I only truly understood who you were after I left,
after it was too late to go back
Because I knew,
and I know now,
that I broke your heart
It was petty,
i was selfish,
and I will always be sorry for underestimating you,
for not giving you enough of a chance
That day I didn’t just leave scars on you,
i created some of my own
I’m sorry I didn’t know better,
but thank you for
making
me
better
at
love

What are my coping mechanisms?
Rap
Bass blaring
Obnoxiously loud
So loud the people beside me worry about how long I will be able to hear
When all I care about is how well it will be able to drown out my thoguhts
Stop me from thinking about you
Trying so ******* hard to not let my mind drift
Back to what we were
And what we could have became.
I feel stupid for even thinking these things
When I know you have moved on.
Why can’t I delete you from my life too?

-to the boy I think I loved but never had enough courage to say because I was too caught up in protecting my own heart