I will

open up and say

when your eyes met mine

I drowned

in their kindness

Thinking of that small embrace

in such a public place,

what's to hide

Well, I hid the happiness

that filled up inside

When it came time

to meet in the middle

I withered

under that intense heat

of your smile

radiating towards me

I was

surprised by my passion

The world around me slipped away

and I lost myself

for a  few moments

At the end of our day together

I retreated

back into myself

wishing that

the world would stand still

I think

our souls seem kindred to one another

Like love, pain and possibility

is a pattern piece

and we are

the flesh it was all sown into.

©ShawnaRenea

Yet I have always found it easy to pretend
that nothing really matters to me
but it's a thought that's harder to defend

I know that it is just fear
that's always pushing me away
but now my heart inches near

But I am bracing myself for the break
I am longing to feel, surrender, to fall
not ever knowing how much I can take

I know I have built a wall around my heart
all this time I have been waiting
for someone to tear it apart.

©ShawnaRenea

On 530 Twilight
I sit here in the solitude
waiting for the night
For the moment I have found peace
in the chaos of the life
escaped from those looking for their piece

Suddenly I feel the air
blowing up through the trees
quietly stirring my hair
Takes me back to moments lost in time
reminding me of summer nights
at 401 Vine

©ShawnaRenea

As you look into my eyes

I want you to think of me

as the leaves in a tree, not only

as you sink into their peaceful green lull

but to remember me

as beautiful and care free

Look towards the branches

stretching to the sky and think

of the way my arms crossed the space

between you and I

to tentatively embrace you, afraid to

open up and reach into the unknown

As do all things there is cycle

and change is inevitable

but as I start to age

like the rings of a tree and resemblance

begins between weathered bark

and wrinkled skin, remember then

when I was a young sapling

so afraid of life but ready to live

©ShawnaRenea

She screams

at no one

and at everyone

really she screams

so she can feel alive

she is so numb

she is really just angry

that her life is a like

watching a silent film

so she screams

to fill some void

to cover up her mistakes

me, her first mistake

runs out

slamming the screen door

I am always running

running, running away

I can never get away

I retreat

into the only place

that I can escape

my mind

far from the noise

In my mind

I try to erase

all the pain

the hands across my face

blood spilling

from my mouth

bruises and welts

grazes my body

This is too much

to erase,

to retreat from,

I hide these scars

scars from the life

I'm trying to leave behind

©ShawnaRenea

Let this

poet cry herself

to sleep 'cause this

wounded heart is breaking me

The death-bird is spread across my back

wet eyes, voice cracks, choked cries

Why do I try to make this fit?

Can't put the pieces

back together

again

©ShawnaRenea

It's gonna be
one of these days
when we leave the past behind.

It's gonna be
one of these hours
when I look to the stars.

It's gonna be
one of these minutes
when you find away into my heart.

It's gonna be
one these seconds
when I just let myself go.

I will wait
for the day, the hour, the minute, the second
when our love starts to flower.

©ShawnaRenea

Never
had you
to hold
on to me
yet you
always
felt that you
needed me
  to hold
on to you
Always
there was
a void
nothing
tangible
never
palpable
to grasp
onto  
never
was there
any resonance
of true love
for me
to grasp
onto

©ShawnaRenea

My intentions were clouded
I never knew if it was you I needed
you never had thought that
I would rip your heart out
But now I am looking
at your shattered beating heart
bleeding on the ground
If I knew that that was how
it was gonna be
I would never had tried
wouldn't put you through
the struggle and suffering
I know you are the one
that's leaning on the idea
that everything's ok
that nothing's wrong
I knew it was over
when you sat there talking
excited, saying you love me
and I faintly said I love you too
that's when I knew...
I said with regret
it isn't you it is me

©ShawnaRenea