4 AM and here I am
Still awake
Looking for nowhere
My walls are empty
But my mind are fully
Thinkin in what
I don't give a ****.
They are thoughts
And they are enough.
Tonight is cold
And the stars are gold
It makes no sense
What is in my conscience
Body is warm
The clock tic tac
Now it's four and thirty
And I'm thirsty
Not for a drink
But for a dream.
And it still make no sense
What is in my conscience
Or wait,
Maybe I'm not awake.
Now make any sense
This talk with my inconscience.

*by Liliana Farinha

No matter how old we get Any
Man of Mine will always
remind me of you and teeter totters
and long curly hair pulled
back into perfectly parted
piggytails. I hope you
carry a little piece of me
wherever you go in life
(and you're going to go big
places, I'm sure of it) and
know that your heart
can always find mine
because you're the only
place my heart has had
any sort of safe home.

I wasn't prepared for your
kind of love. It made my
hands burn and my teeth
throb and my chest could
never fill all the way with
your smell- like cigarettes
and toothpaste and old
spice- and sometimes I
think I can feel you but
I'm always
      always
      always wrong and it's
never you. And I think
maybe that's okay.

I want to get over
the sound of your
voice on that hilltop-
smooth and quiet
and gliding into my
stomach like the best
ice cream I've ever
had. My heart has
had so much
          t
          r
          o
          u
          b
­          l
          e
finding a hiding
place outside of
your mouth.

I'm trying to figure out what
lie to tell you (I was sick I
worked late I lost track of
time) because I don't know
how to tell you it made me
physically ill to think I
would have to sit and watch
you be red-faced and in
love and about to start this
brave journey with a girl
who isn't me.

Today my makeup
was gone by noon
and I didn't take a
shower and I only
slept for three hours
last night so my
eyes were extra
puffy and I ate too
much at lunch and
had an attitude the
next time we saw
each other afterwards,
but you still gave
me a hug and told me
it was valued at
twenty thousand
hugs and you still
told me I looked
beautiful even
though we both
know it wasn't true.
And I can't
                    stop
                             smiling.
So, thank you.

Your name is the loveliest word
I've ever said. In my life
I've never known someone like you.
Your aura is a quilt
that I could spend all day in
if you'd let me.
I think the chances of me meeting
another you are absurd
and I find the whole idea
to be terrifying.
I could make so much room
for you in my heart.