The sheer magnitude of what hung in suspension above me
The faint glimpses of the milky way galaxy iridescent and lovely
Desert sand the bed I longed for all this time
Trapped in awe I feel the stars shine
Down onto my skin caked with dust from whipping winds
Eyes set to what feels like heaven begging to be let in
Unaware I'm engulfed in it from the dust to silt to the limestone that warms my weathered soul
I can't fathom what holds
These stars above me immersed in their glory
Finally a part of all that lies before me
Never more at home than I am at this instant
Finally seeing I'm not looking at the fabric of the universe but rather I'm woven in it

When these boots return from foreign lands
Covered with worn in dirt and desert sand
Tattered and worn down as the look in my eyes
May you be there, patiently awaiting my
Hopeful return from distant soil and raging seas
May you be there, waiting for me
My uniform faded from days under the sun on continents that are not my own
May you be there, waiting safe at home
My hands worn and rough as leather, but still as gentle as you remember
May you be there, after this long venture
Comes to a close
May you be there, you're all I long to hold
May you be there, should I ever make it home...

This is not goodbye
Dry your lovely brown eyes
That I find mine
So often locked in a stare
Though I'm aware
Of the dangers that lie ahead
Rest peacefully in your bed
Knowing somewhere out there in an ocean vast and blue
I'm riding out the storms, coming home to you
A love that's true
Know that even as the world around me burns
This is not goodbye, I will brave the fires and to you I will return...

I never folded the hand dealt
facing your ice cold poker stare, feeling mine melt
as I knelt
in the pools of water, jeans soaked through
There was always an ace up my sleeve, until I gave it to you
gave you the innermost intimate memories that I held as my last ditch safety net
I never folded the hand dealt, only upped the bet
in false hopes this bluff was enough
to call you all in on your false love...

The mistakes I've made
become the ammunition you stockpile in this emotional arm's race
promises we break
dig at my heart's cave
that I hide in throughout our love's cold war
but it's ventricles
become tentacles
begging that I don't hand it over
grasping at my rib cage
pleading to stay
ripping my chest, waiting on a truce
an armistice in the separation of you...

I've felt the walls of my reality creep in upon me, collapsing like the sand castles of my younger days
felt the very fabric of my essence be sewn together only to wash away
I've felt the sun's over saturated ultra violets waves
splash upon my freckled skin
I've knock on the closed door of opportunity, begging fate to let me in
but fate stayed out late, so I waited on destiny
to take the rest of me
crumpled upon a doormat, waiting on a monumental shift
that until that moment did not exist
fortune favors the bold, but satan favors the cold
desolate misguided eyes of a child waiting
I'm stubbornly patient
when the words dance on the tip of your tongue
I felt the blood rush to my legs as I beckoned them to run
run from the concept of what I had become
felt the walls creep in, taunting them to come...

Home
for the first time, leaving weighs heavy on my heart
a mother's tears to a son's depart
my father's arms warm welcome, and longer goodbye
a brother's tear swelled eyes
a sister's choked up voice, cracking as I take my time of absence
for the first time I knew what that meant
Home
the brick foundation that keeps my childhood from running out the door down those steps
for the first time, my heart weighs heavy as I left...