As i lay in pain staring at a photo of my deceased nan wishing things were the same. The day she died i felt an emptiness but this emptiness i am feeling right now i can't explain as ****** has ravaged me from vein to vein. The sweats the ***** yeah i'm truly in bits i have the devil sitting on one shoulder telling me to run straight back to a fix. This is the start of an evil hellish game finding the strength from within is driving me completely insane. I lay in the bath i can barely talk each days getting better at least thats what i thought my bodies all contorted twisted and lean the last time i'd eaten was 2 weeks ago it seems. As i look deep into my heart I try hard for this to not tear me apart  but I know i'm never going back to that deadly sin as i think about the future and sort of smile from within. To give your soul to drugs your gonna pay the price your family your friends or even your wife its something i learned long time ago drugs will take everything  that you ever owned. The smell of it the hell of it ****** is a curse it will drain every single penny out of your purse.

******* and your lovely ghost of love
Haunting me just when I ******* learnt to let go
I ******* ache for your presence
That low **** thrum of your voice
That devil may care loving in your eyes
That ghostly touch of unwilling passion
Burning through my defences
The warmth of your war
Invading my senses
We were only ever meant for hurting
Striking each other with painful blows
I wish you never told me that senseless ******* word
Wish you never meant it at all
I wish you never tore me to shreds
Wish you never made me whole
Locked me up in your heart,
And we never even kissed
Will it ever ******* end?
The thrill of you?
I'm so ******* lost with out you
My dearest lovely ****

i crave you
i crave you like a cigarette, to press my lips softly upon you and **** out your insides with one flick of my tongue,
to breathe you in and watch you dance about lazily in the sunlight,
i crave you like whiskey,
the kind that when you sip it, in a large bed with soft blankets, next to a girl that’s like an angel compared to myself
the devil,
it burns your throat and lights you on fire,
blowing up your stomach in one thousand different explosions of flames,
but i’d rather be on fire with you.
i crave you like i crave paper,
the soft, porcelain face, the dark dance of my pen gliding upon its silky body,
words twisting and twirling,
i crave you like midnight writing when the moon is out
and the air is soft and thick,
and the neighborhood is asleep and everything is white noise
but the scratching of pens and crickets singing in the east,
quiet under the rising sun.
i crave your skin on mine
friction and fire,
your lips on mine
smoky, drunk,
i crave you like freedom on a summer night.

It's Friday night.
The drunks are at play.
Is that fun? What they do?
Black out.
I tried it.
Failed.
"Get it yourself."
They shouted at me.
As I asked for water.
While in a docile state.
And yet.
I still want to join them.
Their comraderie.
Its life.

He opens his Star Wars: A New Hope lunch box
Inside a hippies dream.
**** in baggies that have the superman symbol
And Batman symbol on them
Tabs of LSD
And molly.
Hunter S. Thompson would have a field day

©Gambit '13