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John Smith Oct 2013

I Don't Often Hope For  Much
I Don't Often Hope  Much For
I Don't Often For Hope  Much
I Don't Often For  Much Hope
I Don't Often  Much Hope For
I Don't Often  Much For Hope
I Don't Hope Often  Much For
I Don't Hope Often For  Much
I Don't Hope For  Much Often
I Don't Hope For Often  Much
I Don't Hope  Much For Often
I Don't Hope  Much Often For
I Don't For Often Hope  Much
I Don't For Often  Much Hope
I Don't For Hope Often  Much
I Don't For Hope  Much Often
I Don't For  Much Often Hope
I Don't For  Much Hope Often
I Don't  Much Often For Hope
I Don't  Much Often Hope For
I Don't  Much Hope For Often
I Don't  Much Hope Often For
I Don't  Much For Hope Often
I Don't  Much For Often Hope
I Often Don't  Much Hope For
I Often Don't  Much For Hope
I Often Don't Hope  Much For
I Often Don't Hope For  Much
I Often Don't For  Much Hope
I Often Don't For Hope  Much
I Often Hope  Much For Don't
I Often Hope  Much Don't For
I Often Hope Don't For  Much
I Often Hope Don't  Much For
I Often Hope For Don't  Much
I Often Hope For  Much Don't
I Often For  Much Don't Hope
I Often For  Much Hope Don't
I Often For Don't  Much Hope
I Often For Don't Hope  Much
I Often For Hope  Much Don't
I Often For Hope Don't  Much
I Often  Much For Hope Don't
I Often  Much For Don't Hope
I Often  Much Don't Hope For
I Often  Much Don't For Hope
I Often  Much Hope Don't For
I Often  Much Hope For Don't
I Hope Don't For  Much Often
I Hope Don't For Often  Much
I Hope Don't  Much For Often
I Hope Don't  Much Often For
I Hope Don't Often For  Much
I Hope Don't Often  Much For
I Hope Often For Don't  Much
I Hope Often For  Much Don't
I Hope Often  Much Don't For
I Hope Often  Much For Don't
I Hope Often Don't  Much For
I Hope Often Don't For  Much
I Hope For Often  Much Don't
I Hope For Often Don't  Much
I Hope For  Much Often Don't
I Hope For  Much Don't Often
I Hope For Don't Often  Much
I Hope For Don't  Much Often
I Hope  Much Often Don't For
I Hope  Much Often For Don't
I Hope  Much For Don't Often
I Hope  Much For Often Don't
I Hope  Much Don't For Often
I Hope  Much Don't Often For
I For Don't Often Hope  Much
I For Don't Often  Much Hope
I For Don't Hope Often  Much
I For Don't Hope  Much Often
I For Don't  Much Often Hope
I For Don't  Much Hope Often
I For Often Don't  Much Hope
I For Often Don't Hope  Much
I For Often Hope  Much Don't
I For Often Hope Don't  Much
I For Often  Much Hope Don't
I For Often  Much Don't Hope
I For Hope Don't Often  Much
I For Hope Don't  Much Often
I For Hope Often Don't  Much
I For Hope Often  Much Don't
I For Hope  Much Don't Often
I For Hope  Much Often Don't
I For  Much Don't Hope Often
I For  Much Don't Often Hope
I For  Much Often Hope Don't
I For  Much Often Don't Hope
I For  Much Hope Often Don't
I For  Much Hope Don't Often
I  Much Don't For Often Hope
I  Much Don't For Hope Often
I  Much Don't Often For Hope
I  Much Don't Often Hope For
I  Much Don't Hope For Often
I  Much Don't Hope Often For
I  Much Often For Hope Don't
I  Much Often For Don't Hope
I  Much Often Don't Hope For
I  Much Often Don't For Hope
I  Much Often Hope Don't For
I  Much Often Hope For Don't
I  Much Hope For Don't Often
I  Much Hope For Often Don't
I  Much Hope Don't For Often
I  Much Hope Don't Often For
I  Much Hope Often For Don't
I  Much Hope Often Don't For
I  Much For Hope Often Don't
I  Much For Hope Don't Often
I  Much For Don't Often Hope
I  Much For Don't Hope Often
I  Much For Often Don't Hope
I  Much For Often Hope Don't
Don't I  Much Hope For Often
Don't I  Much Hope Often For
Don't I  Much For Hope Often
Don't I  Much For Often Hope
Don't I  Much Often Hope For
Don't I  Much Often For Hope
Don't I Often Hope  Much For
Don't I Often Hope For  Much
Don't I Often For  Much Hope
Don't I Often For Hope  Much
Don't I Often  Much For Hope
Don't I Often  Much Hope For
Don't I Hope Often For  Much
Don't I Hope Often  Much For
Don't I Hope For Often  Much
Don't I Hope For  Much Often
Don't I Hope  Much Often For
Don't I Hope  Much For Often
Don't I For Often  Much Hope
Don't I For Often Hope  Much
Don't I For Hope  Much Often
Don't I For Hope Often  Much
Don't I For  Much Hope Often
Don't I For  Much Often Hope
Don't Often  Much I Hope For
Don't Often  Much I For Hope
Don't Often  Much Hope I For
Don't Often  Much Hope For I
Don't Often  Much For I Hope
Don't Often  Much For Hope I
Don't Often I  Much For Hope
Don't Often I  Much Hope For
Don't Often I Hope For  Much
Don't Often I Hope  Much For
Don't Often I For Hope  Much
Don't Often I For  Much Hope
Don't Often Hope  Much I For
Don't Often Hope  Much For I
Don't Often Hope I  Much For
Don't Often Hope I For  Much
Don't Often Hope For  Much I
Don't Often Hope For I  Much
Don't Often For  Much Hope I
Don't Often For  Much I Hope
Don't Often For I Hope  Much
Don't Often For I  Much Hope
Don't Often For Hope I  Much
Don't Often For Hope  Much I
Don't Hope  Much For I Often
Don't Hope  Much For Often I
Don't Hope  Much I For Often
Don't Hope  Much I Often For
Don't Hope  Much Often For I
Don't Hope  Much Often I For
Don't Hope I For Often  Much
Don't Hope I For  Much Often
Don't Hope I  Much Often For
Don't Hope I  Much For Often
Don't Hope I Often  Much For
Don't Hope I Often For  Much
Don't Hope Often For  Much I
Don't Hope Often For I  Much
Don't Hope Often  Much For I
Don't Hope Often  Much I For
Don't Hope Often I For  Much
Don't Hope Often I  Much For
Don't Hope For Often I  Much
Don't Hope For Often  Much I
Don't Hope For  Much I Often
Don't Hope For  Much Often I
Don't Hope For I  Much Often
Don't Hope For I Often  Much
Don't For  Much Often Hope I
Don't For  Much Often I Hope
Don't For  Much Hope Often I
Don't For  Much Hope I Often
Don't For  Much I Often Hope
Don't For  Much I Hope Often
Don't For I Often  Much Hope
Don't For I Often Hope  Much
Don't For I Hope  Much Often
Don't For I Hope Often  Much
Don't For I  Much Hope Often
Don't For I  Much Often Hope
Don't For Often I Hope  Much
Don't For Often I  Much Hope
Don't For Often Hope I  Much
Don't For Often Hope  Much I
Don't For Often  Much I Hope
Don't For Often  Much Hope I
Don't For Hope I  Much Often
Don't For Hope I Often  Much
Don't For Hope Often  Much I
Don't For Hope Often I  Much
Don't For Hope  Much Often I
Don't For Hope  Much I Often
Don't  Much For I Often Hope
Don't  Much For I Hope Often
Don't  Much For Often I Hope
Don't  Much For Often Hope I
Don't  Much For Hope I Often
Don't  Much For Hope Often I
Don't  Much I For Hope Often
Don't  Much I For Often Hope
Don't  Much I Often Hope For
Don't  Much I Often For Hope
Don't  Much I Hope Often For
Don't  Much I Hope For Often
Don't  Much Often For I Hope
Don't  Much Often For Hope I
Don't  Much Often I For Hope
Don't  Much Often I Hope For
Don't  Much Often Hope For I
Don't  Much Often Hope I For
Don't  Much Hope For Often I
Don't  Much Hope For I Often
Don't  Much Hope I Often For
Don't  Much Hope I For Often
Don't  Much Hope Often I For
Don't  Much Hope Often For I
Often I For Hope  Much Don't
Often I For Hope Don't  Much
Often I For  Much Hope Don't
Often I For  Much Don't Hope
Often I For Don't Hope  Much
Often I For Don't  Much Hope
Often I  Much Hope Don't For
Often I  Much Hope For Don't
Often I  Much For Don't Hope
Often I  Much For Hope Don't
Often I  Much Don't For Hope
Often I  Much Don't Hope For
Often I Don't Hope For  Much
Often I Don't Hope  Much For
Often I Don't For Hope  Much
Often I Don't For  Much Hope
Often I Don't  Much Hope For
Often I Don't  Much For Hope
Often I Hope Don't  Much For
Often I Hope Don't For  Much
Often I Hope For  Much Don't
Often I Hope For Don't  Much
Often I Hope  Much For Don't
Often I Hope  Much Don't For
Often Don't For I Hope  Much
Often Don't For I  Much Hope
Often Don't For Hope I  Much
Often Don't For Hope  Much I
Often Don't For  Much I Hope
Often Don't For  Much Hope I
Often Don't  Much I For Hope
Often Don't  Much I Hope For
Often Don't  Much Hope For I
Often Don't  Much Hope I For
Often Don't  Much For Hope I
Often Don't  Much For I Hope
Often Don't I  Much Hope For
Often Don't I  Much For Hope
Often Don't I Hope  Much For
Often Don't I Hope For  Much
Often Don't I For  Much Hope
Often Don't I For Hope  Much
Often Don't Hope  Much For I
Often Don't Hope  Much I For
Often Don't Hope I For  Much
Often Don't Hope I  Much For
Often Don't Hope For I  Much
Often Don't Hope For  Much I
Often Hope For  Much I Don't
Often Hope For  Much Don't I
Often Hope For I  Much Don't
Often Hope For I Don't  Much
Often Hope For Don't  Much I
Often Hope For Don't I  Much
Often Hope  Much For Don't I
Often Hope  Much For I Don't
Often Hope  Much I Don't For
Often Hope  Much I For Don't
Often Hope  Much Don't I For
Often Hope  Much Don't For I
Often Hope I For  Much Don't
Often Hope I For Don't  Much
Often Hope I  Much For Don't
Often Hope I  Much Don't For
Often Hope I Don't For  Much
Often Hope I Don't  Much For
Often Hope Don't For I  Much
Often Hope Don't For  Much I
Often Hope Don't  Much I For
Often Hope Don't  Much For I
Often Hope Don't I  Much For
Often Hope Don't I For  Much
Often For Hope Don't  Much I
Often For Hope Don't I  Much
Often For Hope  Much Don't I
Often For Hope  Much I Don't
Often For Hope I Don't  Much
Often For Hope I  Much Don't
Often For  Much Don't I Hope
Often For  Much Don't Hope I
Often For  Much Hope I Don't
Often For  Much Hope Don't I
Often For  Much I Hope Don't
Often For  Much I Don't Hope
Often For I Don't Hope  Much
Often For I Don't  Much Hope
Often For I Hope Don't  Much
Often For I Hope  Much Don't
Often For I  Much Don't Hope
Often For I  Much Hope Don't
Often For Don't I  Much Hope
Often For Don't I Hope  Much
Often For Don't Hope  Much I
Often For Don't Hope I  Much
Often For Don't  Much Hope I
Often For Don't  Much I Hope
Often  Much Hope I Don't For
Often  Much Hope I For Don't
Often  Much Hope Don't I For
Often  Much Hope Don't For I
Often  Much Hope For I Don't
Often  Much Hope For Don't I
Often  Much For I Hope Don't
Often  Much For I Don't Hope
Often  Much For Don't Hope I
Often  Much For Don't I Hope
Often  Much For Hope Don't I
Often  Much For Hope I Don't
Often  Much I For Don't Hope
Often  Much I For Hope Don't
Often  Much I Don't For Hope
Often  Much I Don't Hope For
Often  Much I Hope For Don't
Often  Much I Hope Don't For
Often  Much Don't For Hope I
Often  Much Don't For I Hope
Often  Much Don't I Hope For
Often  Much Don't I For Hope
Often  Much Don't Hope I For
Often  Much Don't Hope For I
Hope I Often For  Much Don't
Hope I Often For Don't  Much
Hope I Often  Much For Don't
Hope I Often  Much Don't For
Hope I Often Don't For  Much
Hope I Often Don't  Much For
Hope I For Often Don't  Much
Hope I For Often  Much Don't
Hope I For  Much Don't Often
Hope I For  Much Often Don't
Hope I For Don't  Much Often
Hope I For Don't Often  Much
Hope I  Much Often For Don't
Hope I  Much Often Don't For
Hope I  Much For Often Don't
Hope I  Much For Don't Often
Hope I  Much Don't Often For
Hope I  Much Don't For Often
Hope I Don't Often  Much For
Hope I Don't Often For  Much
Hope I Don't For  Much Often
Hope I Don't For Often  Much
Hope I Don't  Much For Often
Hope I Don't  Much Often For
Hope Don't Often I For  Much
Hope Don't Often I  Much For
Hope Don't Often For I  Much
Hope Don't Often For  Much I
Hope Don't Often  Much I For
Hope Don't Often  Much For I
Hope Don't For I  Much Often
Hope Don't For I Often  Much
Hope Don't For Often  Much I
Hope Don't For Often I  Much
Hope Don't For  Much Often I
Hope Don't For  Much I Often
Hope Don't  Much I Often For
Hope Don't  Much I For Often
Hope Don't  Much Often I For
Hope Don't  Much Often For I
Hope Don't  Much For I Often
Hope Don't  Much For Often I
Hope Don't I  Much For Often
Hope Don't I  Much Often For
Hope Don't I Often For  Much
Hope Don't I Often  Much For
Hope Don't I For Often  Much
Hope Don't I For  Much Often
Hope Often Don't  Much I For
Hope Often Don't  Much For I
Hope Often Don't I  Much For
Hope Often Don't I For  Much
Hope Often Don't For  Much I
Hope Often Don't For I  Much
Hope Often For  Much Don't I
Hope Often For  Much I Don't
Hope Often For I Don't  Much
Hope Often For I  Much Don't
Hope Often For Don't I  Much
Hope Often For Don't  Much I
Hope Often  Much For I Don't
Hope Often  Much For Don't I
Hope Often  Much I For Don't
Hope Often  Much I Don't For
Hope Often  Much Don't For I
Hope Often  Much Don't I For
Hope Often I For Don't  Much
Hope Often I For  Much Don't
Hope Often I  Much Don't For
Hope Often I  Much For Don't
Hope Often I Don't  Much For
Hope Often I Don't For  Much
Hope For Don't Often  Much I
Hope For Don't Often I  Much
Hope For Don't  Much Often I
Hope For Don't  Much I Often
Hope For Don't I Often  Much
Hope For Don't I  Much Often
Hope For Often Don't I  Much
Hope For Often Don't  Much I
Hope For Often  Much I Don't
Hope For Often  Much Don't I
Hope For Often I  Much Don't
Hope For Often I Don't  Much
Hope For  Much Don't Often I
Hope For  Much Don't I Often
Hope For  Much Often Don't I
Hope For  Much Often I Don't
Hope For  Much I Don't Often
Hope For  Much I Often Don't
Hope For I Don't  Much Often
Hope For I Don't Often  Much
Hope For I Often  Much Don't
Hope For I Often Don't  Much
Hope For I  Much Often Don't
Hope For I  Much Don't Often
Hope  Much Don't I Often For
Hope  Much Don't I For Often
Hope  Much Don't Often I For
Hope  Much Don't Often For I
Hope  Much Don't For I Often
Hope  Much Don't For Often I
Hope  Much Often I For Don't
Hope  Much Often I Don't For
Hope  Much Often Don't For I
Hope  Much Often Don't I For
Hope  Much Often For Don't I
Hope  Much Often For I Don't
Hope  Much For I Don't Often
Hope  Much For I Often Don't
Hope  Much For Don't I Often
Hope  Much For Don't Often I
Hope  Much For Often I Don't
Hope  Much For Often Don't I
Hope  Much I For Often Don't
Hope  Much I For Don't Often
Hope  Much I Don't Often For
Hope  Much I Don't For Often
Hope  Much I Often Don't For
Hope  Much I Often For Don't
For I Don't Hope  Much Often
For I Don't Hope Often  Much
For I Don't  Much Hope Often
For I Don't  Much Often Hope
For I Don't Often Hope  Much
For I Don't Often  Much Hope
For I Often Hope Don't  Much
For I Often Hope  Much Don't
For I Often  Much Don't Hope
For I Often  Much Hope Don't
For I Often Don't  Much Hope
For I Often Don't Hope  Much
For I Hope Often  Much Don't
For I Hope Often Don't  Much
For I Hope  Much Often Don't
For I Hope  Much Don't Often
For I Hope Don't Often  Much
For I Hope Don't  Much Often
For I  Much Often Don't Hope
For I  Much Often Hope Don't
For I  Much Hope Don't Often
For I  Much Hope Often Don't
For I  Much Don't Hope Often
For I  Much Don't Often Hope
For Don't I Often Hope  Much
For Don't I Often  Much Hope
For Don't I Hope Often  Much
For Don't I Hope  Much Often
For Don't I  Much Often Hope
For Don't I  Much Hope Often
For Don't Often I  Much Hope
For Don't Often I Hope  Much
For Don't Often Hope  Much I
For Don't Often Hope I  Much
For Don't Often  Much Hope I
For Don't Often  Much I Hope
For Don't Hope I Often  Much
For Don't Hope I  Much Often
For Don't Hope Often I  Much
For Don't Hope Often  Much I
For Don't Hope  Much I Often
For Don't Hope  Much Often I
For Don't  Much I Hope Often
For Don't  Much I Often Hope
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For Don't  Much Often I Hope
For Don't  Much Hope Often I
For Don't  Much Hope I Often
For Often I  Much Don't Hope
For Often I  Much Hope Don't
For Often I Don't  Much Hope
For Often I Don't Hope  Much
For Often I Hope  Much Don't
For Often I Hope Don't  Much
For Often Don't  Much Hope I
For Often Don't  Much I Hope
For Often Don't I Hope  Much
For Often Don't I  Much Hope
For Often Don't Hope I  Much
For Often Don't Hope  Much I
For Often Hope  Much I Don't
For Often Hope  Much Don't I
For Often Hope I  Much Don't
For Often Hope I Don't  Much
For Often Hope Don't  Much I
For Often Hope Don't I  Much
For

Wm Joe McDonald Jul 2015

PROCRASTINATION

Wm Joe McDonald Jul 2015

PROCRASTINATION

PROCRASTINATION
By
Joe McDonald

Part I:

How often can I keep putting off everything in life that must be done to the point of frustration and despair?

How often will my work sit and stare at me with the eyes of hungry children always whining their demands for my attention to each task always wanting my full being beyond my own inner abilities and doubt?

How often can I walk past the damaged concrete step on my own house that sneers at me everyday as I walk up to my front door?

How often can I make promises to old friends to get together, celebrate life, and not expect them to wait on my return call of cancelation because of illusionary diseases?

How often can I feign in my backyard the beauty of my roses, sipping white grape while the grass under my bare feet remains brown, coarse, and over grown with dandelions stifling all vegetation?

How often can I pledge my good faith to a worthy cause by ending up watching from the back row as the needs prosper or fail regardless of my lack of motivation?

How often will constant kicking of the can down the yellow brick road be considered the excellence of a long line of Shakespearean resumes?

How often will my lack of courage blind me to opportunities of abundance and force my family to a life of stagnant economic asperity?

How often will I consent to others disrespect of my mastery of skills to the verge of closing my mind to all that is important to dwell in a soup of anger, self-doubts, and ache?

How often will the peeling paint, blistering off of my house like shards of cheese at my wedding feast, augment my anguished indifference finding every physical, spiritual, and any other of a multitude  of “…Why not’s…” festering in my dome of “..Do it tomorrow’s…”?

How often can I rattle my saber of position, roar my battle cry of “Tomorrow” to postpone today’s tasks? Bundling them all into neat piles of future promise completions. All the time smiling a grin of a used car salesman.

How often can I sit on my couch on sunny Saturday mornings enjoying the sun rise? Its beams slowly sliding across the finished oak; warming my unkempt hovel to the boiling point that tuffs of unwanted cat fur dancing over the varnished grain like tumbleweeds in a Sam Pechinpah film. Yet, I sip my morning brew, acknowledging their existence but, my head movies are of other unattended illusions.

How often can my inability to act or respond be accepted by those who expect perfection in all things?

How often can I permit the disappointment of a moment fire the indifference toward the needs of the here and now?

How often will my journey up my front walk be changed from the joy of daffodils and hyacinths filling the air with aromas of lung cleansing delights only to rediscover the pine foliage  are still dressed in the lights of Christmas past?

How often will I put off leading because of failure of seeing the needs of those who need leadership? They cry out for direction but, plead for independence. I use the pleas to drown out the cries.

How often will I have the epiphany of a lifetime only to have inaction and fear
drag it down to the bowels of an enlighten brain ****?

Part II:

I keep plugging in the mechanism of delay to power the animal of the moment.

I blind myself over and over and over and over again again again again to my abilities of now in favor of promises of later.

I smell success in the air every time I do the nows but, the stench of celebration’s to come is easer, sweater, more in line with who I am and not who I want to be.

I hear the praise and accolades of present victories and in time I’ll drag my triumphs out over the gravel road of time until they have lost their luster.

I’ll blindly stare at the tube of adult babysitting, at images of various eye candies trying to escape my own drive to do and yet failing in this as well.

I can’t spit out the bitter taste of the act of putting everything off nor drown it in the wine of determination without repeated reminder that I am drinking from the same cup of vintage to come.

I spend much needed dollars and valued hours gorging myself on self-help aids and assistance. Only they too become part of the beast’s feast of my misused time.

I awake every Monday with dreams of a new but, I’m so accessible to countless distractions. By Friday I face the inevitable doom of looking back over the landscape of a week gone up in the flames of the undone.

I try to grab each day by its throat. Choke out the desired results. Only it offers the slights resistance and I let it go to torment me from its lair growling “…not now, not now, not now…”

I’ll spend time with my mate for life. Half of me is relishing the moments with her. Half is wandering over the tablets of what I haven’t done.

I have mismanaged, misused, balled up, blundered, fouled up, mishandled, muddled, muffed, spoiled, and fumbled the footballs of my life again and again avoiding all that has to be done now driven farther down the boulevard. Constantly stopping at any insignificant store front; staring at juvenile trinkets of distraction.

I have sinned over and over again. I offer prayers to anyone who will listen. Begging for the enlightenment to solve my weakness. “… quia pecccavi nimis cogitatione verbo et in cogitations, et in hoc opera, quod ego facere non, mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa…”

Part III:

Who else do I have to make suffer in confused patience waiting for the promised end results of my superficial excellence?

What has to be done to make me arise from the ash of self doubt, indecision, and fear to conquer this demon within my psyche?

Where are the answers I seek in my time of apathy?

Why has this inferior deity have such a grasp on me?

When! Again, when!!! When will I face this issue and start to find the peace of timely attainment?

(“… that I have sinned through my own fault in my thoughts and my words, in what I have done and what I have failed to do, through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault…”)
Part IV:

I have lived with this for over a half century.
Trying to climb out of the hole of misused time.
Falling back into my penitentiary.
Serving a sentence of intimate crime.

The venting is complete, pity-pats written down.
My confession exposed for all to share, witness.
If this public sacrament exposes me a clown.
Mock away; have your jest. For I could care less.

My Ginsberg rant is to open doors of avowals.
To aid in my cure; in hope start my salvation.
To trust myself; to believe in oneself. I am all.
To look into the morning glass willing a reincarnation.

Only I can face the beast and make it heel.
Down inside I have to find the straight for each day.
Try a new, lighter approach; a new Don Marquis feel.
“…procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday…”

April 2014

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