She left and it was hard.
Or maybe I left but it was still hard..
Let's say they left, our bodies.
My soul didn't yet
my soul is still there
There where my heart stayed.
She left,
But happily I can still feel her,
Smell her
And touch what she once touched
I'm wearing that necklace which isn't like others
I'm wearing her necklace that she once wore
Everytime I look at it I see her
A part of her
That I will never take off.
Hugging her favorite doll
I feel her I feel her appearance with hugging it.
I can't wait until I wear her hoodie
I can't wait to feel myself inside her
She left, I left, we left
But not like any other time before
I left without myself, my soul or my heart.
I left with only a self that switched to be her.

She was the last perfect thing I ended my month with
And she was the first perfect thing I started the next with
I'm kind of afraid, afraid that I'll see nothing perfect anymore
Don't blame me,
Don't blame, you never looked into her sparkling eyes, heard her voice or felt her soft hards..
Never felt her indescribable hug, never touched her skin, never taste her eatable lips..
Don't blame me,
How can I like a smell that isn't hers,
How can I enjoy a laugh..
Or stare at someone..
That isn't her,
How can I, how can I like a girl after her.

Our last place, last hope
She left our last one
The one we both were ignoring, to see each other
I'm hurting, and she's as well
She left it
She wasn't strong enough to see me laughing without her
She left and acted cold
She doesn't care she said
Girl it isn't you or me who decide
It's the red heart what's inside
I almost believed
Almost believed if I couldn't see it through your eyes
But I still don't understand
Our hearts beat each others name
Our eyes are tearing the pain
Why are we doing such a lame?
We're dying, dying to be each others main
Why can't we just be?
Why is it so hard to do?
Anyway,
Who cares..
Even she, she left..

Day after day
Night after another
Still ourselves
Lots of lost thoughts, of lost energy
Nothing..
Nothing is changing
Not getting better
Days are passing
Dreams are still in it cages
Waiting for nothing
Just a consent
An accepter of who we are
A believer of our working brains
A lawyer to free our screaming dreams

Just a place
Where it's not illegal to talk your mind

Don't ask how am I after leaving me for months.. don't ask me..
You have left.. But left with a soul of mine..
Don't ask me how am I, while you're holding the soul which made me alive..
And by asking me how, you think I'm still alive?
You think that I can live a life without a soul?
Don't ask me.. Im the one who should ask..
How's my soul? Is it living a life without a body?
Is it living? or just spent the rest of it staring at you?

Closing my eyes to forget
Closing it to ignore
I'm closing my eyes
To make some self peace
To make it easier
I'm closing it to be unable to see
To be unable to remember the words
To be unable to read what killed me once
Closing it to have a way to get you back
Closing it to stop thinking about the past
Closing it for my own self for my own health
Or maybe I'm just closing it because it's the only way to see you..

A whole new life we're going to start we said
We start living a new good one at first
Second and third..
But slowly you find yourself back to who you are
To what you do
And how you think..
And slowly you find yourself back to the same dark room
Thinking about the same black thoughts
With the same people you said you will never think about
It's sad, isn't it?
How the same cage can bring you back to it
Put you and lock you again
Spending days and days finding an escape
But all you need is another more few days to get you back to it..