They say
Time
Heals wounds
I say
It doesn’t

I know
Time
Deepens the
Cuts

Time
Is what breaks
My heart
Over
And over again

A year
An anniversary

Every time
I see
That date
I explode
And feel the break

Time
Deceives me
It ends my life
Every January
I’m reminded
That it
Never stops

Time
Just keeps
Ticking
It doesn’t
Get better
It brings
No resolve

Another Year
Another anniversary
And I’m broken
All over again

I’m not sad
I’m angry
That time
Just keeps going
And you didn’t

Little explosions
Deal little damage
So small you don't notice
The foundation has cracked

Little fires
Cause tiny frays
Small singes to the roots
Slowly unravel the knots

Little bullets
Lead to massive bleeding
Tiny nicks to the stem
Drained a lifetime into the dirt

Little lies
Create patterns of devastation
One little explosion after another
Detonate the end of our life

In between the joy
Are puddles of anger
I tip toe around them
So my socks don't fill with water

I carefully dodge
The stray bullets of fire
Soaked in the rage
Waiting for the drive-by

The eggs have broken
I cracked their shells long ago
Holding onto the exhale
Peace will be the final blow

There's an argument in my head
Two sides bickering all day long
One voice cares about everything
The others don't care at all

My ears ring with the screaming
While my voice is quiet as a cloud
Constantly wrestling the back and forth
Holding a smile up to my mouth

I give in to one or the others
Understanding everything from both sides
Creating this war of what should I do
I'm sorry and I don't care at all

My mind is a calamity
Wasting away all of my time
Deciding whether I deserve rage or peace
It's so loud I've become paralyzed

There is no conclusion but mystery
Battling these thoughts that are all talk
This inability to uncover who I truly am
Has led me to become nothing at all

We've all become distracted by ourselves
Worried about how many Followers we have
Sixty second Gods of our own making
An electronic Bible in our hands

Comments then become passages of Truth
Faith being written by everyone else
Talking to no one alone in our homes
Influencing ourselves to Death

The villain
In my life
Showed her face
At an early age
I saw the evil
In her eyes and teeth
The rage of a mother
Who didn’t want to be

My failure was
Being told the truth
And then denied love
That was deserved
You didn’t believe
What was spat in my face
Victims to this facade
Sacrificed my childhood

She’s haunted
My every move
While you bullied me
With your guilt
This truth of
Being unwanted
Revealed through my
Shattered innocence

The villains
In my life are
My mothers before me
Forced love is
Layered with disdain
So I suffer the weight
Of their unwanted children
Mine will never know this shame

I only exist in my mind
Revealing the person I need
To be when the time is right
The most real parts of me
Live and breathe in what I write
The person that you see
Is not even really alive