I’m a quitter. There I said it. I’m a ******* quitter.
I’ve quit:
- A whole lotta Jobs
- Love
- Almost-Love
- Sports
- Games
- Friendships
- ***
- Sandwiches
- Competitions
- Training
- Stories
- Projects
- Blogs
Not only am I quitter, but I run. I leave. I go far far away. Sometimes states away and other times deep inside myself where people barely recognize me and can only help but wonder where the **** I went.
I leave because I have to, because staying in one place feels like slow death. I leave because I can’t be all the things you want me to be. I don’t want your expectations. I leave because you bore me. I leave because I am afraid. I leave because I’m a ******* *****.
But I also leave because that is when I feel the most alive, when I am moving and experiencing new things. I also leave, because I thirst for the magic that is birthed in completely new experiences. I leave because I let some invisible force pull and push me around. I leave because I love getting lost in the waves.
Some things I haven’t quit:
- Believing in the power of my dreams
- Embracing the absurdity of being alive
- searching for the magic
- Laughing
- Making people laugh
- Learning
- listening to music
- watching movies
- reading
- creating
- loving
- getting out into the world and meeting new and fascinsating people
I haven’t quit letting people into my life and into my heart.
I’m still open.
I am still evolving.
I am still ******* alive. Sure, I’ve been known to quit on a whole lotta **** in my life. But maybe, just maybe, that is going to lead me to somewhere beautiful and contented. A place where I’ll know I belong.
A place that may be many states away or somewhere deep inside of myself.
Maybe one day I’ll quit this whole quitting thing and finally stick to something. Take it all the way…. perhaps… perhaps… perhaps…