The reason I write through the tears at night
Is to get it all out--and if I get it just right,
If I use pretty words like catharsis and plight
And if they rhyme like a song, I think they just might
Make the pain a bit prettier, a bit softer, a bit light.

will you be my notebook?
let me write on your body
the poetry of my soul,
the sensual musings of my mind…
the paper, your skin
the ink, our combined sweat
my tongue, the instrument used to pen
my words, soft kisses creating
stanzas, fingertips soliciting sighs, growls...
you like that line, caro?
i thought you would.

will you be my patient?
let me heal your heart
with mine, your body
with my touch...
i can see here
that your heart was once broken
your soul ravaged
by sweetly singing sirens
promising life-long happiness
and an end to loneliness
but who turned out to be
man-eating liars who desecrated you
and fragmented you
and hurt you
and broke you...
but with my tears, i will show you
you are needed,
you are loved.
with my kiss, i open
the door to your cage
with my lips, i break
the chains binding your heart
and with my breath, i revive
your soul, making you whole again.

will you be my eternity?
let me look forward to spending my life
with you,
graduating university
with you,
marrying
you,
honeymooning in italy
with you,
having my twins
with you,
working
with you,
waking up every morning
with you,
doing the simple things in life
with you,
growing old
with you,
dying
with you...
let me love you
all the days of my life
with my heart, body, mind, soul
with my poetry, hands, lips, breath
with the essence of who i am...

will you let me love you?
will you let me heal you?
will you let me keep you?
will you let me?
will you?

My Madeline, my dear.
Forever was made inn the image of us.
I love you.
Your everything.
Sinners and saints.
Bad and good.
Were leaning more towards the worst side of things.
But it suits us.
We are each other.
Your me and im you.
No plain days.
No bordem.
Nothings ever dull.
But the truth is i hate you.
I hate you so much for being so much better then me.
At everything.
I love it though.
I love the fact i know i'll never live up to ever be as good as you.
I might be telling lies.
But i do love you.
Darling i love you.

It was Wednesday morning service
in the church next to the school
and Helen sat next to you

in the old wooden pew
her eyes peering
behind her thick lens glasses

at you and she whispered
your mum’s meeting my mum
in the street market after school

and then we’re going to my house
for a cup of tea
and I can show you

my doll’s house
that my dad made
out of an orange box

and it’s got lights
and everything
you leaned your head

towards her and said
in a low voice
oh right yes that’ll be good

hoping none of your mates
could hear
especially Cogan

who only the other week
threatened to ****** your nose
but he didn’t show after school

and she smiled
and you looked at the altar
where the vicar

was lighting candles
and Mrs Murphy
was walking down the aisle  

like an aging storm trooper
in her hand knitted cardigan
and brown pleated skirt

Helen whispered
and you can see
the tiny furniture

I’ve got too  
that my mum bought
from a second hand shop

off the market
you looked at her
sitting there

in her grey jumper
and white blouse
and grey skirt

and her plaited hair
parted in the middle
and her bright eyes

magnified by the glass lens
and you said
I look forward to it

and she rubbed your hand
with hers
and then looked ahead

at the lighted candles
and sniffed in the incense
in the air and her hand

moved to pick up
a hymn book
and you sensed where

her hand had been
like some angel’s touch
as if to bless

well that’s what
it seemed like to you
more or less.

i don't know if i can write anymore
you're all that's left in my words
screaming and shouting and trying
and i doubt i'm ever really heard

i don't know if i can think anymore
a cold shower doesn't take away the pain
regression and progression know no path
they leave me here, all the same

i don't know if i can cry anymore
too many diamonds escaped their vaults
instead i am numb... or maybe just too patient
instead, i'll accept each and every fault

i don't know if i cant drink anymore
liquid encouragement only hides hours
but they pounce and they leap
proving to bring down the highest tower

i don't know if i can sleep anymore
i've tried and i've tried
but my theory is broken...
look, i've cried and i've cried