Lay my head to rest on the pillow of sleeplessness and nightmares, the painting of my life on the canvass of linen and tweed and fears. Hiding scars and screams that dream and leave me lonely still. Restless thoughts that carry over restless wandering lives lost, unbeating hearts frozen to unliving and unfeeling wills.

Thirty pieces of Judas, seller of sons. Why do you run betrayer? Silver trust severed and scatter to marble steps, for a slaves wage to be paid! Unafraid for your friends as they slept, betrayed, as you left. Soon to die, rope to tree tied, you then ponder how a peaceful man becomes the original monster.

Ripped apart at the seams, the pain, the screams, heavy breathing and dreams, the raven on razor blade wings. And there you dance on golden strings, the marionette of my nightmare things and all things shown to be true. And there you are, right there where I left you, and there you are, right there where I loved you.

You can find me there, in your hopes, in your dreams. The places you forgot when you closed the book on a life so intangible; now break the manacles and run, and you can find me there, need me there as the bullet needs the gun in the breaking light of day. run, run, run....and I will be there waiting....

I sit here looking out at him
From across the distance
I can see his eyes
He is looking at me too

I am the infidel he fears
The invader of his lands
In a war waged by politicians

There’s a sheen of sweat
Beading on his forehead
His beard gently swaying in the breeze
It’s almost tranquil

As if time stopped
Just for me
And in that second
Hours tick away

The sun gleams brightly
Off his white head dress
And the whites of his eyes
As they widen

He is yelling something
Though I don’t understand
I don’t speak his language
Don’t really want to

But I see him

I wonder if he’s a husband
Or a father
I wonder what he did before this
I wonder would it matter

Because I know he is the enemy
They told me so
Then put me here

All these thoughts
All these observations
Happened in an instant

In the time it took
To level our weapons
At each other
From across the distance

His is an AK-47
It looks old
It looks dangerous
Pointed at me like that

I pulled the trigger
And walked away
He stopped yelling

And I knew
If only for a moment
That one day would come
When someone would look at me
From across the distance

Would they have similar thoughts?
When my day came
Would they understand the words?
As I yelled them

Would they know?
That their day would also come?

Or am I the only one
Who understands?
That this is what it is
To live by the sword

Angry Onion of doom
Teeth that eat the tomato
Laugh in your bowl of spaghetti

Cuddly sheep
Eat the lions and weep
In front of the candy store

Bored circus clowns
Faces painted
With laughing frowns
Drive away in your fancy car

Have I gone too far?
Has it sunk in and made sense
Or have I lost all sense meaning?
Just like politics.

I walked barefoot across the nameless tiles, littered with remnants of the stained glass windows of my broken dreams. I walked for lifetimes, or so it seems, over the twisted kaleidoscope of my wishful thinking and failures. Embracing the pain in the hopes that such beautiful shards would leave beautiful wounds. The footprints left in blood were my history scrawled across the nightingale floor, like so many broken swords washed upon the shore, forgotten by the hands of slain warriors in their rusted armor and bones. Left alone with nowhere to go, when you were the home I came to know. Those stone walls that sheltered me from the cold protecting the ragged edges of my tattered soul, which long since crumbled to dust. Leaving me exposed to the graceful storm, the whipping wind and driving rain. This is my life, this beautiful history of pain.