I peeked out
from the tomb
that seemed to have
built around me,
trapped inside
and failing to grow

I reached my
hands up like
there's something
stirring within me

after my heart stopped
beating
    months
        ago.

I was already
falling
  when the rain
came down

like checkered
streams of
   tinsel
that make
us into
ornaments - a hook,
an eye

I always fall
  come
wintertime.

One week ago
already today
when I was the
    sunset and you
were the waves
where day closed
its eyes and
the moon & stars
lifted
My hope lies in
you and my soul,
the Pacific.

coffee carafe
unspoken words
clawfoot bath
singing birds

cotton and brass
a pew in church
catholic mass
eternal search

Nothing exists,
that, I'm certain

I want to see
what's
behind the curtain.

I keep thinking about
  San Diego
   and sitting with you
- the oceanside

My blanket's on
my glass is full,
it's all hot wax
   and candlelight

I can read your lips
before I even hear
  goodbye

I'm not ready to
watch this go
& leave
this all
behind.

Sometime then
  I can't quite remember when
we threw
trash
     on the bonfire

it looked ugly,
   and we'd scream
    
- throw crab apples at
one
    another

Sometime then,
  when we were tired and
thin,
  tripping on patches &
holes
in the floor

I took your hand
  our socks filled with sand
and laughed like
poverty
didn't
hurt
any
    more

I thought that
reaching out my hand from
  black coats and layers
that
slipping off a glove to
let my fingers out
to feel you
would
make
you
feel
me
too.