i.
there are some mornings that i
can't get out of bed.  it's much safer
underneath the covers, and even if my sheets aren't
white like they are supposed to be
they are the only things that still feel clean
because every other inch of my room
still tastes and smells and feels like you.

ii.
it was 12:07 when i saw you again
for the first time in months; you didn't know what to
say, so i said it all for you by saying
nothing; it was just enough for both of us.

iii.
later i told you that we should talk, but
when the time came, i couldn't find my words,
so instead, i just decided to cling to you.  
you thought it was maybe because i was trying to
tell you i missed you, or maybe  i was leading you
on- you were wrong on both accounts.
i was just scared of letting you go because you
make bad decisions when you're alone and i didn't want you
to leave the room feeling cold.

iv.
there are some nights that i
can't get into bed.  when i'm awake at least i can
control the number of times you get into my head;
but sleep scares me now because every time i
close my eyes it's like you're still here and
no matter how hard i pretend that your company is easy
it's always unsettling- the honest truth is that
ever since i let you go, i've watched you become a ghost.