take death than leave his sins unsaid
I caught a glimpse of the Devil today -
He wore a man's clothes
And he wore a man's skin
And he wants to pretend
He's holy among men,
But I know he's rotten
And he's cruel and merciless
I caught a glimpse of the Devil today -
He wore a man's clothes
And he wore a man's skin
And I had been warned
To leave him alone,
But my fists run cold
When I hear his name
And he dares me to punch
And he dares me to bite,
Knowing he's got the upper hand
In every fight,
Knowing long as you're there
By his wretched side
None of my words can leave my mouth
I caught a glimpse of the Devil today -
He wore a man's clothes
And he wore a man's skin
And he drove you home to his domain
Where the walls are covered
With coats of pain
And peace is unknown
And love is rationed
And the windows are barred,
But nothing ever happened
I caught a glimpse of the Devil today -
He wore a man's clothes
And he wore a man's skin
And he proved to me
We're already in Hell
The moment you first spoke his name
I'm sorry
Written; 2023.jun.5.
Written; 2023.jun.5.