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well I guess you've moved on already
it still hurts so much
to know that you replaced me so fast

I sit in my room and cry for days
so no one can see the pain
I'm slowly dying on the inside

sometimes I wonder if you feel the same
late at night
when your left alone with your mind
 Mar 2014 Sarah Savannah
NitaAnn
I have an ache in my heart and my thoughts are running wild.
I try to find the words to express how I feel, but the words won't come.


If this were a poem, I could express myself. If this were a song, I could sing what I wanted to say. But to just write it down, no euphemisms, no *******... no matter what I write- it isn't exactly what I want to convey.
My heart beats itself against my ribcage in hopes of escaping this ugly and unwanted shell of an empty dying soul.
Where do I go from here?

I feel nothing now…I am an empty, hollow “done with all the emotions”
and stuck in neutral….and for the life of me I can’t figure out what’s wrong. What led to this moment?


What’s wrong with me? I think I may be broken.I struggle with faith, my purpose in life, my value. I wish I could just forget. Forget about the people who hurt me. Forget about the pain. Why does it matter? I'm afraid of the girl inside of me. She's full of rage, bitterness, hate, guilt and sadness....... (she's not a nice person) and yet, even with all of these feelings inside of her, she's totally empty... she is a hollow shell.
There’s three ways to burn out a star
Call home and tell your mother you’re doing okay
But you won’t be home for Chirstmas
Tell her the dress she bought you wrinkled
So you cut up the edges with broken glass
Ask her to save your pay stubs in the spare bedroom
With the wedding ring you never could sell
Tell her she’s beautiful despite the lighting because the bulb is in your throat anyway

There’s two ways to burn out a star
Take your roommate out for coffee
Order one thing the cashier likes and another the manager hates
Tell your roommate you couldn’t decide what he’d like best
Ask him about the first time he saw an accident
Ask him if he saw the dog
And if he didn’t you show him where it hurts you most
Right under your navel where that filament got stuck

There’s one way to burn out a star
Leave a voicemail for yourself asking where you’ve gone to
And where did you put all of the towels
Make a fuss about a dinner party
Leave your phone on the bench and put on dark glasses
Walk away slowly while stripping off your clothes
Head into the sea
©jp http://creepytwin.tumblr.com/post/77211896621/theres-three-ways-to-burn-out-a-star-call-home
Once upon a time
I carried a corkscrew in my teeth
and tiny feathers leaked out
every time I whispered.
I wonder where the time goes
when you’re not cleaning out the shower drain;
all my hair collects in my pocketbook.
The barista asks for change
and all I can produce is pen caps
and an expired ****** I found in your glove box.
An ocean stands on two feet before me,
all this leather in my hands,
but I’m pierced by the clockhands
I saw in the lines around your mouth.
Tiny feathers leaking out.
©jp http://creepytwin.tumblr.com/post/76904053618/once-upon-a-time-i-carried-a-corkscrew-in-my
A blade spun ‘round your finger marks my neck
Her mouth is swollen and flowering
Juice drips down my fingers digging out the meaty fruit
The air citrine

Your eyes are greener than the summer we spent driving every waterfall straight into the ground
Crashing with the frozen rock we stirred in melting mirrors
Did we actually find the time?

The whiskey was strong but your fingers broke
Every string leading back to wire
No soft fraying, no dye, no red attachment underground
The lyrics lied and you blamed my gait

My stomach bursts in my dreams now
Her teeth are spread out between a hanging tongue
And I’ve only just learned my name
©jp http://creepytwin.tumblr.com/post/73492942688/ship-tank
I’m up before the sun most days

Drinking instant coffee and debating with myself

I write out all my thoughts and no conclusions come to mind

The phone rings off the hook but no one calls

I leave the house but never go outside

And every wall remembers what I’ve done behind fresh paint

No grounds for or from

I sleep before the dawn, between the lines
©jp http://creepytwin.tumblr.com/post/65339385761/im-up-before-the-sun-most-days-drinking-instant
which to do
the expectations
or my will
only when they are one
or when they clash

what to do
when my friends think
i should jump
and i just want to sit and think
or just want left be

why and how do
i keep getting along?
this game is eating me
so which why what and how to do?
what you guys think? :/
message me one day
in the summer
and i did not know you
we talk, and haven't stopped

just friends, anything else?
but we keep conversations with
each other, but cannot with others
odd predicament?

what you guys think?
a girl and boy who
talk on facebook all the time
never in person though

friends just friends though? is it odd?
someone pointed out that me and this girl are " to close and talk to much to be friends" but we are, is that odd?
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