Camel Blues protruding from the right hip pocket
Of your too-tight skinny jeans
Containing the gracefullest legs
You're a tower.

You've left your mark on me
In more ways than one
And I fell to pieces, leaking colors through the cracks
Like none I'd known were there

But you aren't going to pull me close again
Or run your knowledgeable hands
Over my worn-cotton white skin,

Alas.

Truth:
I am alone
I am lost
I am numb

It was easier
And far less embarrassing
To tell you:
"Please, **** me again..."
Than to admit the truth
To myself
To you

“When do you feel sexiest?”

kisses liquor-infused whipped cream
and a broken remote.
A new comforter.
red and blue blinds
throbbing beyond my eyelids—
“you’re falling asleep”
no I’m not
Chest hair curlicues
iron on the floor
cement block with contact lenses
and condensation from early morning.
kisses sighs fresh sheets
and a broken remote.

“Get naked”
all naked or just a little naked?
new haircut stolen DVD’s kisses
on cocoa butter skin—
where’s the remote?
Nighttime spasms.
Legs and diaphragm.

kisses liquor skin wet –
sweat and strawberry flavored love.

A,B,C, or D?
definitely A.
Missionaries.
Sensual.
Another movie and a
fresh pair of sheets.
kisses liquor and a
broken remote.

You said you loved me.
But you lied.

You said you wish you could see me every minute of the day.
You knew it was nothing true.
What could a lie do?

You promised you would never leave me and never hurt me.
If it were true
Then i wouldn't be sitting here all alone without you.

How can you say there was nothing in the way you look at me?
That you never really loved me?
How can you lie to my face without a disgrace?

You said you'd fix my heart.
You never ever did.

I pulled the last petal from the flower.
And.
it was love me not.

And I thunder through a forest restored.
The crash of crisp, fast water against the rocks,
splashing this way and that,
sapphire to clear and all shades of blue.
The golden hour is upon us.
The light of the sun shines down,
glitter against my coat,
my legs stretching out to feel the soil beneath my feet.
I ran like the wind that flowed against my sides,
lifting me as I bounded step after step,
flagging the wind, panting for air to grace my heaving lungs.
Pines tall and alive, branches dropping dew onto the forest floor.
And the ocean roared high against the cliffs,
sparkling mist onto the tall-tower lighthouse.
A never ending sunrise.
A smile stretches across my lips,
churning up sand under restless claws.
I run forever just to breathe the air and laugh,
in utter celebration that you are here,
that the trees are alive and the sun shines.
My cries echo across space and time,
while I keep pulling the earth to race me
past these trees and flowers forever.
The blooms of red and gold, pink, yellow,
all so vivid against my eyes, silver in the light.
I will run forever.
I'll be free forever.

I wish I could take hold of these words
and these letters
and mash them together
tie them together
use steel veins to chain them together
and create something so grotesquely beautiful,
something so dissonant and so lovely,
that the world would be shocked
into uncontrollable fits of laughter
and bouts of tears spurred by sudden shared sorrow and
love would roll over every hill and
seep into every brook
every vein in which infatuation was present
would glow
and we wouldn’t have the wear hearts on sleeves
or buy roses that cost extra with bows
or even use our vocal chords at all
because we would see it.
we would see it.
we would see the love,
see the moonstruck fools who make these worlds go ‘round.
and every single one of us
would light the night with affection.
carpe noctum, carpe amāre  
and it is during the nights where the inky vast dark floods my ear drums
that I want to dust off the shelves of my mind
and I want to find you there
want to find me there
I want to find everyone
and I want to grab them
and shake them
and wake them up
I want to them tell them where they were
I want to scream from the rooftops,
“HERE YOU ARE!! YOU ARE NOT LOST!!”
I want to give everyone the key to the room in my head
where they stay most nights
I want them to feel like they have a home
even if they already have a home
they can have a second home here
but I want everyone to have somewhere
they feel they belong
a place where they always know what the living room smells like
where the furniture welcomes them
where the stains have stories
that are full of hilarity and embarrassment that pales roses
I want everyone to know
that we are all home
if home is where the heart is
them home is where you are
your belongings are what you can carry
what you carry at all times
the words in your head
the flavors on your tongue
the patches of healed skin on your arms and legs and shoulders and elbows
the things you have seen
they are what you own
what no one can take from you
no matter where you live
where you reside
where you spend your days or nights
you are your home