How well it seems
I get to know your scenes
in the tug of nights darkness
in the realms of touch

blind innocent still
along the edges of
shadows still peeked
and viewed of both sides
now and wondered aloud musical
how I might find
the right touch the soul
the very nature of calm
I have searched for
so long

and on that edge, I pose
balancing hope
and juggling desires
a heartfire
and a cold ice juggernaut
fiercely holding
hope's eternal flame
in hands of clay
of mind's worthless
qualms

worry no more my fruitless
search has ended
along the edge I
fell headfirst in;
in love in peace into eternity;
into a vast new you and me.
Into love forever....
I stake my claim.

I walk no more alone,
eternally.

i think we self-destruct
differently

i feel as though you are a forest fire
(and maybe that's because you
are the warmest thing in my life but)
you are a force
you rage on
even if it means
leaving charred remains
in your wake
you are bright
you burn
you are so
incandescent
that people can look at you
and be so entranced
that they can forget the ashes
i feel as though maybe
that is how you feel
as you survive, you incinerate
but you incinerate to survive

i know there is life in you,
sometimes all it takes is a breath of wind,
a breeze to uncover seedlings and buds that have taken root already
i know for a fact that the world
would be left a shadow
without your heartfire

[i feel as though i am a decaying stump,
uprooted and on my side
(do you get it, because i'm always in bed and no longer growing and)
i'm all rot.
all i want is to be some kind of pretty,
without a care in the world,
i'm just waiting to feed the flowers]

Who am I?
Crack of dawn,
fresh spill,
Fifteen demands before coffee?

Who am I?
Sport utility,
Front facing,
Five point harness?

Who am I?
grey roots,
saddlebags
tattered unmentionables?

What is this?
Ground hog week,
triple speak,
automatic deduction?

Whence comes this paper trail?
Condensing us into forms,
Sorting us into audits,
assesing penalties?

What happened to 5am?
Frozen in time?
Slow dawn creeping,
into a still-frame prescience?

What happened to days in bed?
Long hours in my head?
To ideas unfiltered,
and consecrated ground?

What happend to glitter clouds,
And living out loud?
To boundaries shattered,
and reality questioning itself?

Where do I find my heartfire?
Art and desire?
The uncharted,
now the lost...

Where is my life lust?
That signature passion,
for this domestic pursuit?
My sense of adventue?

Why is youth so visceral in its wake?
Am I a hollogram to the present,
that I exist in this backdraft,
of moments passed?

How am I consistent to the deadline,
but find myself so unready?
How is progress such a burden?
Why is nostalgia so heavy?

we were matches that didn't match and we smoked each other out;
you were long gone, a shell of a boy looking for warmth,
and I was a desperate flare lighting up the night,
blind

your emptiness–what a mess–

lies
now I've left our meaningless memories behind,
filling up with doubt instead: tell me darling future lover,
will you too spark heartfire, a funeral pyre, then turn leaving me to drown?

It was Loredas,
21st of Heartfire
My husband, in Whiterun
my next harbinger, I deem
For the song of the oldest bard he sung
And his face with black ink
Marks his faith to the Companions
In Jorrvaskr he was born, with Vilkas, his twin
In Loredas, he brought to me,
A soul filled sapphire ring
In Riften he swore to Mara and me,
"May the winter freeze Tamriel, and the drought drain the spring, but our love, my dear, will flourish in Skyrim"

5-25-18