It is three am again
My thoughts are killing me
The bank where I held all this back
Is announcing bankruptcy 

The most crowded place right now
Is along my upper thigh
Because in the early hours
I like to play with knives

I'm growing bored all by myself
I'm making faces in the mirror
Watching reruns of AHS
And reading books on things I fear

I'm googling how to not be bored
And laughing at stupid things
Humming along to Disney songs
(and only humming because I can't sing)

I'm painting my nails a bright shade of blue
And calculating my cat's human age
When I realized how precise I was trying to be
I recognized the low of my crazy stage

I still order chicken strips
(with a side of fries)
And when my cartoons go off
Sometimes I have to cry

I still kick my covers off
And refuse to sleep with socks
And when I go to the candy store
I still get sugar rocks

My Barbies still have boyfriends
(and better hair than me!)
My dessert is still 99% sprinkles
And 1% ice cream

My stuffed animals still have names
And they have feelings, too
I can't sleep with only one
I invite the whole **** crew!

I still have my night light
(shh! Don't tell my friends!)
And my math is still not very good
"5 plus 5 is 10!?!"

Despite my inner child
And my silly pointless fears
It seems in 15 years of living
I've aged a hundred years

I'd jump in the snow stark naked
I'd run a mile without any shoes
I'd finally be able to say half the things
That I've always wanted to tell you

I'd let a hungry dog bite me
I'd walk through Satan's flame trail
I'd do anything I felt it would take
To make this pain that you've caused me to pale

I'd finally speak my opinion
I could tell you that I think you are dumb
I'd finally be able to "grow a pair" (as you told me)
If only I could be numb

Savannah is dead
And nobody cares
Throw her dead carcass
Down the old wooden stairs

Open  the door
And let in the bugs
Let them feast on her body
By that old persian rug

With worms in her mouth
And lice in her hair
If you listen closely
She's still crying for care

Dead and still waiting
for the love that she sought
For someone to care
To her last breath she fought

At loss for words
All feeling is dead
I can't get your image
Out of my head

I was so cold
With no room for a heart
I parted a way
And held it apart

You gave me a heart
A reason to love
Your heart was snug in my chest
Like a perfectly fit glove

It pumped for some time
It left it's own mark
It took over the room
I left for the dark

You ripped it away
Still beating and all
With a hole bearing chest
You left me to fall

I didn't reform
Your shape is still there
But with quite a difference.
It's now full of air.

I'm left with a scar
A reminder of you
And no one will fit me
Like the way that you do

I My mind is kind of foggy
I don't remember much at all
I went to sleep with everything
And I've woke with no recall

But there seems to be a memory
Still itching in my mind
I tried to force it; pull it through
But I think it just needs time

I sat there for a moment
And it finally came through
I was so relieved my last memory
Was one I shared with you

Of all my memories I could choose
This one would sure be it
The one where your lips touched my cheek
And butterflies threw their fits