I forgot,
Today,
To pick
A beat
To set
My flow.
Instead,
I found
The rushing
Of my breath
And the creaking
Of my bones
And the popping
Of my joints
And the whispered screeching
Of my muscles
In the silence.
I remembered,
Today,
To hear
My flow
Set my beat.
And the closing chords
Were lovely.

I peer
Towards the flame
From behind
The gauze of,
“I wish,”
And
“What if,”
And
“Why can’t,”
And it is dark
There.
And it is dark
Until
My breathing seeps
Between the edges
Separating
Wishes from
Cants
And why nots
From what ifs.
And here
I am now
In the clear
Flickering
Light
Of the morning.

My mat
Feels
Somehow
Simultaneously
Too big
For the small
Space
I’ve squeezed
Myself
Into
And
Too small
To contain
What’s leaking
From
My bursted seams.

First,
I found
My feet.
My toes,
And heels,
And arches.
They dug in deep
And I reached.
Next my legs
Emerged,
My calves,
And shins,
And thighs.
They thickened
And I soared.
And in the end,
I bent
Into feet and legs,
Muscle and bone,
And found grace.

Some days
I have
To shut
My eyes
And listen
To find
My way
Into my skin.
Body still,
I fill my lungs
And lay
Breath
Down
With intention
Crumb
By
Crumb.
And for a moment,
I am full.

I pause
The grinding
Mindwork
To find
My pieces
Scrambled and
Scattered
About.
A hope here.
A doubt there.
A glimpse of a memory
That always leaves me
Guilty.
I pause.
And breathe
Space
Between the gears.
I pause
And stretch
Time
Between the beats.
And with spacetime
Set aside,
My pieces slip into place.

My body
Arrives,
Still
Hot and
Driving
The beat
Of my run.
And the Practice
It finds there
Is more rest
Than rhythm
More stillness
Than shifts.
And I breathe
Into body
Over and over
As my mind
Insists
We move on.