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Poems
I cut the middle fingernail of the middle
finger
right hand
real short
and I began rubbing along her ****
as she sat upright in bed
spreading lotion over her arms
face
and *******
after bathing.
then she lit a cigarette:
"don't let this put you off,"
an smoked and continued to rub
the lotion on.
I continued to rub the ****.
"You want an apple?" I asked.
"sure, she said, "you got one?"
but I got to her-
she began to twist
then she rolled on her side,
she was getting wet and open
like a flower in the rain.
then she rolled on her stomach
and her most beautiful ***
looked up at me
and I reached under and got the
**** again.
she reached around and got my
****, she rolled and twisted,
I mounted
my face falling into the mass
of red hair that overflowed
from her head
and my flattened **** entered
into the miracle.
later we joked about the lotion
and the cigarette and the apple.
then I went out and got some chicken
and shrimp and french fries and buns
and mashed potatoes and gravy and
cole slaw,and we ate.she told me
how good she felt and I told her
how good I felt and we
ate the chicken and the shrimp and the
french fries and the buns and the
mashed potatoes and the gravy and
the cole slaw too.
finger
right hand
real short
and I began rubbing along her ****
as she sat upright in bed
spreading lotion over her arms
face
and *******
after bathing.
then she lit a cigarette:
"don't let this put you off,"
an smoked and continued to rub
the lotion on.
I continued to rub the ****.
"You want an apple?" I asked.
"sure, she said, "you got one?"
but I got to her-
she began to twist
then she rolled on her side,
she was getting wet and open
like a flower in the rain.
then she rolled on her stomach
and her most beautiful ***
looked up at me
and I reached under and got the
**** again.
she reached around and got my
****, she rolled and twisted,
I mounted
my face falling into the mass
of red hair that overflowed
from her head
and my flattened **** entered
into the miracle.
later we joked about the lotion
and the cigarette and the apple.
then I went out and got some chicken
and shrimp and french fries and buns
and mashed potatoes and gravy and
cole slaw,and we ate.she told me
how good she felt and I told her
how good I felt and we
ate the chicken and the shrimp and the
french fries and the buns and the
mashed potatoes and the gravy and
the cole slaw too.
michael reid rubenstein Jun 2010
art school
michael reid rubenstein
Jun 2010
1969 Hartford art school is magnet for exceedingly intelligent over-sensitive under-achievers alluring freaks congenital creeps and anyone who cannot cut it in straight world it is about loners dreamers stoners clowns cliques of posers competing to dress draw act most outrageous weird wonderful classrooms clash in diversity of needs some students get it right off while others require so much individual attention one girl constantly raises her hand calls for everything to be repeated explained creativity is treated as trouble and compliance to instruction rewarded most of faculty are of opinion kids are not capable of making original artwork teachers discourage students from dream of becoming well-known until they are older more experienced only practiced skilled artists are competent to create ‘real art’ defined by how much struggle or multiple meanings weave through the work Odysseus wants to make magic boxes without knowing or being informed of Joseph Cornell one teacher tells him you think you’re going to invent some new color the world has never seen? you’re just some rowdy brat from the midwest with a lot of crazy ideas and no evidence of authenticity another teacher warns you’re nothing more than a bricoleur! Odysseus questions what’s a bricoleur teacher informs a rogue handyman who haphazardly constructs from whatever is immediately available Odysseus questions what’s wrong with that? teacher answers it’s low-class folk junk possessing no real intellectual value independently he reads Marshall McLuhan’s “The Medium Is The Message” and “The Notebooks of Leonardo da Vinci” he memorizes introductory remark of Leonardo’s “i must do like one who comes last to the fair and can find no other way of providing for himself than by taking all the things already seen by others and not taken by reason of their lesser value” Odysseus dreams of becoming accomplished important artist like Robert Rauschenberg Jasper Johns Andy Warhol he dreams of being in eye of hurricane New York art scene he works for university newspaper and is nicknamed crashkiss the newspaper editor is leader in student movement and folk singer who croons “45 caliber man, you’re so much more than our 22, but there’s so many more of us than you” Odysseus grows mustache wears flower printed pants vintage 1940’s leather jacket g.i. surplus clothes he makes many friends his gift for hooking up with girls is uncanny he is long haired drug-crazed hippie enjoying popularity previously unknown to him rock bands play at art openings everyone flirts dances gets ****** lots of activism on campus New York Times dubs university of Hartford “Berkeley of the east coast” holding up ******* in peace sign is subversive in 1969 symbol of rebellion youth solidarity gesture against war hawks rednecks corporate America acknowledgment of potential beyond materialistic self-righteous values of status quo sign of what could be in universe filled with incredible possibilities he moves in with painting student one year advanced named Todd Whitman Todd has curly blond hair sturdy build wire rimmed glasses impish smile gemini superb draftsman amazing artist Todd emulates Francisco de Goya and Albrecht Durer Todd’s talent overshadows Odysseus’s Todd’s dad is accomplished professor at distinguished college in Massachusetts to celebrate Odysseus’s arrival Todd cooks all day preparing spaghetti dinner when Odysseus arrives home tripping on acid without appetite Todd is disappointed Odysseus runs down to corner store buys large bottle of wine returns to house Todd is eating spaghetti alone they get drunk together then pierce each other’s ears with needles ice wine cork pierced ears are outlaw style of bad *** bikers like Hell’s Angels Todd says you are a real original Odys and funny too Odysseus asks funny, how? Todd answers you are one crazy ******* drop acid whenever you want smoke **** then go to class this is fun tonight Odys getting drunk and piercing our ears Odysseus says yup i’m having a good time too Todd and Odysseus become best friends Odysseus turns Todd on to Sylvia Plath’s “The Bell Jar” and “Ariel” then they both read Ted Hughes “Crow” illustrated with Leonard Baskin prints Todd turns Odysseus on to German Expressionist painting art movement of garish colors emotionally violent imagery from 1905-1925 later infuriating Third ***** who deemed the work “degenerate” Odysseus dives into works of Max Beckmann Otto Dix Conrad Felixmulller Barthel Gilles George Grosz Erich Heckel Ernst Ludwig Kirchner Felix Nussbaum Karl *******Rottluff Carl Hofer August Macke Max Peckstein Elfriede Lohse-Wachtler Egon Shiele list goes on in 1969 most parents don’t have money to buy their children cars most kids living off campus either ride bikes or hitchhike to school then back home on weekends often without a penny in their pockets Odysseus and Todd randomly select a highway and hitch rides to Putney Vermont Brattleboro Boston Cape Cod New York City or D.C. in search of adventure there is always trouble to be found curious girls to assist in Georgetown Odysseus sleeps with skinny girl with webbed toes who believes he is Jesus he tries to dissuade her but she is convinced
Toby Mantis is visiting New York City artist at Hartford art school he looks like huskier handsomer version of Ringo Starr and women dig him he builds stretchers and stretches canvases for Warhol lives in huge loft in Soho on Broadway and Bleeker invites Odysseus to come down on weekends hang out Toby takes him to Max’s Kansas City Warhol’s Electric Circus they wander all night into morning there are printing companies longshoremen gays in Chelsea Italians in West Village hippies playing guitars protesting the war in Washington Square all kinds of hollering crazies passing out fliers pins in Union Square Toby is hard drinker Odysseus has trouble keeping up he pukes his guts out number of times Odysseus is *** head not drinker he explores 42nd Street stumbles across strange exotic place named Peep Show World upstairs is large with many **** cubicles creepy dudes hanging around downstairs is astonishing there are many clusters of booths with live **** girls inside girls shout out hey boys come on now pick me come on boys there are hundreds of girls from all over the world in every conceivable size shape race he enters dark stall puts fifty cents in coin box window screen lifts inside each cluster are 6 to 10 girls either parading or glued to a window for $1 he is allowed to caress kiss their ******* for $2 he is permitted to probe their ****** or *** for $10 girl reaches hand into darkened stall jerks him off tall slender British girl thrills him the most she says let me have another go at your dickey Odysseus spends all his money ******* 5 times departing he notices men from every walk of life passing through wall street stockbrokers executives rednecks mobsters frat boys tourists fat old bald guys smoking thick smelly cigars Toby Mantis has good-looking girlfriend named Lorraine with long brown hair Toby Lorraine and Odysseus sit around kitchen table Odysseus doodles with pencil on paper Toby spreads open Lorraine’s thighs exposing her ****** to Odysseus Lorraine blushes yet permits Toby to finger her Odysseus thinks she has the most beautiful ****** he has ever seen bulging pelvic bone brown distinctive bush symmetric lips Toby and Lorraine watch in amusement as Odysseus gazes intently Tony mischievously remarks you like looking at that ***** don’t you? Odysseus stares silently begins pencil drawing Lorraine’s ****** his eyes darting back and forth following day Lorraine seduces Odysseus while Toby is away walks out **** from shower she is few years older her body lean with high ******* she directs his hands mouth while she talks with someone on telephone it is strange yet quite exciting Odysseus is in awe of New York City every culture in the world intermingling democracy functioning in an uncontrollable managed breath millions of people in motion stories unraveling on every street 24 hour spectacle with no limits every conceivable variety of humanity ******* in same air Odysseus is bedazzled yet intimidated
Odysseus spends summer of 1970 at art colony in Cummington Massachusetts it is magical time extraordinary place many talented eccentric characters all kinds of happenings stage plays poetry readings community meals volleyball after dinner volleyball games are hilarious fun he lives alone in isolated studio amidst wild raspberries in woods shares toilet with field mouse no shower he reads Jerzy Kosinski’s “Painted Bird” then “Being There” then “Steps” attractive long haired girl named Pam visits community for weekend meets Odysseus they talk realize they were in first grade together at Harper amazing coincidence automatic ground for “we need to have *** because neither of us has seen each other since first grade” she inquires where do you sleep? Todd hitches up from Hartford to satisfy curiosity everyone sleeps around good-looking blue-eyed poet named Shannon Banks from South Boston tells Odysseus his ******* is not big enough for kind of ******* she wants but she will **** him off that’s fine with him 32 year old poet named Ellen Morrissey from Massachusetts reassures him ******* is fine Ellen is beginning to find her way out from suffocating marriage she has little daughter named Nina Ellen admires Odysseus’s free spirit sees both his possibilities and naïveté she realizes he has crippling family baggage he has no idea he is carrying thing about trauma is as it is occurring victim shrugs laughs to repel shock yet years later pain horror sink in turned-on with new ideas he returns to Hartford art school classes are fun yet confusing he strives to be best drawer most innovative competition sidetracks him Odysseus uses power drill to carve pumpkin on Halloween teachers warn him to stick to fundamentals too much creativity is suspect Todd and he are invited to holiday party Odysseus shows up with Ellen Morrissey driving in her father’s station wagon 2 exceptionally pretty girls flirt with him he is live wire they sneak upstairs he fingers both at same time while they laugh to each other one of the girls Laura invites him outside to do more he follows they walk through falling snow until they find hidden area near some trees Laura lies down lifts her skirt she spreads her legs dense ***** mound he is about to explore her there when Laura looks up sees figure with flashlight following their tracks in snow she warns it’s Bill my husband run for your life! Odysseus runs around long way back inside party grabs a beer pretending he has been there next to Ellen all night few minutes later he sees Laura and Bill return through front door Bill has dark mustache angry eyes Odysseus tells Ellen it is late maybe they should leave soon suddenly Bill walks up to him with beer in hand cracks bottle over his head glass and beer splatter Odysseus jumps up runs out to station wagon Ellen hurriedly follows snow coming down hard car is wedged among many guest vehicles he starts engine locks doors maneuvers vehicle back and forth trying to inch way out of spot Bill appears from party walks to his van disappears from out of darkness swirling snow Bill comes at them wielding large crowbar smashes car’s headlights taillights side mirrors windshield covered in broken glass Ellen ducks on floor beneath glove compartment sobs cries he’s going to **** us! we’re going to die! Odysseus steers station wagon free floors gas pedal drives on back country roads through furious snowstorm in dark of night no lights Odysseus contorts crouches forward in order to see through hole in shattered windshield Ellen sees headlights behind them coming up fast it is Bill in van Bill banging their bumper follows them all the way back to Hartford to Odysseus’s place they run inside call police Bill sits parked van outside across street as police arrive half hour later Bill pulls away next day Odysseus and Ellen drive to Boston to explain to Ellen’s dad what has happened to his station wagon Odysseus stays with Ellen in Brookline for several nights another holiday party she wants to take him along to meet her friends her social circles are older he thinks to challenge their values be outrageous paints face Ellen is horrified cries you can’t possibly do this to me these are my close friends what will they think? he defiantly answers my face is a mask who cares what i look like? man woman creature what does it matter? if your friends really want to know me they’ll need to look beyond the make-up tonight i am your sluttish girlfriend! sometimes Odysseus can be a thoughtless fool
Laura Rousseau Shane files for divorce from Bill she is exceptionally lovely models at art school she is of French descent her figure possessing exotic traits she stands like ballerina with thick pointed ******* copious ***** hair Odysseus is infatuated she frequently dances pursues him Laura says i had the opportunity to meet Bob Dylan once amazed Odysseus questions what did you do? she replies what could i possibly have in common with Bob Dylan? Laura teases Odysseus about being a preppy then lustfully gropes him grabs holds his ***** they devote many hours to ****** intimacy during ******* she routinely reaches her hand from under her buns grasps his testicles squeezing as he pumps he likes that Laura is quite eccentric fetishes over Odysseus she even thrills to pick zits on his back he is not sure if it is truly a desire of hers proof of earthiness or simply expression of mothering Laura has two daughters by Bill Odysseus is in over his head Laura tells Odysseus myth of Medea smitten with love for Jason Jason needs Medea’s help to find Golden Fleece Medea agrees with promise of marriage murders her brother arranges ****** of king who has deprived Jason his inheritance couple is forced into exile Medea bears Jason 2 sons then Jason falls in love with King Creon’s daughter deserts Medea is furious she makes shawl for King Creon’s daughter to wear at her wedding to Jason shawl turns to flames killing bride Medea murders her own sons by Jason Odysseus goes along with story for a while but Laura wants husband Odysseus is merely scruffy boy with roving eyes Laura becomes galled by Odysseus leaves him for one of his roommates whom she marries then several years later divorces there is scene when Laura tells Odysseus she is dropping him for his roommate he is standing in living room of her house space is painted deep renaissance burgundy there are framed photographs on walls in one photo he is hugging Laura and her daughters under big oak tree in room Laura’s friend Bettina other girl he fingered first night he met Laura at party is watching with arms crossed he drops to floor curls body sobs i miss you so much Laura turns to Bettina remarks look at him men are such big babies he’s pitiful Bettina nods
following summer he works installing displays at G. Fox Department Store besides one woman gay men staff display department for as long as he can remember homosexuals have always been attracted to him this misconception is probably how he got job his tenor voice suggesting not entirely mature man instead more like tentative young boy this ambiguous manifestation sometimes also evidences gestures thoroughly misleading after sidestepping several ****** advances one of his co-workers bewilderingly remarks you really are straight manager staff are fussy chirpy catty group consequently certain he is not gay they discriminate against him stick him with break down clean up slop jobs at outdoor weekend rock concert in Constitution Plaza he meets 2 younger blond girls who consent to go back to his place mess around both girls are quite dazzling yet one is somewhat physically undeveloped they undress and model for Odysseus radio plays Roberta Flack’s “Killing Me Softly With His Song” both girls move to rhythm sing along he thinks to orchestrate direct decides instead to let them lead lies on bed while curvaceous girl rides his ******* slender girl sits on his face they switch all 3 alternate giggle laughter each girl reaches ****** on his stiffness later both assist with hands mouths his ****** is so intense it leaves him paralyzed for a moment
in fall he is cast as Claudius in production of Hamlet Odysseus rehearses diligently on nights o
Toby Mantis is visiting New York City artist at Hartford art school he looks like huskier handsomer version of Ringo Starr and women dig him he builds stretchers and stretches canvases for Warhol lives in huge loft in Soho on Broadway and Bleeker invites Odysseus to come down on weekends hang out Toby takes him to Max’s Kansas City Warhol’s Electric Circus they wander all night into morning there are printing companies longshoremen gays in Chelsea Italians in West Village hippies playing guitars protesting the war in Washington Square all kinds of hollering crazies passing out fliers pins in Union Square Toby is hard drinker Odysseus has trouble keeping up he pukes his guts out number of times Odysseus is *** head not drinker he explores 42nd Street stumbles across strange exotic place named Peep Show World upstairs is large with many **** cubicles creepy dudes hanging around downstairs is astonishing there are many clusters of booths with live **** girls inside girls shout out hey boys come on now pick me come on boys there are hundreds of girls from all over the world in every conceivable size shape race he enters dark stall puts fifty cents in coin box window screen lifts inside each cluster are 6 to 10 girls either parading or glued to a window for $1 he is allowed to caress kiss their ******* for $2 he is permitted to probe their ****** or *** for $10 girl reaches hand into darkened stall jerks him off tall slender British girl thrills him the most she says let me have another go at your dickey Odysseus spends all his money ******* 5 times departing he notices men from every walk of life passing through wall street stockbrokers executives rednecks mobsters frat boys tourists fat old bald guys smoking thick smelly cigars Toby Mantis has good-looking girlfriend named Lorraine with long brown hair Toby Lorraine and Odysseus sit around kitchen table Odysseus doodles with pencil on paper Toby spreads open Lorraine’s thighs exposing her ****** to Odysseus Lorraine blushes yet permits Toby to finger her Odysseus thinks she has the most beautiful ****** he has ever seen bulging pelvic bone brown distinctive bush symmetric lips Toby and Lorraine watch in amusement as Odysseus gazes intently Tony mischievously remarks you like looking at that ***** don’t you? Odysseus stares silently begins pencil drawing Lorraine’s ****** his eyes darting back and forth following day Lorraine seduces Odysseus while Toby is away walks out **** from shower she is few years older her body lean with high ******* she directs his hands mouth while she talks with someone on telephone it is strange yet quite exciting Odysseus is in awe of New York City every culture in the world intermingling democracy functioning in an uncontrollable managed breath millions of people in motion stories unraveling on every street 24 hour spectacle with no limits every conceivable variety of humanity ******* in same air Odysseus is bedazzled yet intimidated
Odysseus spends summer of 1970 at art colony in Cummington Massachusetts it is magical time extraordinary place many talented eccentric characters all kinds of happenings stage plays poetry readings community meals volleyball after dinner volleyball games are hilarious fun he lives alone in isolated studio amidst wild raspberries in woods shares toilet with field mouse no shower he reads Jerzy Kosinski’s “Painted Bird” then “Being There” then “Steps” attractive long haired girl named Pam visits community for weekend meets Odysseus they talk realize they were in first grade together at Harper amazing coincidence automatic ground for “we need to have *** because neither of us has seen each other since first grade” she inquires where do you sleep? Todd hitches up from Hartford to satisfy curiosity everyone sleeps around good-looking blue-eyed poet named Shannon Banks from South Boston tells Odysseus his ******* is not big enough for kind of ******* she wants but she will **** him off that’s fine with him 32 year old poet named Ellen Morrissey from Massachusetts reassures him ******* is fine Ellen is beginning to find her way out from suffocating marriage she has little daughter named Nina Ellen admires Odysseus’s free spirit sees both his possibilities and naïveté she realizes he has crippling family baggage he has no idea he is carrying thing about trauma is as it is occurring victim shrugs laughs to repel shock yet years later pain horror sink in turned-on with new ideas he returns to Hartford art school classes are fun yet confusing he strives to be best drawer most innovative competition sidetracks him Odysseus uses power drill to carve pumpkin on Halloween teachers warn him to stick to fundamentals too much creativity is suspect Todd and he are invited to holiday party Odysseus shows up with Ellen Morrissey driving in her father’s station wagon 2 exceptionally pretty girls flirt with him he is live wire they sneak upstairs he fingers both at same time while they laugh to each other one of the girls Laura invites him outside to do more he follows they walk through falling snow until they find hidden area near some trees Laura lies down lifts her skirt she spreads her legs dense ***** mound he is about to explore her there when Laura looks up sees figure with flashlight following their tracks in snow she warns it’s Bill my husband run for your life! Odysseus runs around long way back inside party grabs a beer pretending he has been there next to Ellen all night few minutes later he sees Laura and Bill return through front door Bill has dark mustache angry eyes Odysseus tells Ellen it is late maybe they should leave soon suddenly Bill walks up to him with beer in hand cracks bottle over his head glass and beer splatter Odysseus jumps up runs out to station wagon Ellen hurriedly follows snow coming down hard car is wedged among many guest vehicles he starts engine locks doors maneuvers vehicle back and forth trying to inch way out of spot Bill appears from party walks to his van disappears from out of darkness swirling snow Bill comes at them wielding large crowbar smashes car’s headlights taillights side mirrors windshield covered in broken glass Ellen ducks on floor beneath glove compartment sobs cries he’s going to **** us! we’re going to die! Odysseus steers station wagon free floors gas pedal drives on back country roads through furious snowstorm in dark of night no lights Odysseus contorts crouches forward in order to see through hole in shattered windshield Ellen sees headlights behind them coming up fast it is Bill in van Bill banging their bumper follows them all the way back to Hartford to Odysseus’s place they run inside call police Bill sits parked van outside across street as police arrive half hour later Bill pulls away next day Odysseus and Ellen drive to Boston to explain to Ellen’s dad what has happened to his station wagon Odysseus stays with Ellen in Brookline for several nights another holiday party she wants to take him along to meet her friends her social circles are older he thinks to challenge their values be outrageous paints face Ellen is horrified cries you can’t possibly do this to me these are my close friends what will they think? he defiantly answers my face is a mask who cares what i look like? man woman creature what does it matter? if your friends really want to know me they’ll need to look beyond the make-up tonight i am your sluttish girlfriend! sometimes Odysseus can be a thoughtless fool
Laura Rousseau Shane files for divorce from Bill she is exceptionally lovely models at art school she is of French descent her figure possessing exotic traits she stands like ballerina with thick pointed ******* copious ***** hair Odysseus is infatuated she frequently dances pursues him Laura says i had the opportunity to meet Bob Dylan once amazed Odysseus questions what did you do? she replies what could i possibly have in common with Bob Dylan? Laura teases Odysseus about being a preppy then lustfully gropes him grabs holds his ***** they devote many hours to ****** intimacy during ******* she routinely reaches her hand from under her buns grasps his testicles squeezing as he pumps he likes that Laura is quite eccentric fetishes over Odysseus she even thrills to pick zits on his back he is not sure if it is truly a desire of hers proof of earthiness or simply expression of mothering Laura has two daughters by Bill Odysseus is in over his head Laura tells Odysseus myth of Medea smitten with love for Jason Jason needs Medea’s help to find Golden Fleece Medea agrees with promise of marriage murders her brother arranges ****** of king who has deprived Jason his inheritance couple is forced into exile Medea bears Jason 2 sons then Jason falls in love with King Creon’s daughter deserts Medea is furious she makes shawl for King Creon’s daughter to wear at her wedding to Jason shawl turns to flames killing bride Medea murders her own sons by Jason Odysseus goes along with story for a while but Laura wants husband Odysseus is merely scruffy boy with roving eyes Laura becomes galled by Odysseus leaves him for one of his roommates whom she marries then several years later divorces there is scene when Laura tells Odysseus she is dropping him for his roommate he is standing in living room of her house space is painted deep renaissance burgundy there are framed photographs on walls in one photo he is hugging Laura and her daughters under big oak tree in room Laura’s friend Bettina other girl he fingered first night he met Laura at party is watching with arms crossed he drops to floor curls body sobs i miss you so much Laura turns to Bettina remarks look at him men are such big babies he’s pitiful Bettina nods
following summer he works installing displays at G. Fox Department Store besides one woman gay men staff display department for as long as he can remember homosexuals have always been attracted to him this misconception is probably how he got job his tenor voice suggesting not entirely mature man instead more like tentative young boy this ambiguous manifestation sometimes also evidences gestures thoroughly misleading after sidestepping several ****** advances one of his co-workers bewilderingly remarks you really are straight manager staff are fussy chirpy catty group consequently certain he is not gay they discriminate against him stick him with break down clean up slop jobs at outdoor weekend rock concert in Constitution Plaza he meets 2 younger blond girls who consent to go back to his place mess around both girls are quite dazzling yet one is somewhat physically undeveloped they undress and model for Odysseus radio plays Roberta Flack’s “Killing Me Softly With His Song” both girls move to rhythm sing along he thinks to orchestrate direct decides instead to let them lead lies on bed while curvaceous girl rides his ******* slender girl sits on his face they switch all 3 alternate giggle laughter each girl reaches ****** on his stiffness later both assist with hands mouths his ****** is so intense it leaves him paralyzed for a moment
in fall he is cast as Claudius in production of Hamlet Odysseus rehearses diligently on nights o
johnny georgy brown
Jun 2015
briano alliano at saturn club rings
hi dudes and welcome to my show, the first song is born to PARTY
you see i was born to PARTY, on a sarturday night
i don’t care what the oldies say, i will just party anyway
you see i have a reason, everything is going well
so i will just party hardy, yeah i feel so cool
i want to be like the young dudes of this land
and get into the party spirit every way i can
i don’t really need a reason, no, i am cool anyway
you see i was born to party, so i will do it anyway
i will sink into the ground man, wearing high heel shoes
i will go to my mates house, with dreams of moving in
he was a bit mental, as he couldn’t understand
that i was born to party, and that is what i do
you see we will grab a methane and squirt it everywhere
and then grab a beer or two, yeah that is quite yobboish
you see we get drunk which means we are high on life
every day of the yeah, so we were born to party
like the young dudes do, ya see don’t spike my drink, man
i am too cool for you, you see i have a point in life, to never
unattend my drink, you see i know the tablet will make you drowsy
so he could kidnap you, bu i am too cool for that
you see i was born to party, and that is what i do
i was born to party, fun for me and you
hi dudes and now here is rock the party
you see i feel like i am having fun rock the party rock the party
i wanna party while the night is young, rock the party rock the party
i cheer for the ACT brumbies, well, they lost well, they lost
you see the bar is a open a open a open, and the party is turning on all the party going dudes
and the beer is selling quickly along with the gassy methane, man
ready to tip the methane on us, man, we will party
you see i saw a house which was great, and my mate wanted me to move in
so i thought about it, it’ll be fun to party, fun to party fun to party on
moving on up and moving on down and marilyin monroe put on a broadway show on neptune so cool
then sam kinison sang wild thing, and i liked his add lib, you know my heart is longing for you dude
making you wanna scream, rock the party rock the party
then i ate some cheese and bacon *****, and gusted them down with coke
the party started to form in my mouth and making me feel so cool
before i went to sleep i listened to kiss, bon jovi and a broadway show, called spiderman
and i ate mars bars and drink juice, yeah that sounds so radical
saturday night is the night to rock the party rock the party
and i opened a keg of methane and tipped it all over adam walsh and brett
to improve the quality of the olsen twins, to make them PARTY again
so really we are getting into a great rock the party rock the party
and we’ll party all saturday night long
hi dudes and now here is another tune called my life is a stinker
you see last night i was wondering why i haven’t performed on stage
could it be that i was too **** shy, or was it i was just not ready
i really want it all so ****** much, to show the world how to party party
but this is how i just relax, and let my life pass me by
you see my life is a stinker, every day and night
i want to party, but it’s a secret just between you and me
you see i spend my money on fun and games, mainly done with alcohol
i buy my girl some raggedy old fashioned sort or doll
she yelled at me from 10 to 10, it was hard for me to cope
and the only way to get past this, is switch on the TV to hear the pope
my life is a stinker, every day and night, i wish you would leave me alone, please mate yeah alright
ooooooh cosmos
my way of entertainment is the poetry slam, and bad slam no biscuit yeah
i entertain everyone oh yeah, i shake their ****** boogie, yes my dear
then my name is called and i enter the stage and slam
my poetry like it’s a good thing, dude, every day and night
my life is a stinker, every day and night
you see we will party hardy every night, no i say no to fights
cause my life is a stinker, take me away from the psych ward
that isn’t the place for me, i am too nice for that place
hi dudes, and here is another song called fly burgers
fly burgers are good enough to eat
fly burgers are such a tasty treat
just catch a blowie between two buttered buns
add some lettuce and tomato and have so much fun
now at the footy, the flies are cooking on the plate
they are saying, momma, you are stopping up too late
just catch a well cooked blowie, and throw him in the bowl
where you have the burger mix, yeah that is so cold
fly burgers, are good enough to eat
fly burgers, are such a tasty treat
just catch a blowie between two buttered buns
add some lettuce and tomato
and have so much fun
in a restaurant a fly comes in and parks on the griller
you feel like honking like dharma’s old yeller
but instead you get two buttered buns and lettuce and tomato
get the fly and serve him up, tasty as gelato
fly burgers are good enough to eat
fly burgers are such a tasty treat
just catch a blowie between two buttered buns
add some lettuce and tomato’'
and have so much fun
in the summer friends drop round to enjoy the atmosphere
some bring coke some bring wine
and most of them brought beer
the bbq man noticed a fly upon his back
he gets the fly and serves him up, OH HERE JACK
fly burgers, are good enough to eat
fly burgers are such a tasty treat
just catch a blowie between two buttered buns
add some lettuce and tomato
and have so much fun
the hospital has been busy this year since fly burgers were on the menu
people say fly burgers put germs right in you
an old man and a young boy, both died of food poisoning
but nobody knows if it was the fly burgers that did them in
fly burgers are good enough to eat
fly burgers are such a tasty treat
just catch a blowie between two buttered buns
add some lettuce and tomato, my dray
and have some and have so and have so much fun
hi dudes, this is a song called i am a family party dude
i am a family person who is looking everywhere for a party
at the club on grand final daY, and on poetry slam day
where we yell out bad slam no biscuit bad slam no biscuit
all the ****** day, we could be celebrating your daughters graduation
from a school she so adored
then we drag out the old songs, and the young dudes get bored
you see partying is so much fun, no matter how hard you try
you see you try and be a fun loving guy like who really loves to p a r t y
oooh, i wanna rock and roll all night, and party every day
how much coffee do you drink to whisk the hangover away
i used to go to the blind beggars inn, to really let my hair down
now, i party at home with youtube, yeah that sounds so rad
you see i am a family party dude, who wants to have some fun
i want music and sport, yeah alrighty, that sounds like my type of fun
cool man, cool you, i say cool me, i am a family party dude
the man of the party is here, last night i went to the club to watch the brumbies they lost i won
the chance to go home and party in front of youtube, with bon jovi and kiss as well as spiderman the musical, pretty rad
then i fell asleep on the couch, ready to come to you, and show you how to party hardy, yeah that is true blue
hey true blue, don’t say the party’s over, just because you go home, doesn’t mean you can’t party
you see i used to go to night clubs and swing with the cool dudes there, hey true blue
you see i am a family party dude, i party everywhere
i am getting younger by the minute, and i still love life, so party on dudes, no fear
i get up late on sunday morning, after this great party in the stars
and after this, i will go to jupiter and neptune to muck around in bars
tipping methane all over everyone, yeah that sounds radical dude
PARTY PARTY PARTY on saturday night, yeah i am so cool
cool you, yeah cool me, the coolest dude of the cosmic realm
ready to party yeah we will
hi dudes and welcome to my show, the first song is born to PARTY
you see i was born to PARTY, on a sarturday night
i don’t care what the oldies say, i will just party anyway
you see i have a reason, everything is going well
so i will just party hardy, yeah i feel so cool
i want to be like the young dudes of this land
and get into the party spirit every way i can
i don’t really need a reason, no, i am cool anyway
you see i was born to party, so i will do it anyway
i will sink into the ground man, wearing high heel shoes
i will go to my mates house, with dreams of moving in
he was a bit mental, as he couldn’t understand
that i was born to party, and that is what i do
you see we will grab a methane and squirt it everywhere
and then grab a beer or two, yeah that is quite yobboish
you see we get drunk which means we are high on life
every day of the yeah, so we were born to party
like the young dudes do, ya see don’t spike my drink, man
i am too cool for you, you see i have a point in life, to never
unattend my drink, you see i know the tablet will make you drowsy
so he could kidnap you, bu i am too cool for that
you see i was born to party, and that is what i do
i was born to party, fun for me and you
hi dudes and now here is rock the party
you see i feel like i am having fun rock the party rock the party
i wanna party while the night is young, rock the party rock the party
i cheer for the ACT brumbies, well, they lost well, they lost
you see the bar is a open a open a open, and the party is turning on all the party going dudes
and the beer is selling quickly along with the gassy methane, man
ready to tip the methane on us, man, we will party
you see i saw a house which was great, and my mate wanted me to move in
so i thought about it, it’ll be fun to party, fun to party fun to party on
moving on up and moving on down and marilyin monroe put on a broadway show on neptune so cool
then sam kinison sang wild thing, and i liked his add lib, you know my heart is longing for you dude
making you wanna scream, rock the party rock the party
then i ate some cheese and bacon *****, and gusted them down with coke
the party started to form in my mouth and making me feel so cool
before i went to sleep i listened to kiss, bon jovi and a broadway show, called spiderman
and i ate mars bars and drink juice, yeah that sounds so radical
saturday night is the night to rock the party rock the party
and i opened a keg of methane and tipped it all over adam walsh and brett
to improve the quality of the olsen twins, to make them PARTY again
so really we are getting into a great rock the party rock the party
and we’ll party all saturday night long
hi dudes and now here is another tune called my life is a stinker
you see last night i was wondering why i haven’t performed on stage
could it be that i was too **** shy, or was it i was just not ready
i really want it all so ****** much, to show the world how to party party
but this is how i just relax, and let my life pass me by
you see my life is a stinker, every day and night
i want to party, but it’s a secret just between you and me
you see i spend my money on fun and games, mainly done with alcohol
i buy my girl some raggedy old fashioned sort or doll
she yelled at me from 10 to 10, it was hard for me to cope
and the only way to get past this, is switch on the TV to hear the pope
my life is a stinker, every day and night, i wish you would leave me alone, please mate yeah alright
ooooooh cosmos
my way of entertainment is the poetry slam, and bad slam no biscuit yeah
i entertain everyone oh yeah, i shake their ****** boogie, yes my dear
then my name is called and i enter the stage and slam
my poetry like it’s a good thing, dude, every day and night
my life is a stinker, every day and night
you see we will party hardy every night, no i say no to fights
cause my life is a stinker, take me away from the psych ward
that isn’t the place for me, i am too nice for that place
hi dudes, and here is another song called fly burgers
fly burgers are good enough to eat
fly burgers are such a tasty treat
just catch a blowie between two buttered buns
add some lettuce and tomato and have so much fun
now at the footy, the flies are cooking on the plate
they are saying, momma, you are stopping up too late
just catch a well cooked blowie, and throw him in the bowl
where you have the burger mix, yeah that is so cold
fly burgers, are good enough to eat
fly burgers, are such a tasty treat
just catch a blowie between two buttered buns
add some lettuce and tomato
and have so much fun
in a restaurant a fly comes in and parks on the griller
you feel like honking like dharma’s old yeller
but instead you get two buttered buns and lettuce and tomato
get the fly and serve him up, tasty as gelato
fly burgers are good enough to eat
fly burgers are such a tasty treat
just catch a blowie between two buttered buns
add some lettuce and tomato’'
and have so much fun
in the summer friends drop round to enjoy the atmosphere
some bring coke some bring wine
and most of them brought beer
the bbq man noticed a fly upon his back
he gets the fly and serves him up, OH HERE JACK
fly burgers, are good enough to eat
fly burgers are such a tasty treat
just catch a blowie between two buttered buns
add some lettuce and tomato
and have so much fun
the hospital has been busy this year since fly burgers were on the menu
people say fly burgers put germs right in you
an old man and a young boy, both died of food poisoning
but nobody knows if it was the fly burgers that did them in
fly burgers are good enough to eat
fly burgers are such a tasty treat
just catch a blowie between two buttered buns
add some lettuce and tomato, my dray
and have some and have so and have so much fun
hi dudes, this is a song called i am a family party dude
i am a family person who is looking everywhere for a party
at the club on grand final daY, and on poetry slam day
where we yell out bad slam no biscuit bad slam no biscuit
all the ****** day, we could be celebrating your daughters graduation
from a school she so adored
then we drag out the old songs, and the young dudes get bored
you see partying is so much fun, no matter how hard you try
you see you try and be a fun loving guy like who really loves to p a r t y
oooh, i wanna rock and roll all night, and party every day
how much coffee do you drink to whisk the hangover away
i used to go to the blind beggars inn, to really let my hair down
now, i party at home with youtube, yeah that sounds so rad
you see i am a family party dude, who wants to have some fun
i want music and sport, yeah alrighty, that sounds like my type of fun
cool man, cool you, i say cool me, i am a family party dude
the man of the party is here, last night i went to the club to watch the brumbies they lost i won
the chance to go home and party in front of youtube, with bon jovi and kiss as well as spiderman the musical, pretty rad
then i fell asleep on the couch, ready to come to you, and show you how to party hardy, yeah that is true blue
hey true blue, don’t say the party’s over, just because you go home, doesn’t mean you can’t party
you see i used to go to night clubs and swing with the cool dudes there, hey true blue
you see i am a family party dude, i party everywhere
i am getting younger by the minute, and i still love life, so party on dudes, no fear
i get up late on sunday morning, after this great party in the stars
and after this, i will go to jupiter and neptune to muck around in bars
tipping methane all over everyone, yeah that sounds radical dude
PARTY PARTY PARTY on saturday night, yeah i am so cool
cool you, yeah cool me, the coolest dude of the cosmic realm
ready to party yeah we will