1
poor Rachael
married for love
Now twenty years through
and ignored by the hubby
who’s given up work
and sits at home drinking all day
No more kind words to Rachael
never a gentle look,
but just sarcasm and imbecilities all day
Will not even come out for a walk
with Rachael;
no desire for fresh air
just sits there drinking and farting -
Poor Rachael, she never comes back
to fresh air or a kind look






2
Rachael is out today
with a mission to make her life pleasant
“A pet is what I’ll have,”
she says to herself
and she’s in a pet shop now
looking at an exotic bird

3
“That there,” says the shop owner
“is a bird rare and unique;
let me demonstrate”
And straight he says to the bird:
“Zasala, the table!”
And Zasala flies straight and swift
to the table – and appecks* and demolishes
the table as swift as you can say “***!”
“Zasala, the broom!”
And Zasala flies straight and swift
to the broom – and appecks* and demolishes
the broom as swift as you can say “****!”


“I’ll take it," says Rachael, with a smile
Poor Rachael, she hasn’t smiled in years


4
“Darling,” says Rachael
the moment she gets home
“Look what I’ve got –
an exotic bird, Zasala!”


And straight Rachael’s clueless husband says:
*“Zasala, my foot!”

I want to be like Rachael Ray
Not for money or fame but because
I'd deliver my perfect eggplant parmesan
To great enthusiastic applause

I'd like to slice an onion, too
Just like the smiling Rachael does
Or complete a sweet peach cobbler
To the sound of ooh's and aah's

You don't have to weep with joy often
Over last night's chocolate mousse batch
Just put your hands together, can't you?
To deliver that 5-minute clap

I know it sounds quite arrogant
Desiring such full appreciation
But that feeling keeps washing over me
Wanting accolades for my creations

Just once as I set dinner on the table
They all inhale in admiration
While they leap to their feet spontaneously
To give me my standing ovation!