Words dance in my mind;
Words that don't mean a thing.
Words run away when I need them most.
Words tease and taunt me.
Words are supposed to be my own;
Words who form my thoughts;
Words I should be in control of.
Words mean everything.
Words mend hearts and break them.
Words pierce the soul, melt the brain.

I'm not living,
I am surviving.

Every time I die,
I keep reviving.

Let me taste your lips on my skin. 
Your heart next to mine. 
Can we just lay here?

But no, you had to leave. 

Again. 

I hate your job. 
How you always leave me for it. 

But something tells me you're not always 
"just working late". 

Maybe its how distant you've been lately. 
Or maybe its how you smell like cheap perfume. 

But when I come home to find another girl in our bed, 
That my dear, is where I draw the line. 

Kicking and screaming,
You're gonna have to drag me out. 

Yeah, you better run out of this house. 
You'll have a nice surprise when you get back. 

Clothes scattered everywhere, 
Vases broken, 
Records scratched. 

You have to admit, 
I did good at getting back.

Our love is like a cancer.
I’m fighting for my life again.

Stage One.

The first time you appeared,
you filled my brain with affection,
that felt as if it were like oxygen,
a necessity for my survival.

You came on to me,
fast and overpowering,  
feelings I hadn’t felt before,
you and only you is what I grasp onto.
I can’t eat but slowly you consume me.  

Our love is like a cancer.
I’m fighting for my life again.

Stage Two.

I like turns into I love,
my affection for you is growing like a sponge,
soaking up every bit you can give to me.

Little did I know you were a poisonous being,
embedding yourself into my brain you ***** wretch,  
clouding my emotions by threading my prefrontal cortex with detrimental lies.

Our love is like a cancer.
I’m fighting for my life again.

Stage Three.

The symptoms are there,
yelling loud and clear like an angry father,
when curfew wasn’t met.

My reality becomes evident when I see your hand in hers,
I become trapped in an ache that I can internally feel,
and that others can physically see in my figure.
I decide to cut you out like a surgeon
and try to mend the pieces that are severed.

Our love is like a cancer.
I’m fighting for my life again.

Stage Four.

I try to heal but it seems to be no use,
the ache persists not only in my head,
but has spread to my heart.
My body is conquered by chemical reactions like chemotherapy,
trying to wipe out the memories we have created and disease you are to me.

But still my body, my soul is weak and fragile
like a dry leaf in autumn,
crumbling,
only after time will it be able to remise.

Our love is like a cancer.
I’m fighting for my life again.

Remission.

You are vacant from me,
but you will always linger.

My Pillow gazes upon me at night
Empty as a gravestone;
I never thought it would be so bitter
To be alone,
Not to lie down asleep in your hair.

I lie alone in a silent house,
The hanging lamp darkened,
And gently stretch out my hands
To gather in yours,
And softly press my warm mouth
Toward you, and kiss myself, exhausted and weak-
Then suddenly I'm awake
And all around me the cold night grows still.
The star in the window shines clearly-
Where is your blond hair,
Where your sweet mouth?

Now I drink pain in every delight
And poison in every wine;
I never knew it would be so bitter
To be alone,
Alone, without you.

Dearest one, when I am dead
  Never seek to follow me.
    Never mount the quiet hill
    Where the copper leaves are still,
  As my heart is, on the tree
Standing at my narrow bed.

Only of your tenderness,
  Pray a little prayer at night.
    Say: "I have forgiven now--
    I, so weak and sad; O Thou,
  Wreathed in thunder, robed in light,
Surely Thou wilt do no less."

I used to look out the window and wish to the stars,
I used to wonder if people can live on Mars,
I used to cry myself to sleep,
I used to never want to eat,
The pain you left hurt me to deep,
that you were all I ever see,
I used to love the sweet dreams of you,
I used to wish you think of me to,
I used to hope for our love one day,
But I knew the day will never stay,
I used to fantasize about the love we would make,
Your hands over my body in every intake,
Though they were only dreams,
Why did they seem so real to me?

From that day on we haven't talked since then it's all just short glances in the halls. It's like there is something going on in your mind that makes you do these things, no one knows what it is but i've tried to save you from it from making you decide something horrible. I still don't know all i know is I still really ******* love you with all my heart. You have my heart in a jar always beside you, pretty soon you're going to throw it hard to the ground to shatter my heart, since you kept tightening the jar each day you loved me. Now that love is fading away and you keep trying to open the jar and give it back. Instead you don't want to deal with it anymore. You look at it ever now and then and think if you still do love me or if you don't at all. I know you're just a confused young boy but don't always take advice from the ones who don't know what love fully is or means.