Luna Tickle eats only pickles and ***** up all the brine
When her brother tells their mother she begins to whine:
“Yes I did it! And left no tidbit
Is that such a crime? My brother smells and raises hell
And leaves the loo full of slime.”

Now their mother dear began to fear her children were obstructions
Never listening, since their christening, and wished for their abduction
So she planned a slaughter and called her daughter
Outside to the woodshed, then chopped her neck in two
She put Luna’s head in her brother’s bed and said,
“Now, they’ll be no more Boo-Hoos”

Now you know of Luna and her tragic ending
But there’s more to this rhyme that’s pending
For the Tickle name is quite insane
And was never worth defending
But that’s just what her brother did
When Mrs. Tickle met Judge Knuckle
And almost flipped her lid
Screaming:
“I never liked that kid from the day she began to suckle!
Why she couldn’t be more like me, or her lovely sister Tess”
Twas all Mrs. Tickle could confess that day to Judge and jury
Until brother **** chimed-in and confessed his sin
And did so in such a fury, it was heard throughout and within
The entire state of Missouri:

“I am Richard Tickle and do confess I am not fickle
In fact I am quite pugnacious
If you do not see the circumstances like me
I’ll be forced to be disputatious”

Interjects Judge Knuckle:
“Boy, I’ll have you buckled this instance to electric chair
If you’re not scared I’ll be splitting hairs
In a place where the sun does not shine
So if you care, you’d best beware
Or your Gherkin will be in a brine”

Now Tess screamed out and her mother did shout
In perfect unison:
“**** is my love and none the likes of any other hooligan”

At this there was a scuffle
Each dame was muffed and ruffled
They could not contain
All their angst and their pain
And it led to the ugliest tussle
For each thought ****
Was devoted to she
And apparently, this could not be
As we know of the trouble with Luna
So the jury was not out
Or even in doubt
Of these sinister makings and troubles

It was the sickest of affairs
Mass-producing glaring stares
From everyone within the court
Missouri Gazette’s headlines that day
Told of how they did slay
And burn the Tickle chalet
Leaving it in incestuous rubble
The lesson today to this horrific ballet
Is don’t live your life in a bubble

Monsieur Tickle
A business associate
Of my pater
Me aged four
Monsieur Tickle
Oft would visit our home
And tickle me
And tickle me
And tickle me
At first
I felt tickled
At second
I felt uneasy
At third
I felt scared
I didn't understand
I thought being tickled
Was mean't to be fun
Not of terror
After a while
When Monsieur Tickle visited
I would hide
Just two years ago
I mentioned this
To my sister
Who remembered well
This tickling mister
This sinister mister
Monsieur Tickle
As he tickled her too
And shared the same dread as i
And also shied
And would hide
As he evoked
So much fear
Whenever he was near
Yet he left
Our two brothers alone
(The third had not yet been born)
So whenever
I have to pretend
During acting practises
As part of a creative warm-up
I find myself
Having to act
As the others enjoy
The fun of it
Their own memories
Of being tickled
Untarnished
So i try to pick up on their vibe
Whilst i inwardly cringe
And cry
Monsieur Tickle
Now, no doubt
Lies in the company of worms
Yet still makes me squirm
The vermin now lies
With vermian

by Jemia