I'm so tired.
tired of all the broken glass,
we dance around.

And waltz to.

I've never been so scared to say goodbye,
to you.

I have fallen off that
cliff again.
That rigged cliff
that gently kissed
the night (away).
The rocky cliff,
it cannot hold our
weight.
And so who is to
fall, if not you?
(Then me).
I couldn't catch
the stars for you,
this time.

The landscape that I see
is so revealing
And it tells the tale of
you and I.
The hills, the slopes,
the mountain tops,
Where passion meets the Sky.

I've never known the sun could set like yours.

The flower of once was
the leaves of all the grown.

The leaves and petals and stems and stuff
of all the things I own.

And what is it
I own on Earth?
If not the lakes and sea?

The flower of
my time on Earth.

A time
that own not me.

It's more than words can say
It is.
I must be a fool in love.
I must be falling as you
climb the rocks for me.
I see you in
love with me.

I haven't skinned my knees in way too long.

I haven't fallen in the dirt for
so
so long.

I must be a fool in love.

Hey, lilac girl,
girl who sweetly whispered
"here comes spring."
girl falling from the
ash grove, to the creek.
a map to find the faeries,
"here comes spring."
hey, lilac girl.
girl who sees the roses
growing taller,
leaving her
behind.
"hey, you're blocking the sun
from me.
Where is it you're going?"
far from me
sings
lilac girl
fell ill.
fell black and backwards.
hey, the shade of August's rose.
"Wait for me," girl sings.
she cannot catch up to spring.
Can you hear me, August rose?
Hey, Lilac girl.

I came back for you.

I hope you found
that forest filled with
hope and
rocks to climb.
And full leaved
trees, to
shade you from
the world.

I could captivate the ocean
and confuse Midnight for Dawn
I could produce tiny seeds
use tulips as grass on my lawn
I can grow bark on my skin
and let leaves fall form my eyes

You could turn me into ashes
and you wouldn't have to try.

For you, I'd wrestle planets
I would battle with them all
I'd watch them sink into the sky,
I'd watch, to watch them fall.

I could memorize the river
and lure the night with sin,
I'd breathe you in so deeply,
and then I'd breathe you out again.
I breathe while I'm untouched
air falls, it falls from high
You could turn my soul to dust

and you wouldn't have to try.

I can't lose you.
I can already feel the aching in my bones,
in my skin, my deadened joints.
I couldn't take it if I lost you.
[Let me fall asleep] where I cannot see sunlight,
I could not bear to see the sunlight,
without your hand in mine.
I already feel the absence of your
                                            touch.
Your whisper
                            [in my ear]
and your breath on my neck,
deceased.

And I can feel what life would be like without you.

the endless night of anguish.
the days of too many hours.
the fog progressing in.

It'll never stop raining.

And the pain my eyes would bear,
having seen all that they have seen
[and seeing you in everything]

Oh,
the thought of if i lost you.
and a sea of blankets cover me,
with agony,
numbness
sweeping
over
me.
If I lose you,

I lose everything.

Could you forgive the siren I am?
How this sea is eating me.
and has swallowed me up,
body whole, I'm incomplete.
There is no sunrise under these waters.
No end and no beginning.
No warmth. No touch.

I only see blue.

I will not be a siren to you.
Filled with false acclamations and tales.
covered with blue and black,
A beast who cries ink and does not see the tentacles forming underneath her.
I vow to never sing a song that is not mine
to ears as deserving as yours.
Oh, to let you in the depths of me,
every cave, every fissure.
Your eyes on everything that rouses within me.

To be the shoreline to you.

And to never haunt you with the fathoms of the deep and illusory,
transparent words I formed.
I can only look up at you,

beached.

the ***** of the sea.
repulsive and exposed.

Forgive me for the siren I 've been.

Tonight, I am in a field of vision.
I see the future stand before me
holding out her hand to me
revealing her plan to me.
Fate sees greater things in me.
No longer concealed, in the valley,
I stand.
Tested, as man.
empty spaces lay before me,
and choices, ahead of me,
I follow as she guides me
keeping hope alive in me.
She says,"everything that was is over now."

I breathe.

I met Destiny in the field, tonight.
My prophecy was portrayed to me
and I saw my future in her eyes.
Unveiled, so easily, she showed me the truth.
And whispered, "You will always know, always have known, that the earth meant greater things for you."

I knew.

I played with the future tonight.
And she touched me with divination.
Caressed me with vaticination.
Tonight, she blessed me with my prognostication.

I received a vision.

I am in love with you
and everything you've ever been
or touched
a whisper in the smallest flower
of your love

In every lavender or lilac bush,
your eyes reflect the violet
soul you hold
within the casket
called your skin.

I love the senseless
romance
in the goofy grin you style
and the way your hair
gently strokes your cheek
up and down the flowered aisle

I see the placid blush of spring
blossom in your love.

The flower of once was
the leaves of all
the grown
the leaves and petals and stems and stuff
of all the things I own

And what is it,
I own on Earth?
if not the lakes and seas.

The flower of my time on Earth,
a time that own
not me.

The landscape that I see is so
revealing

And it tells the tale
of you and I

the hills, the slopes, the mountain tops,
where passion meets the sky

I've never known the sun could set like yours.

It's one of those days where nothing make me happy.

No chocolate, no paint, no clanging of the bells
that usually bring me joy.

And it's the first snow in a year.

the heater's on, covered in blankets
and wrappings.
Adorned with shoes and sweaters and things.
Hair in two braids, my glasses are clean.

And the snow, it falls,
in large white clumps.

It's one of those days where nothing seems
quite
right.

Too many questions, indifference, I sit and stare
at the pasty white wall.

I need to get out.

my nails are pink and my stomach is full. And I know
that I'm loved beyond reason.

It's one of those days where nothing makes me happy.

So what is love
when a song comes,

flutters from the neck
of your wrist,
that dainty wrist which

sang to me
a lullaby,

and fell asleep

a moment in your arms

softly sings the carriage called

your love.

I believe in romance,
in love
and souls
and spirits.
in everyday, everything
a leaf can move
can touch
can grow.
I believe in forever with you
a forever with
you in the nest
of a bluebird.
love, the bluebird sings.

I believe in romance,
in love
and souls
and spirits.
in everyday, everything
a leaf can move
can touch
can grow.
I believe in forever with you
a forever with
you in the nest
of a bluebird.
love, the bluebird sings.

I believe in romance,
in love
and souls
and spirits.
in everyday, everything
a leaf can move
can touch
can grow.
I believe in forever with you
a forever with
you in the nest
of a bluebird.
love, the bluebird sings.

I haven't made
the mistake
in so long.
the mistake of watching
you move
and twist,
lit like a cigarette.
I haven't let my eyes follow you,
wander to you,
search for you,
like the way
they naturally
do
[I haven't let them find you]
in so long.

This was supposed to help me heal.

Mosquito tap on the glass

one more time

mosquito crook, tap,
nose to the glass.

you can't catch me anymore.

How can I greet you like
the corner of a leaf?

[when] like the edge of
a thistle, I meet you.
awkward, abrasive.
I'd like to be like a leaf
and let the wind carry me
until the fall
            of you and me.

I wasn't made for here.

I wasn't given the tools
I need to
survive here.

I don't know who I am.
I can't tell who
you see me as
who I want
you to
believe me as.

I do not belong with you.

You swore you'd never lie to me
again.
Remember the aching I
carried for you?
So high within my arms.
Safe and high within my arms?

You'd never tell a lie
again.
one that would make me cry.
You said I wouldn't cry.
But how could I not
when you lied to me
again.
and how do I trust
the tongue
that disrupted my reality?
disrupted the picture
I had of you with me.
And you swear you'll never lie.
again.

I feel myself fading
in the midst of all
I've been told to believe in.
Am I the
only one
who
feels as if
the world wasn't made for me?

The world makes no sense to me.

No logic.

The questions I have that won't be answered.

All I can do is
exhale
"faith..."

I am brought to you
in my dreams
again tonight.
Why does your ghost choose to haunt me
in a way I can't control?
in a way I can't escape?
in a way I do not wish to go
a path I couldn't choose to break

and **** the stones you stand on!

**** the stones beneath you.

You're the ghost;
and haunted, strucken, disturbed
I have fallen
beneath you.

beneath the vision of my
memories of you

It's true
I belong to the death of you.

and where is my escape!?

I cannot bear the thought
[tonight]
of seeing you again,

seeing your shadows inside of my head
when materially
eternally
It's clear to see
you're perished to me
to everywhere we have and have not been.

but I bring myself to you again.

I knew it was the end
the moment
they became
more important than me.

the moment you
stopped at nothing
to spend the time away

the time you used to save
to spend on me.

I knew this was the fall
when you rushed our
goodbyes, quickly.
Words off your lips,
spoke quickly
when they didn't seem as genuine

as they used to be.

I knew it was the end
as i felt myself
be switched onto
the back burner
behind the boiling pots you'd left behind
before.
but had suddenly found interested in again.

Sometimes,
for a moment,
time escapes me.
When I am alone at night
With the tv on
A forkful of noodles in an empty hand

Where has all the time gone?

When did I become unable
To keep track of the ticking clock?
flashing in front of me
memories of a distant vibrancy
I once held in my palm

Now ,
[without hesitation]
the remote control
A loosely clasped fist.
An empty dish
And a burnt out awareness of time.

Oh, black sky tonight
life is good; fate's done all right.
You and me
we both collide
in love.
and trust.

Seething in your gentle lust.

Oh, dark clouds, we fight.
I can see; love gave me sight.
You and me
in the moonlight
in love.
unplanned.

Gently is how you hold my hand.

Oh, your touch is sweet.
With each touch you're taunting me.
You and me.
We both agree.
We love.
We know.

In our hearts we can't let go.

Oh, you're breath is sweet.
With each breath you're haunting me.
You and me.
Eternally.
In love.
Apart.

Even then, you'll hold my heart.

Always and forever together.
And like the ocean meets the waves
I need you 'til
my dying day.

Oh, lights off in town.
Lamp on low; the curtains down.
You and me
don't make a sound.
In love.
And rest.

My heart is beating in your chest.

What would you say
  if I told you the earth spun [it spins] for you
  And where could we have been today
  if I hadn't said the stars shine [that they only shine] for you.
  Could we have been everything [for everything is nothing when I'm nothing to you]
  Could we have been loving [for loving means something, when I'm loving you]
  You're the oxygen in me
  how can I say I don't need you
  when I need you
  [just to breathe]
  How would you react
  If I told you the grass grew [it grows] to be closer to you
  and where would we be at
  if I hadn't said the flowers bloom [that they only bloom] for you.
  Would we be kissing [for each kiss I've missed is a way to your heart]
  Would we be forever [for forever is empty 'cause you've torn me apart]
  You've walked the road with me
  how can I say I'm strong here
  When without you
  [I'm so weak]
  Talk to me, do.
  walk with me, through.
  Tell me that you need me or that I mean something to you.
  Just...
  love me.
  love me.

It was so silent as I felt
Your hand in mine.
It’s heavy, you told me.
It’s heavy.
Heavy is the word I have grown to fear
On the lips of you, lover.
The lips that have been so kind
To me
Sweet to me
Fidelity.
But that’s all soiled now
With the dirt of lover’s past.
Of moments where you fell – I couldn’t catch you!
Moments where you didn’t want to be here
Anymore.
Lover, the ribbons are unraveling
In this quiet.
This quiet hum of the engine (roaring) and
The thought of only
Your hand in mine.
The shade of your eyes
Looking back and forth,
Whispering forgive me.
But all I hear is heavy.
Buried by your heavy.
Forgive me, laughs your heavy.
Your hand is so heavy in mine.

This is where I am right now.
Miles between who I was this morning
And who I’ll be tomorrow.
This is where I am with thoughts of you.
Holding the elbow of a memory,
Of a cup of coffee, of the way
Your bones move around me.
These memories won’t stop laughing.
Grinning, cackling, teasing me.
I feel a change in time.
All the clocks controlling us have broken.
Where did the bird go, the bird that
Chirps the hour?
The hours of who I have been with you…
Miles away from who I was
With you
And who you were
To me.
Everything has changed.

Bring roses to me by the grave
Of everything we used to have
Every hope i once felt flourishing,
Flowering within me.
Abolishing every glass animal in me –
Shattered and busted.
Broken by the burdens
That once buried your
Soul.
Would you bring lilies to
Me?
Dripping with the nectar of my
Once blossomed truth.
My truth was just a lie in you.
And for a moment,
I can’t catch Spring.

The way the light is the star of the dark
is how obviously I love you.
Never faltering, steady, and sultry
simple is how I long to love you.
Like the moon lights up the sky,
is how your soul has changed my life.
And like the sun rolls off the land
is the warmth I feel inside your hands.

We are tucked inside a flower
we are ancestors of the rose
the petals hold us closely
...you and me enclosed...

There's a dam that's built around us
pushing you closer to me
the walls are pushing in my feelings
You and I become the sea.

We are enclosed spaces
under the flowers, we're concealed.
I am everything you've opened
and you're the reality of surreal.

We are drops within a faucet
we are love I can't portray
We are flowing towards our destiny
We are sealed.
We are fate.

It be so lightly,
as we close our lips to passion
  and open our lips to lust.
  Advantage be taken of me
  as this reminds me of the memories
  And though love has left this action,
  his touch is still worth anything.
  Even without feeling [behind it]
  I confide in it.
  I'm alive with him.
  His kiss to me is for his own,
  Not for a feeling of which should be known.
  There is nothing now, but cold lips and
  empty words.
  No feeling or vision of love can be heard.
  And all he feels is sensuality,
  This is my sad reality,
  For every touch or stare received,
  He will never again feel love me,
  For his love for me
  Took its leave
  He breathes with sexuality.

I can't deny every thought though
   for every vision is given through the things I have liven.
  And every petal's not a petal without
  you inside and every thought has no meaning
'Cause only you are in my mind.
  I can't touch your heart anymore than you touch me now
  For every breath isn't breathing, when my heart isn't beating in you.
  I can't explain every song sang
  For every melody is holding me, your memory hurts like hell in me
  And every star isn't a star without your love
  And my heart has no healing when push comes to shove.
  I can't kiss your soul anymore than you kiss me now,
  For every smile isn't smiling, when my soul remains dying for you.
  You can't regret the way we were
  For everything is a blur when you're smiling at her,
  And every tree's not a tree, when you've forgotten my heart
  As either a tree or a heart, it can still fall apart.
  You won't talk to me anymore than I don't look at you
  So it be that every planet stops spinning
  The end the beginning
  The won can't be winning
  When I am not living with you.

To see the fall, the bend at the waist,

The length of your hair set around you.

The parting of your lips, and the fleeting of hot breath.

It touches me, no tomorrow.

I know there is no tomorrow.

I am defeated again, inches from you,

from the branches, the muscles, the veins,  the sinews.

Inches from all you used to say to me

From your mind that remembers the softness you gave to me.

I’m

Straining and reaching

receiving nothing from you.

To see the fall, the end of amour

The end of everything I was to you.

No tomorrow.

I would still try to be it for you.

Be zeal, be warmth, be tomorrow for you.

My bony hands, cold and reaching for you.

The porcelain wrist that used to feel

the leave-taking of your lips

Crooks to no tomorrow.

Crooks and croons, there’s no tomorrow.

There’s no tomorrow,

I pray you.

I have followed, wondering behind you.

  Always curious, always a dancer.

  Always flowing, twisting.

  The snake wants to know more.

                                                  

  We were ephemeral.

  We were nothing but a season.

  The ethereal love of an era.

  I wish  had meant more [to you].



  I am the porcelain dancer.

  And I am tripping, I'm stumbling, I'm falling apart.

  I can hear our rhapsody destroying me

  transforming me,

  making a cobra out of me.



  Oh, to be the dancer.

I love you.
  Not because the valley floor is growing greener by the hour
  and not because flowers bloom after April showers,
  I live you.
  Not knowing that every breath I breathe could be my last
  and embracing the future like I have had no past. . .
  I long for every song that is sang in your heart
  and every melody from the highest mountain of your soul.
  The wind can't sweep you away from my mind
  and even the wisest can't compete with everything I know.

  I'm forgetting the sun can never touch the moon
  and that the sky keeps them apart.
  I forget Earth can't be friends with Neptune
  and India will never visit Madagascar.
  And every place I am I cannot be somewhere else.

  I forget that time keeps us apart.
  I can't be close to you
  For it's written in the stars for you to be distant from my heart.

  A bird will never be a tree
  and a tree never a cloud
  and silence will always be quiet, for quiet can never be loud.

  I forget that a Mormon will not love a Buddhist
  the tough must be tough, for the soft is called softer.
  and even fairy tales aren't always Happily Ever After.

  I love you.
  Not because I am trying to put one with one to equal two.
  Not because I am trying to trick fate into putting me closer to you.
  I live you.
  Not because I am trying to take a skip over time,
  but because you are forever in my body, soul, and mind.
  And I love you.
  Not because I want to point destiny as a fool,
  But because the one thing I won't forget, will always be you.